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He wants to wait... I don't
I have baby fever and my husband wants to wait. At one point I had mentioned that I wanted to have one or be pregnant when I am 30 and that somehow turned into the magical number. Right now I am 28 and 2 years feels like an eternity. I, like a lot of people, am scared that it could take a while and would like to come off of medicine and let my body get use to its own cycle. I just feel that there are so many steps first and just because I quit taking medicine does not mean I would be pregnant the next month.
My head knows there are various things with our house we want to accomplish first, but my heart won't stop aching for a baby. And it does not help that it seems like all of my friends are having babies too. I just feel a little alone in this, any suggestions?
Re: He wants to wait... I don't
I know this sucks, but get a hobby. One that is awesome! Live your life. Enjoy things you won't be able to do once there's a baby in the picture.
I've been playing this game for ~10 years now. First I needed to delay so I could finish a PhD. Then I was in a marriage I didn't want to bring kids into. Then I was single! Now I'm engaged and 32 and finally have a job/life/situation where we can get pregnant and TTC is only 6 months out, but this has been a LONG road.
If I'd spent the last 10 years biding my time I would have missed an ENTIRE DECADE and gone insane. Instead, get out and do things that are awesome. Do things that are hard. Do things you're proud of. Become someone even more amazing so when you have kids you can share those experiences/story/etc with them.
A hobby sounds great --- volunteering and getting your kid fix will help, too. Scads of after school programs are always in need of extra pairs of hands to help out.:)
Coach a kids' team,. mentor some kids, be a Girl Scout volunteer be a Big Sister. tha'ts to name a few.:)
I am saying this completely seriously. Offer to take a friend's toddler for the day and babysit. You'll be okay waiting longer by the end of the day.
Aside from that, stay busy and focus on anything not baby related.
Nearing 30 myself- I on/off desire to have kids I can understand. Your H and you both have to be on the same page on this, its not one against the other. Make a list of things, places like to visit, what $ you like to be, get the job you want, etc before having kids.
Enjoy your time together. Babysit your friends kids, families kids, etc and enjoy this time. Its not something you will get back after you have kids. You are still very young yet and have plenty of time.
I was 28 when we started TTC but my husband was totally for it and has been excited, I suggest getting off birth control but use condoms if you want your cycles to be regular and medicine to be out of your system, your husband should be on board 100%. Some women conceive right away, some don't (me for example). After a while, your friends having babies will not bother you as much, I suggest getting a hobby too in the meantime (while your husband comes around).
You will realize that friends/coworkers/relatives will be getting pregnant now or when you're 30, you just notice and care more right now because it's your desire/baby fever.
He does want to have kids right?
I would explain what your feeling to him. I would then perhaps work something out with him that in 6 months you will reevaluate having a baby.
Depending on how many you want and how close they are together ..not to be pushy but your time is ticking for healthy eggs- I would kindly remind him of this without being pushy. Something like..we want our babies to be healthy and evidence has shown that after 35 there are increased risks of many things.
Some may disagree with me on this but you need to get your point across without being pushy.
The more you talk about it with him the more he might get on bored.
Explain to him that in those six months you will get this and that project done.
ONe last thing-people can always find an excuse to not have kids..not enough money, not a big enough house, etc. While I def believe you should be financially stable you will find a way to make a baby fit in your life.
Goodluck!
So have you actually talked to him about it? Asked him why he wants to wait 2 years, or if he'd be willing to move up the timeline based on getting other things accomplished first?
Also, some ones mom will be VERY happy to have a free day! haha
This, exactly. It will be worth waiting when you have a husband who is equally excited and chomping at the bit for baby. Honestly, my husband's excitement and eagerness is what is making the harder aspects of my pregnancy easier to survive. You don't want to go through the process with a half-hearted or resentful husband.