Can't agree on style...

jcg23

Me and my FI have been living in a house for over 6 months now we have talked about painting the rooms but cant agree on anything and I feel a bit cheated on the  fact that he gets to do whatever to the basement and then won't let me decide on colors or decor for the living room. He doesn't trust in my style and worries I'll turn the living room into a pink nightmare. First I don't like pink. I said maybe we should go for a lavender pinkish color it was some kind of color with rose in it. He shot it down instantly without even considering it. I have tried to comprimise saying okay well lets paint one wall darker for contrast he says nothing. I know it won't happen for a while and now mainly due to our disagreeance. I am just tired of not being able to show my own style anywhere. I do pay half the bills and help clean the house. Shouldn't I be allowed to decide on  something? Also to clarify I don't want to turn the house into something he sees as a nightmare I just want him to actually talk with me on it. He so far hasn't presented any ideas. I want comprimise. And he so far said "you can have the spare bedroom" to decorate. It really kind of bugs me that he isn't making it feel like OUR house... I may be over analyzing but this has been bothering me I need an unbiased 3rd person point of view.

TarHeels&Rebels

Men are visual creatures.  They almost uniformly shoot down any verbal suggestions.  Join Pinterest, create an inspiration board, and discuss decor with him over pictures.

And, well, if he really won't budge, I'd rethink this marriage business.  It's a two-way street and 60 or 70 years is a long time to live with someone who won't let you decorate anything more than the spare bedroom.

jcg23

true i need to go over this with him. if he wont budge we are going to have a more serious talk. because learning to comprimise now is very important much better to do it before marriage than after. 

BeckyOff

jcg23:

And he so far said "you can have the spare bedroom" to decorate.

Run with that, then.  Decorate the spare room.  Then you'll get to throw a big fat "I told you so" at him when it comes out awesome.  After he sees how awesome you are, then you'll have that as proof that you won't destroy the house with your decorating.

Ditto PP.  He needs some pictures & paint chips of what you have in mind.

MommyLiberty5013

www.hgtv.com

Take one of their numerous style and decor quizzes. Have him take one too.

It might provide some ideas.

jcg23

thank you guys. we talked and he agreed to look at pictures. at first he said but those pics are of rich peoples houses. i told him we are just looking for color schemes not the layout. he said okay. and my punctuation and all that is off because of my stupid phone. but anyways so hopefully we are making head way. i love the idea of showing him i can decorate haha. that indeed would be awesome. 

MommyLiberty5013

Yeah but the "rich peolpes' houses" as your DH said, get professional ideas which are PERFECT to copy!!!

And, who says you can't copy a $$$ decor scheme on a budget?!? It's totally doable.

Most of us here do that!

jcg23

Yeah, well he doesn't get that lol I mean if it were just for rich people no one else would buy those home decorating magazines. lol But we are making head way already! I am very happy about it. He has already agreed on many things like putting a poster where I want it (temporarily until we get more stuff) and also putting a dance pole in the basement of course he never really rejected that idea lol. But also looking at stuff online to get ideas go to places and look at paint colors and glancing at those pamphlets or magazines they keep near the paint w/ examples of rooms wouldn't be a bad idea either. It may help him make a decision at that point so he can see an end result as we are about to purchase. I guess really it was just the lack of proper communication. We are working on that at least, I am so glad we moved in together before getting married!