Married Life
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
so i'm probably being a wimp but...
For 3 years my husband and I have been fighting the difficult economy and now my husband has a job offer in another city. While I am excited and hope he gets the job, it has become kind of a realization that I am not only moving again (i was a military brat) but I am moving the farthest I have ever been away from family. I got used to living in a 30 minute to an hour radius from family. For the past 8 years, I have gotten close to my family and now I'm terrified of moving. I want him to get it and have every intention to go with him and be there for him. My husband knows how i feel but i still feel nervous about it. i don't ever want to tell him don't take the job but I am nervous. If you have ever faced this sort of situation what did you do to get rid of this fear?
Re: so i'm probably being a wimp but...
Not exactly where you're at yet, but we both want to move and are getting ready to look at jobs in other areas.
With today's economy, you unfortunately have to go where the jobs are. Once you get settled and start meeting some friends, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.
When my DH and I were engaged he got a job offer in Nebraska (we live and our families are in Michigan). I was so scared and sad. I told him I would go with him and support him but on the inside I felt like I was dying. I have never lived far away from my family. Luckly for me, the job wasn't what he was looking for and we weren't in need so he declined the job. Whew. I am sure we will be faced with a decision like this again someday as Michigan is not the best place for jobs.
Good luck in your situation. Whatever happens you will adapt.
While this isn't entirely the same...
I'm English and my husband is American. We live in Maryland... I moved from England to be with him and none of my family live here. It was one of the weirdest feelings - dumping half my stuff to make that kind of a move, leaving my family, my friends all having babies right now that I've never met - the hardest thing I've ever had to do but moving to be with my husband (then bf) felt natural.
More recently, he's been trying to get a job in Texas because of the crazy col out here. I never wanted to move to Texas but he's been talking about this since June so I've been gearing myself up for it. I'm petrified of making another huge move so soon (before this I only moved within the town we lived in) but things like lower col, ability to own rather than rent, less humidity in summer etc... I was focusing on all the things that were positive.
Incidently, its now happened that we might not get to go to Texas and I spent so many months telling myself it'd be good for us that the idea of staying has me petrified. We're trying for kids right now - if we stay, thats not an affordable option for a few more years - and early menopause runs in my family (my Mum was 32).
The fear never goes away completely. For me personally, I have to do research to fully prepare myself. I focus on the good things. Texas at least isn't the other side of the world... he's thinking about Australia in the next few years and I already haven't seen my family but once in two years.
Thank you all for sharing. I'm not going that far away but it does help to know that I'm not alone in the feelings.
OP you go where the money is & the best job opportunity. We left all our family and moved to FL this past year. I miss Texas more than I ever thought I would and my family. The best thing to do is get in the car and explore, try new food and meet people. You may learn to love your new place, I haven't yet but I haven't been her long.
To Amt, you may hate the summers in Texas but the people are really nice. Texas women love to shop and you will have more stores to choose from than you could imagine.
OP, I can sympathize. When DH and I started dating, I lived in Maine and he lived in NY (about an 8 hour drive) and ultimately I moved to NY because my part of Maine does not have a strong economy and DH was in law school. It was quite an adjustment to leave my family and friends. I became very resentful but at the end of the day, DH makes more money than me and I have the kind of job that I can do anywhere so it doesn't make sense to move to an area with a bad economy and have DH re-establish himself when he has a good job here.
I wish you the best!