DH's Hyperactivity/ADD

nataliebisson

My DH is going to the Dr's tomorrow to hopefully get something for hyperactivity/ADD. He's been struggling with this for years and it has really impacted our marriage. His inability to sustain attention on a task (including spending time with me or DD) has caused a strain between us. I thought for years that I was the problem (being overbearing, nagging etc), meanwhile his ADD was the cause or majorly contributed to of a lot of our arguments. He only told me six weeks ago about the ADD (which so far is self-diagnosed).

Does anyone else have a partner who struggles with this? I would like someone to talk to who can relate and maybe give advice and tell me where I can find support as the spouse. I don't know what to expect from treatment and I'm nervous that treatment won't work, and I'm trying to be patient with him while he struggles to get through this.

meichler85

I feel your pain. My husband has been dealing with this (undiagnosed) for years. I've been trying to encourage him to go to the doctor about it and I think he's finally coming around to it. He has trouble focusing on his school work and he'll randomly get really hyper and in my face to the point of me getting so annoyed that I start yelling at him, and he still has trouble stopping. And he'll come to me later and apologize. I think it has also impacted his ability to help me around the house with cleaning and cooking because he forgets what he is doing. It hasn't impacted us so severely that it is a major strain on our marriage but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here!

doglove

I think you need to be open and honest with your feelings at all times about how his behavior affects you. That being said, I would suggest some marital counseling to help communicate more effectively. Hopefully a talk with his doctor and perhaps the right medication can help. 

Do you go to individual counseling? That may not be a bad idea.