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Traveling Husband
Hey all! So I don't think I am the type to complain, but the last few months have been really tough. I look to my family and friends for support and advice, but no one is going through what my husband are going through. I figured there has to be other ladies out there who are going through the same thing, and I was looking for some support.
My husband and I got married on Septembr 15th 2012. The day after we got back from our honeymoon, I started my first full time "big girl" job. It has been such a blessing as I looked for a job for a long time. However, my husband's job has now sent him out of town for a long time. He has had this job for a year and spent 3 months in Maryland prior to our wedding. After we got married, he was told he will be in New Orleans for 6 months while I am in St. Louis. We get to see each other one time a month - either I go down there for the weekend or he comes home. This job ends in May, but then the next ones start up - all of which requires him to be hours and hours away.
I have tried to be strong. My job is stressful and with him being gone, I just feel so overwhelmed. I never thought we would start our married life with him staying in an apartment with a whole bunch of dudes, while I am home along in our cold apartment. People always tell me to just stay busy, but it is nights like these - a Monday after a long and hard day cooking a single serving meal by myself - those are the nights that are just so hard to handle.
He is super good guy and I am not at all worried about other women or him going down to beale street. What I am worried about is our sanity. I am lonely and turn to beer and cigarettes for comfort at night, which I know is the worst thing I can do. But I have lost my comfort, my husband, and I don't know how else to cope.
Ok that is my sob story. I know military wives go through this much worse than I have it. I was just looking to talk to wives who have to deal with the same type of situation.
Re: Traveling Husband
My H travels a lot for work and i actually really learned to like it
why do you only see each other 1x per month, why cant you make it 2xs (money?)
Sign up for a class at night, join a gym, volunteer at a hospital, get a dog, there are many things you can do. No, it wont take his place but it will keep you from stewing in it. Which will end up beign really bad for your relationship.
is this going to be a constant with his position?
So, what are you going to do for yourself in the evenings to keep you busy?
My husband is on OTR driver, so I can understand the long times from home.
What I've done to make things easier is I talk to him several times a day for a few minutes each time to feel connected. When he was training I asked him for at minimum a 20 minute call a day so I didn't feel forgotten. I've also gone to him when he stops in town for his rest period and we have a meal together.
I set up a once a week "date" with a friend. I would cook dinner and my friend would bring over two movies to watch. We would pick a theme for the movies to watch like musicals, cartoons, a certain actor, etc. My friend and I also work in the same industry so we can commiserate about work.
I chat once a week with my sister in law to have someone to check in with and it's nice catching up with her.
I also started crocheting at night while I watch TV. If the hands are busy then it's harder to smoke.
(I'm not a big drinker.)
My cat has been my solace as well. If nothing else taking care of her keeps me on a minor semblance of a schedule.
Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a good cry then getting some sleep. When you wake up it's like you get a clean slate to work with.
I hope some of this helps. If nothing else, know that this is temporary and time does go by faster than you think. Good luck!
what do you do for YOU? do you have any hobbies? play sports? any friends in town?
Yes, its fine that you miss him. That part sucks that he's far away all the time, but it is not hubby's job to keep your social calendar filled and you happy. YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Start acting like it!
go out with friends (or skype with them). start watching a good tv show (how i met your mother, and big bang theory are some lighthearted ones!). take up scrapbooking, or knitting, or some other hobby that you can do and feel good about. go for walks/runs around the neighborhood. learn new recipes. etc. Find something that you're passionate about and read about it, or volunteer somewhere.
bottom line - do something to make yourself happy. live YOUR life. don't sit around waiting for hubby. he'll come home when he can, and you'll have a great time telling him all of the exciting things you've been doing
maybe set aside a half hour or so every couple days to skype or call?
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