Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need help in the area of anal
Ok.. I've only had anal sex maybe one or two times. Hubby wants to try it more but to me it hurts. Is there anything out there that can help ease the pain? Are there any techniques that can be done to ease the discomfort?
Thanks
Re: Need help in the area of anal
I too find it painful. We use lots and lots of lube lol. The brand we use is Astroglide but there are several different types and brands that have a numbing effect, althought I don't know that numb is safe because pain is usually your body's way of communicating to you...
http://storeforlovers.com/shop-product.cfm/ProdID/2897/Anal-Ease--5-oz
http://storeforlovers.com/shop-product.cfm/SubCatID/192/ProdID/6317/The-Lube-Launcher
hope this helps.
OMG. Before you go off on bad advice, let's start with the basics.
Your body is plenty capable of having a penis in your butt without pain. It stretches when you poop and that isn't excruciating! To get there you need LOTS AND LOTS of build up. I don't mean 10 minutes of foreplay, I mean foreplay, some oral sex, maybe an orgasm or two, then start with the anal play. Your body takes a REALLY long time to relax physically so you can enjoy the sensations rather than be in pain.
USING DESENSITIZING LUBE CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS!!!!! You need to be able to feel what's going on to protect your body. Don't do it this terrible way, read on.
To actually get penetrated I'd recommend starting with a finger (I prefer latex or nitrile gloved, well lubed, fingers - grocery and drug stores sell boxes of these gloves). The gloves help with cleanliness (you just throw them away after) as well as protecting you from fingernail abrasions. The recipient (you) gets to set the pace. The penetrator should gently rub around the anus before any penetration. If you want to also rub your clit at the same time it helps keep your body relaxed and engaged. If your partner keeps their finger still you can move your body onto it SLOWLY. You are setting the pace! You decide what feels good and embrace it, or back off if it doesn't feel good. Breathe a lot. Go slow. Relax. This way you are least likely to hurt yourself and have a negative experience.
Having anal sex is pretty much the same thing. Lots of build up, go slow, TONS of lube, and the recipient moves their body onto a condom-covered penis (good for cleanup and STI protection!). Some people find they really like the sensation and can then add more movement (penis moving in and out), but ALL THIS MOVEMENT has to be initiated by the recipient.
A middle ground step is using a vibrator for anal penetration. If you're going to re-use it EVER on your vagina you need to cover it with a condom for cleanliness. Period. This sensation can be very pleasurable with a second vibrator or partner having vaginal penetrative sex.
reminders - you can never use too much lube
if you think you're going slow enough, go even slower
This is olympic level sex and should be done with partners you trust who love you enough to be kind/patient/gentle
My wife and I have only tried anal one time.....and even then I just barely inserted the tip of my penis and stopped because it was very uncomfortable for her.
My question for those who have done it is what about the smell ? I mean we all know what come out of that area...Does the lube mask the odor ?
Start slow. It should NEVER hurt if done properly. WHen the penis enters, it should cause the anal muscles to spasm. Pain occurs when he does not wait for these muscles to relax.
I would recommend Intimate Organics Adventure Woman's Anal Spray. http://www.mysecretluxury.com/bath-body/stimulants/intimate-organics-adventure-womans-anal-relaxing-spray
Also, don't forget to use anal lube, which is thicker and provides a more comfortable feeling by reducing friction and sensation. I would recommend Sliquid Organics Natural Gel Anal Lubricant. http://www.mysecretluxury.com/bath-body/lubricants/water-lubricant/sliquid-organics-natural-gel-anal-lubricant
Good luck and have fun!
Thanks My Secret, this is very....very helpful!
My fiance loves anal, but it hurts like hell!
Lots of silicone based lube makes it much easier! Key is to go slow. If he enters me from behind, it is so painful. If I'm on my back it is much better, and doesn't hurt so much.
I tried the anal desensitizing lube, it does not work! makes it worse!
Hope this helps!
Also, deff go to the bathroom before anal sex.
Ever try a butt plug with lube? You can find them at any sex shop. The butt plug helps you stretch a little before you man goes in. I suggest putting the butt plug in and then having a bit more foreplay to get you in the mood. Trust me this works and is a lot of fun when you ease into it rather than just shoving something that is rather large in a small area.