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Softball game on Valentines day??
Okay, my hubby plays softball every Thursday in a league with all his boys. Cool, this is the night I usually go to happyhouir, dinner with girls whatever. It works well withus... BUT since Valentines day is on a Thursday this year, which I noticed, I told him and asked if they were going to play... I was actually hoping he'd say he would skip it and maybe do something with me. We jsut got married in Sept, so technically this is our 1st one as a married couple. I'm not a big fan of it, I mean, I would rather not go out, since its that one night where everyone does and I'd rather skip the crowds. But I would like to spend it with my hunny. Well, I mentioned them playing and he said he'd check.... Obvioulsy, I would rather have him want to skip on his own to be with me. I was wondering, should i keep my mouth shut and let him do what he wants or should I say something and tell him I want him to spend the evening with me??? The guys have skipped games for many reasons, so Iknow its not a big deal if he skips one game. I have been trying to keep my mouth shut for small things since I tend to speak my mind way way too much.. 
Its just me. when I have a prob, I usually voice it. I'm working on that... Suggestions??? Shoudld I just let him play and not say a word about it, and feel like softball is more important? Am I being selfish?? Opinions? Thanks!!1 B
Its just me. when I have a prob, I usually voice it. I'm working on that... Suggestions??? Shoudld I just let him play and not say a word about it, and feel like softball is more important? Am I being selfish?? Opinions? Thanks!!1 B
Re: Softball game on Valentines day??
So you are concerned there aren't other days you can devote ridiculous amounts if time together at over priced restaurants on a day created by capitalism? You want him to ditch his team, because you can't just plan to have an evening with him after the game? I think you need to work with what you got. Certainly the game doesn't last all night long! Work with what you got because asking him to quit on a commitment is a little selfish and petty. Especially since you are putting importance on a day that doesn't really mean anything.
Yes I'm married, yes my wife thinks like this as well
Okay, thanks. Was curious if I was being a brat. I guess so. Its not the going out that I wanted, it was just the time. When he does play, its an all night process basically. He gets home from work, changes and usually has hardly much time for anything that night, other than the game. Then he gets home and gets ready for bed, he works hard and gets up early, so after the game isn't an option.
I didn't want to go out that night, and i told him already to not waste money on flowers that day since they are a waste of money, overpriced! I was hoping he'd stay home and try to cook me dinner, or some other silly romantic gesture. He NEVER cooks, he has once and it was awesome, Just knowing he cooked, I loved it!!!
I can understand wanting to stay in and make dinner and cuddle up or whatever. If you can't do it on actual Valentine's Day maybe do it on the weekend instead. My husband and I have often had to work on Vday so we have celebrated the weekend after a few times over the years.
We make a big deal of our anniversary and Vday is just kinda whatever. But I can see at least wanting to watch a movie or something together. Don't fret about the day you celebrate it on. =]
"A women who can kneel before the Lord can stand up to anything"
I don't think you're being selfish. If you were selfish you'd be in here ranting and raving that your husband didn't automatically say he'd stay home with you without checking the schedule.
My husband plays on a few softball teams so, I know how it is wondering if the schedule will conflict with things. Summers can be rough for us scheduling things like vacation, camping and every day activities because he plays 3 times a week. So, I completely get why you're asking this.
I'd be willing to bet they don't actually have a game scheduled that day. Usually, the game is pushed out to the following week or another day when it falls on a holiday. I'm not sure how important Valentines is with the softball scheduling committee but it's not out of the question that there isn't a game scheduled.
That said, since V day isn't really important to you like you said I'd just let it go if there is a game that day. Celebrate another day or if you do want to spend it together you could always go and watch his game. I know my husband likes it when I go to his games so it might be a nice gesture on your part.
You're all over the place and contradicting yourself. So just stop.
What do you want to do that day? Do you want him to stay home and you guys make dinner together? Then say that to him.
Would you rather go out to dinner on Friday? Then say that to him.
Waiting around for the guy to pull this magical trick out of his ass is just going to cause a fight between you. If you want something, you say it. If you don't care, then say you don't care. And MEAN it. Otherwise, you're just playing head games.
My husband works a 4pm - 2am shift so we won't be going anywhere or doing anything that evening. We'll probably do something another day. To me, the day doesn't matter.
But then, I'm also the person who thinks that Valentine's Day is made-up by card, candy and flower companies to make people spend tons of money on over-priced stuff because the 3 months between Christmas and Easter was just too long without a holiday to make money on.
But you are. "I wish he'd just want to stay home. I wish he'd just surprise me." You're going to end up disappointed when you start thinking that way.
Decide what you want. Say it to him and truly mean it.
Don't go down the "Of course, you can go play softball!" and be inside thinking "I just wanted him to stay home and cook dinner" road because it will only lead to bad places.
Valentine's Day is a big deal to me and DH goes all out, not because he cares about the day, but because I let him know it matters to me.
Ignore pp saying it's a man made holiday and it's just one day, blah blah blah..... That's how they feel and it works for their relatioinships but obviously you care and don't be ashamed of it. Tell your husband how you feel and I would hope that he could skip a game for you one night and if not, then set a different day that you two can do something special.
I know your hopes were that he would want to skip on his own, but let that go. That type of thinking just makes one sad. Men don't always think like us. Just tell him how you feel.
TTC since September 2012
Valentine's Day might not be important to other ppl, but if it is important to you and you feel that it should be significant because it is your first as a married couple, then let him know that. I used to be guilty of what one of the PP stated about saying that I wish DH would do such and such, but I would not mind if he did what he wanted. Then I would be mad later. Your DH is not a mind reader, just tell him exactly what you want him to do.
You do know that this a holiday started by greeting card companies, right?
I think you sound a little immature.
My husband is horrible at Valentine's Day. He thinks he's exempt from it because his birthday is the day after...
But if you want something specific (him to cook, an evening together), you're best off specifically asking him for that. "For Valentine's Day, I want __________." Guys don't take hints and they can't read minds.
Other than that, you should be thinking about what you're going to do for HIM for Valentine's Day... I just got my husband some candy and a card. And I'm going to give it to him before work so that he doesn't come home empty handed like last year.