how to make him feel more masculine

catwine

last week my husband told me he was ha ving problems at work. long story short: he doesn't feel he fits in at work and doesn't have any friends there.  he said he feels inadequate at his job and didn't want to tell me becuase he is supposed to be the strong one (and i recently lost my job).

i'm doing my best to show him i love and need him...i cook for him, make sure the house looks good when he comes home, spend time with him, be physically close to him, etc.  i want to make sure he doesn;t feel that way again but i'm not sure how else to help. 

any suggestions?

minionlover

Did he tell you why he feels inadequate at work?  Is he new there?  Is it feasible to encourage him to look for a new or different job?

catwine

he has been there about 1.5 years.  he said he just doesn't feel like he is smart enough to be doing the tasks he does.  i told him he is becuase they had him training new people and supervising sites after a short time.  i've told him it's okay to look elsewhere but he doesn't know what else to do.  he is an environmental field technician and there aren;t a lot of job opps near us.

goatlady12

So he's had these feelings for a year and a half?  Or did something recently happen to make him feel this way?

I don't think there is anything you need to do for his masculinity. It sounds more to me like he needs to be more open with you.  With a new house/marriage he probably just didn't want to concern you with his feelings about work.

Really the best you can do is just remind him that you married him for a reason, and that you are in it together as a partnership. He doesn't have to carry burdens/fears by himself for fear of how you will react.  Just talking it out is about all you can do. 

minionlover

I am not sure there is much more that you can do besides be supportive and a good listener.  I totally agree with what Seipel said about talking through this.  Let him know that you don't look down on him because of the way he feels.  He probably just needs some encouraging.

mana8503

Sounds more like he needs a boost in self-confidence, then masculinity.  And honestly the only one that can do that is him.  You can encourage and support him, but he needs to feel confidence in himself and his work.