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I should spice it up...suggestions?
Soooo I need to put some more effort into my married sex life.
I get that plenty of people are into porn, but it?s never really played a role in my sexual repertoire. I know my now-H looked at porn from time to time during our relationship, although it turns out that leading up to/following our wedding he has been looking at it on the regular. He kept it a secret. That was a surprise, and I have to say a disappointment, to me. I always imagined being a newlywed (and living together for the first time) being a heightened time sexually. For me, the safety/comfort/security of being in a marriage is a huge turn-on?so I?m disappointed that maybe I haven?t been fulfilling him sexually like I thought I was. Maybe he just finds porn easier than putting the effort into full-on sex. I really don?t know how he experiences porn since we haven?t shared it together, and I haven?t really ventured into porn myself. From a woman?s perspective, does porn do anything for you? For your relationship? Good/bad? Regularly/special occasions?
Anyway, I find our sexual relationship to be very satisfying, and now I?m not sure what to think about his satisfaction. He certainly doesn?t complain and if I ask him about his satisfaction level with our sex life he still has no complaints to vocalize? We use toys and things. I also have a bunch of lingerie that I never wear because he says he prefers nakedness and skin-to-skin, lol?so that?s a waste at the moment. But I think he just doesn?t realize that he?d like if I dressed up and made the whole experience a little hotter, especially since guys are so visual.
So I can foresee that lots of people would respond to this by saying ?talk to your H about it??but like I said, when I do, he doesn?t have any input. I guess he?s shy about it?so any advice on how to get H to open up? I?m very vocal and will talk about anything?I just don?t know how to get him to really be open about his fantasies and desires. I guess I?ll just have to get him drunk and start asking/trying things? lol.
Also, any input on how to give an exceptionally good BJ or just sexual experience to your H? We?ve been together for some years and, I have to admit, my H is always very concerned with my sexual satisfaction, so I?ve gotten used to that. I feel like I do the same routine little tricks for him. He deserves something a little spicier from me and I need ideas! Anyone?s husband really love some little trick that you do? Share it with me, please!
Re: I should spice it up...suggestions?
Well the fact that your husband looks at porn does not mean you aren't satisfying him. My DH looks at porn. I look at porn. Sometimes together, sometimes alone. It has nothing to do with how we feel about our sex life together. I personally go with porn and masturbation when I want the release without having to think about another person and whether or not they're happy. Easy, simple, selfish maybe. But fun and a necessary part of life for me.
As far as the talking thing. Some people just aren't comfortable. DH and I have a great sex life. I'm adventurous and not embarrassed when we're doing things but I need a drink or two in me to talk about things. I'd personally just start trying stuff and see where it goes.
Taking the initiative if you don't already is a good one. Sending him sexy texts through the day is another.
And as for porn, I'm not super into it, but I can tell you that the best ones to start with are parodies. There's Breakfast Club, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, etc.
-There's also a porno movie and a sequel (about Pirates) that have million dollar budgets, so the special effects aren't that bad. If you're too shy to dive into 'internet porn', I'd try the parodies first. Go to youtube to check out the PG-rated trailers.
Hubby looks at porn, it's not because our time together in bed isn't getting him going. Same when I look at porn. Sometimes the other person isn't at home, isn't in the mood or whatever the reason. We've watched porn together and it's not a big deal. Try being the agressor, the one who gets things started. Guys seem to like when a woman takes charge every so often.
Some guys watch it a lot, some don't. It probably has nothing to do with you. But I love to watch it with my husband.
There's nothing wrong with porn. I watch porn. You need to tell him you don't mind him watching porn. And try watching with him. Xhamster, YouPorn are all free sites. =]
What do you generally do now? We don't know what you should spice it up if we don't know what you're doing already!
Try buying new toys. Give him a BJ while he's watching porn...
On giving good BJs: Use your hand along with your mouth. Use your other hand to touch his balls and under his balls. Lots of spit. You can use more pressure with your hand than you think you can. Try swallowing/deep throating, it may take practice. Some guys like it when you hum, but I think it sounds too dorky, just put music or the tv on if you try it.
Take videos of yourselves! It's fun to go back and watch them. Or send him vids/pics of yourself throughout the day when he's at work.
?Your truth is different from my truth. And we?re both right.?