Trouble in Paradise
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It is my first time posting on this board. I have been with my husband for almost 7 years. There are some things with our relationship that are starting to bother me. I know there are things that are bothering him. Nothing is unfixable yet, but if we want to be together forever some things have to change. We can communicate enough to say that we have a problem, but not well enough to fix them. One of our problems is that we have different communications styles. I have suggested therapy and while he thinks we don't need it, he is willing to go. I am having trouble finding a therapist that is in network on my health insurance. I'm totally willing to pay out of pocket for a service that will work, but I am not really sure how marriage counseling works and what happens, so I'm wondering if anyone has found success in therapy and is it worth it?
Re: Therapy
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
A really good book is by Dr. Gary Chapman called the Five Love Languages which address a variety of things that come up in different communication styles. I also highly recommend A Weekend To Remember my husband and I went 2 years ago and it really was a life changer. We both saw each other in a whole new light. Marriages are tough work but I am a big believer in the fact that they can indeed be saved.
http://shop.familylife.com/events_1.aspx?categoryid=97
I would start by making a list of qualities you like in him. Let him know you respect him and appreciate what he does for you. Do something kind for him.
Many prayers!
I am a therapist in NY. Not sure if you live there, but I can help you find someone. First thing, call your insurance. They will have a list of approved providers in your network. You can also use this site:
therapists.psychologytoday.com/
This is a site where therapist enter themselves, so most will have listed what insurance they take, if any. Some therapist offer a "sliding scale" meaning they will charge you based on your income, or what you state you can afford. This is usually done on an honesty policy.
Some therapist also don't take any insurance at all, which in some cases is better, because they are more flexible with fees.
Also keep in mind, if you go to a psychologist, you will pay more then if you go to a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) or a LMHC (licensed mental health counselor). Some providers may be listed as couples or family therapist as well, thought LCSW and LMHC are qualified to treat as well. Certain insurances will only pay for specific licenses of patients, so it may be out of your control.
You have the right to interview different providers to see who you think you both will click with the most.
Please email me if you have any more questions or I can help you in any further manner. Good Luck.