help convince me to be a nice person

KathrynMD

our neighbors, who live 2 doors down just had a new baby.  I have NEVER met them - even thoguht they have lived there for ~ 2 years.  DH has said hello and a few words w/ the husband - I think he gave him some tomatoes when they were out cutting grass at the same time.  I've been walking past their house a few times w/ DD while they were both outside and tried to wave, make eye contact - nothing, I tried to talk to the husband last year on Halloween (when their house was all decked out) and DD was an adorable enthusiastic 3 yo - still, barely a grunt from him.  There was a neighborhood bonfire this immediate past Halloween and DH went out for a little while - it was after DD's bedtime so I stayed home w/ her - but DH finally met the wife and it turned out she was pregnant and due end of December.

anyway - our other neighbors - who live next door to these guys on the other side - who we are friendly with, called yesterday to tell me that the other girl had her baby and some of the neighbors are organizing to make meals for them and wanted to know if I wanted to take one night.  I know I should participate in this and its the nice/neighborly thing to do - but its a little weird to be asked to do this too.  And, we've had discussions w/ the neighbors we know/talk to that the "new" people are a little weird/standoffish. 

I should do it though, right?

mrs. remy

Yeah. Maybe they are just socially awkward.

Ragdolls

I guess you should do it...though I'd be a little caught off guard as her if a bunch of neighbors I didn't know showed up at my door with frozen meals. Probably just me projecting my introvert ways onto them, though. 

Hey Miss Fitz

I had some neighbors renting the house right next door to me and they were the exact same way.

I would come in from work and they would be in the front yard w/ the kids and I would wave, try to establish some line of communication...nothing. VERY frustrating. and strange? I mean, I'm a shy person, but if we are going to live right next door to each other, I think we should at the very least know each others names.

So eventually I gave up, and they moved away over the summer, so its water under the bridge now.

If i were in your situation....I would probably do it. It will probably be really awkward at first but it could open the lines of communication and who knows, maybe they are really cool people, just keep to themselves in new situations. 

idonthavethis

Off topic, but do you think she knows the neighbors are doing this? I might be a weirdo, but I don't know if I'd eat food prepared by people I barely know. If my next door neighbor (the good side!) cooked us food, I would eat it, but not some randoms down the street.

KathrynMD

idonthavethis:

Off topic, but do you think she knows the neighbors are doing this? I might be a weirdo, but I don't know if I'd eat food prepared by people I barely know. If my next door neighbor (the good side!) cooked us food, I would eat it, but not some randoms down the street.

oh god, I don't know. ...

I can't think about it too much b/c honestly, I think its a weird tradition.  I had zero interest is eating a bunch of frozen casseroles right after DD was born and if her grown husband can't manage for himself and her for a few weeks - its weird.  Now, if they had a house full of kids, I could kinda how this is necessary.

SarahKate31

I think it's a nice idea, in theory. If I knew my neighbors well, I'd welcome the gift of frozen meals when I had a newborn. But...I don't know my neighbors well so it would be weird.

But in your case, I would probably still contribute. It may be a good way to break the ice with them.

Re: frozen meals in general...MIL and SIL brought over food after DS was born and it was a life saver.

madladybride

I'd probably call and ask more questions like, when are they doing this, what kinds of meals do they already have, does the "new" neighbor know they are doing this?

If I really didn't want to do it, I would use the it's-a-really-busy-week-for-me excuse or I would buy a frozen lasagne and be done with it.

I also think that unless I knew my neighbors, I probably wouldn't  eat anything they gave to me. While it's a nice gesture, people have different eating habits/allergies, etc.

I really liked having frozen casseroles, burritos, etc. around when DD was born. For the first 2 weeks, it was just DH and I since IL's live far away. I doubt either DH or I would have been able to fix dinner for ourselves. 

JennigoesUSA

I, personally, would not really want to eat food that came from people that I don't really know.  Honestly, I would not do it. Maybe a little "Congratulations" card but not a meal

vjcjenn1

My first thought was "yes you should do it" BUT they're probably going to toss it. I would probably try and think of something really good but store bought...maybe bagels (they can be frozen) or muffins from a bakery (not a grocery store) or maybe just a snack basket (nuts, dried fruit, granola)... and tell you neighbor (the organizer) you wanetd to do something different and have found through experience stuff like this is just as helpful as full cooked meals seems like less effort to do it this way, probably cheaper, and less likely to get tossed

vjcjenn1

on another note...I just wanted  to say, my husband definitely seems more popular with the neighbors then I, same deal with my parents and other couples I know...not sure why that is, maybe guys are just outside more???

misscastle

I'm generally friendly with my neighbors, but there's one I despise -- a couple weeks ago when we had a Christmas party (that we invited her to!! Put an invitation on her door!!!) on a Saturday night, she came outside at 9:45 and yelled at my husband and some of our friends who were sitting on our front steps and said "some of us have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning!"

9:45. On a Saturday night. Two weeks before Christmas. A party she was invited to (and did not acknowledge, for the second year in a row). 

However, my point is that if my other neighbors whom I'm friends with came to me and said "we're putting together this stuff for her because she just had a baby," I'd at least throw something in there. I would not put a lot of effort into it, but I would go across the street and grab some bagels or cookies or whatever. Always gotta be the nicer person (at least, that's how I feel). The karma will catch up in the end, I think.

weezie825

Yes, I would do it.  But I would buy something pre-made from a store or just give a G/C to a local place that delivers.

jcsntms06

weezie825:

Yes, I would do it.  But I would buy something pre-made from a store or just give a G/C to a local place that delivers.

I'm the others, if I didn't know the neighbors I don't think I would feel comfortable eating food from them, unless it was store bought. 

gracie2762

jcsntms06:

weezie825:

Yes, I would do it.  But I would buy something pre-made from a store or just give a G/C to a local place that delivers.

I'm the others, if I didn't know the neighbors I don't think I would feel comfortable eating food from them, unless it was store bought. 

Ditto. DH and I are really picky about casseroles and I can't imagine we would eat any of them. I would probably just go with some store bought baked goods.

linzee

gracie2762:

jcsntms06:

weezie825:

Yes, I would do it.  But I would buy something pre-made from a store or just give a G/C to a local place that delivers.

I'm the others, if I didn't know the neighbors I don't think I would feel comfortable eating food from them, unless it was store bought. 

Ditto. DH and I are really picky about casseroles and I can't imagine we would eat any of them. I would probably just go with some store bought baked goods.

this is me too

mrsbecky07

I don't have room to store that many frozen casseroles lol so for that reason alone I would toss them I think. Unless they are rotating so two people bring meals one week, two people bring meals the next, etc.

 At any rate - I would do it because I wouldn't want to be remembered as the neighbor who refused to participate in making meals for the new mom.  But I think it's weird to do it for someone that no one really knows or likes and who has lived there for several years.

glittergal73

I wouldn't make any efforts for someone who has been rude to me.  If they were nicer, of course I would though.