Is it just me or...

IceHide61313

Or is there anyone else out there that doesn't like GOT... I just can't feel anything in that position! I feel like a nutbag because everybody I talk to says it is the best and that is how they 'get off.'

Also, am I the only one who feels like I am close but then it feels like it can't get better. I haven't/don't think I have O'ed before. Like I said, I feel like I could and then I just get "stuck." I try to get over that hump, but I just can't get anywhere with it.

TarponMonoxide

kbielenberg:

Or is there anyone else out there that doesn't like GOT... I just can't feel anything in that position! I feel like a nutbag because everybody I talk to says it is the best and that is how they 'get off.'

Also, am I the only one who feels like I am close but then it feels like it can't get better. I haven't/don't think I have O'ed before. Like I said, I feel like I could and then I just get "stuck." I try to get over that hump, but I just can't get anywhere with it.

What's great for one person isn't great for another.:)

You probably haven't masturbated; if you did, you'd sure know what an orgasm feels like. So I suggest you start.

Try it alone and try different touches.  Then show him.

Oral works, too. If he isn't going down on you, he needs to start.

IceHide61313

Oh, I've 'done myself' as we call it hahaha. Especially in the shower .. Same thing, though: I just get stuck. He's done oral on me before but I end up thinking about myself down there. UGH, STUPID MIND! LOL... How do you not freak out about how you 'are' down there? I mean I know I keep myself clean but still. ...Oh thank God this is anonymous haha!

Amt2109

Well, part of it is that you just have to let go and enjoy. But Tarpon is correct about different things appealing to different people. While I've learned to let go and enjoy  - and while its nice, I don't get much from oral, personally. For others, its the only thing that gets them going.

If it wouldn't be tmi or too personal - describe 'stuck'. Is it a mental block? Do you feel like you can't let go? Do you just get too uncomfortable? Maybe you just need to let yourself be in the moment. I know it sounds weird, but your minds probably racing about stuff. It doesn't need to be.

Joy2611

What is GOT?  Getting on top?  Sorry - I just haven't seen that before.

Everyone likes different things.  I like being on top, but I hate oral.  So, I'm just as strange as you because I feel like most women are like "oral is the BEEEEEEEST!"  It took me a long time to realize that I'm not odd, I just like it a different way.  No big deal.

I had to teach myself how to have an orgasm with another person.  On my own, it's a breeze, but with another person I was less concentrated or more distracted.  For me, an orgasm is about 75% mental.  It took a few months and patience on my part, but I learned what works for me and how to keep my head in the game.  Now?  I orgasm about 95% of the time with intercourse.

I'm not saying that everyone will have results like mine because - again - everyone is different.  However, I think you owe it to yourself to really figure out what works for you and not to be afraid to ask your partner for it.  He wants to please you - I guarantee it.  However, unlike him, touch alone isn't going to get you there - the rest is going to be your head.

Good luck!!

anssett

kbielenberg:

Oh, I've 'done myself' as we call it hahaha. Especially in the shower .. Same thing, though: I just get stuck. He's done oral on me before but I end up thinking about myself down there. UGH, STUPID MIND! LOL... How do you not freak out about how you 'are' down there? I mean I know I keep myself clean but still. ...Oh thank God this is anonymous haha!

Does this mean you try to masturbate in the shower but still can't orgasm?

If you've NEVER orgasmed before the likelihood you'll figure it out with an inexperienced partner is near 0. Women's bodies are complicated (so are men's but most of them have been masturbating to orgasm for 10+ years before marriage). What gets you off is very specific to you! It might even change with time as your hormones/body/age/relationships/etc change.

What a lot of not-yet-orgasmic women don't appreciate is that there's a mental journey through physical sensations that is the path to orgasm. I don't just lay there and it magically happens. I have to guide my thoughts, guide my partner (or vibrator), seek out the sensation I need at that time to move closer to orgasm. I touch myself A LOT. That's not because my sweetie is failing me! It's because I know exactly what my body wants in that moment and if I give it to myself everyone wins!

It will probably take you 30-45 minutes of masturbating to orgasm the first several times. That will feel like forever. You can do this with a partner or alone, but it needs to be ALL focused on you, your body, your path, not intercourse & the partner sex parts. Get a vibrator or 3. Get some lube. Get a safe space. Get something that turns you on like MAD (could be erotica, porn, your sweetie whispering in your ear, switch between these, whatever). Then go crazy. Explore sensations. Try different settings. Different parts of you. Inside, outside, nipples, play. But don't let yourself quit before 45 minutes have passed.

That's my challenge to you. SO many women I know had to power through this long long exploration to figure out how to orgasm. Then with practice it gets faster, easier, and able to happen during your partner sex acts.

KenziK

I do not like being on top at all so you are definitely not alone! Also, I know how you feel when you think you are getting close but then it goes away. I have to have a lot of foreplay and not be stressed out in order to have an orgasm, which has been hard to do lately. Usually when we use toys DH can get me to very quickly, the past couple times though it will start building and right before the climax it seemingly disappears. Try and really get yourself relaxed before sex. Take a nice bath together, give each other massages, and spend a significant amount of time on foreplay!

IceHide61313

Sorry I've been MIA- dear AF caught the best of me. But thank you all, ladies! I think you guys are right, it is all about what is going on up there (in the head) than what is going on down there.

@ Amt2109 I guess I would describe it as like feeling great and just need to get a little further but then it just like starts going numb or like the feeling is going away. It's hard to describe.

@Joy2611 GOT mean Girl On Top, so you were close. .. And I know he wants to please me. In fact, sometimes I think he tries to go extra long to please me when in reality I would just like him to hurry up so we could do it again later. Ha!

@ annsett Yes, I try in the shower and I still can't. That or I have and it just isn't as huge as I'd thought it'd be. I've heard of that before... 30 to 45 minutes is a LONG time. I think that's what really kills me cause I just want it to happen, ya know?

@ KenziK I am SO happy to hear you have the same 'problem' as me and that you don't care for GOT.

Thanks for the tips, ladies!

tooquick1

I am surprised to read that it can take up to 45 minutes for some ladies to have a O as a result of masturbating...

Would it come quicker by watching porn I wonder ?

Or if one allowed her imagination to include perhaps a taboo sexual fantasy ? Would that speed things along ?

afipps

Everyone is different but I prefer GOT reverse cowgirl style. I also you clitoral stimulation and if bf is engaging... doesnt take long

Give it a try. 

dancingphalanges

Everyone is different in what gets them off, and it's okay if that's not your favorite position.  I personally like girl on top, just because the friction is good for me, and DH can touch my body better.  I used to hate it actually, so I guess that goes to show that your preferences can change.  PP are definitely right that orgasm is mostly mental.  If I find that I'm not getting along like I'd like to be, I have a few fantasies that can help, or I'll close my eyes and just concentrate on how it feels, or change up what we're doing.  Often a little more lube or a vibrator can make a huge difference also.   Masturbating is a very good starting place on figuring out what you like and then showing DH how to touch you.  Sex is just one of those those things you have to keep experimenting at until you get it right.