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Going to kill the cats!!
I hate our cats!! I had 2, a boy and a girl, and my husband has one boy. Since he moved in 10 months ago, both boys are pissing all over the house! They also fight all the time still which even resulted in a $300 surgery to put the face back on one of them. Instead of getting better, it's worse. All three are neutered. My two have never urinated in the house. His cat has always been an occasional/once a month kind of pisser.
Our house is not very big, and most of it is shut off to cats (I don't want piss/cat hair in our bedroom or the baby's nursery, and I got sick of climbing behind the bathtub, so they aren't allowed in there). I spend 2-4 hours a day every day cleaning up cat urine. I'm 8 months pregnant, and about to not have time for it anymore. I have tried everything. I clean up the urine as soon as I find it. I've used water bottles, Nerf guns, getting to the point where I just toss them outside... One cat is chewing the weather stripping off the door trying to get in as we speak and the other is pissing on my car tires. Nice.
I try to reinforce them positively through play and treats also (another 1-2 hours a day on top of the time I spend cleaning). They have separate litter boxes. There is no way to separate the cats in this house, as our bathroom is very tiny and has no room for a litter box and I'm not sacrificing my child's room to them. I'm sick of them. Nothing is getting better, it's only getting worse. I would leave them outside to live forever and just feed them out there and deal with pee-covered tires, but we live in a city neighborhood and it's just not nice to the neighbors, also it is a very cold corner of the world and temperatures have not been higher than 25 degrees for the past month.
This baby is coming soon and if this doesn't stop before he's here, the two boys have to go (the girl is fine, we love her). I hate to have them put down or force them to live outside, but those are about the two options we have left. Nobody wants cats like these. I was a firm believer that when you adopt an animal, it's for life, but I didn't anticipate it to be a 40 hour/week job with overtime. Their fighting is also getting nastier, and we can't afford any more surgeries.
We are also risking losing our home over this. They are destroying the carpet and furniture, and we are renters. I bought a $600 carpet in August, and it already looks 5 years old from being cleaned with a carpet cleaner almost daily. My friends reassure me over and over that it doesn't smell like urine, and my landlord hasn't noticed yet, but if she knew how much they were urinating, we wouldn't have a place to live.
I've thought about making his cat disappear and telling my husband that he ran away, but I can't bring myself to do it because I love my husband too much and can't stand to lie to him. Something has to give. I used to love my cat, but this is getting absolutely ridiculous.
Any other solutions? Might just save these cats' lives.
Re: Going to kill the cats!!
We are dealing with the same thing. I had a girl and boy prior to us buying our house last year. Since we moved in it's like they will be good for a few weeks and then BAM..they do it.
It's primarily him that's doing it because he's had crystals in his urine and couldn't get around for about 3 months which the doctors figured it out. The antibiotics helped him and he's better now. And she'll do it to be spiteful.
They were doing so much better but then this past Monday one of them went on the carpet outside of our bedroom. And FI found it when he got home. Put it like this if it there wasn't snow on the ground they would both be outside.
My advice is to try to separate them in a bathroom and see if that helps. Another solution is to take them to the vet and make sure they don't have a bladder problem, although it seems like they are being territorial.
Thanks! But I am sure that it's not a bladder thing. They have both been on rounds of antibiotics for fighting injuries. I have separated them by putting one in the bathroom, but our bathroom is VERY small and there's not even room for a litter box. Plus, they pee in the corner behind our clawfoot bathtub and it's really hard for me to reach back there being so pregnant.
The only other room is a carpeted mudroom where we do laundry, but this is a shared area with the other tenant and they do it out there, too. We are in a long term lease (I've been here for 5+ years now), and really don't want to lose this place. Homeless with three cats and a baby does not sound ideal. I'm about ready to toss them both outside for good, snow, wind, 8 degrees and all, but then they piss on our car, and the neighbors' cars! I've been tempted to duct tape their tails to their tummies. I'd hate to rehome them or put them down, but between the vet bills for their injuries, getting up twice a night to break up fights, and spending all day cleaning up after them for ten months, I don't see any other option. I've had it.
They're both getting baths tonight, together. We'll see if getting them both smelling the same helps. At least they won't be stinky anymore.
I understand being frustrated with this issue, seeing as I'm currently dealing with a similar thing with our three cats and a foster, but there is no need to be so extreme as to make one of the cats "disappear." Especially when one is your husband's beloved pet. That's just so completely horrible and wrong. Also, pets are like having kids and are a full-time responsibility. They don't work on a 9-to-5 Mon-Fri schedule nor are they stuffed animals that are just supposed to sit there or anything like that. This shouldn't be a surprise.
I work at a cat rescue and I can guarantee that if they came to our rescue they would find separate, loving homes (that didn't have other cats). Someone would adopt them. It's rather upsetting that you think your only options are to force them to live outside (where they can get run over, continue to fight, they could freeze to death, contract illness, etc) or to literally kill them for the sake of convenience. Also, just dumping them outside can be considered a form of abandonment and the Humane Society or other animal group could get called about it.
You do realize that they are peeing on everything as a way of marking their territory and are fighting because they feel the other is in their space, right? Have you tried separating them in such a way that each one gets their own "territory?" It sounds like you are limiting so much of your home to be "cat-free" that the cats are forced to be around each other all the time and have no where else to go to get away from one another. That will, in fact, escalate the fighting.
We had to separate our tabby girl and our foster to the point that our cat gets the downstairs and the other cat gets the upstairs. Our other two get along just fine with everybody. Our tabby still causes fights and pees on everything (especially the furniture). Separating them so they each have their own space helped lower the frequency of fighting and the urinating on things. It still happens, but not as much as it used to. They've even gotten to the point where they can sit in the same room and not immediately get into a fight.
As a way of trying to fix the issue, my husband and I stopped the cat fights as soon as they started or we would prevent them by either startling them (run at them, throw something, make a loud noise, etc.) or by spraying them with water if they even started growling at each other. Eventually they decide that they dislike getting sprayed with water or chased or whatever more than they hate the other cat.
If none of that works, you could try getting advice from a knowledgeable staff member at your local animal shelter or cat rescue. They'll have all sorts of other tips and may have someone that can help with your situation at your home. You'll also gain a possible contact at the shelter in case you choose to give the cats up and can't find homes for them on your own.
Try to have some patience with it. Yes, it takes forever for them to deal. Yes, you have to clean up messes (you're going to constantly have to do that with your kid, too, you know). Yes, it is extremely frustrating, but that's part of your job as a pet parent is dealing with all the insanity, good and bad, that comes along with having pets.
If you really can't handle it, you might need to sit down with your husband and discuss maybe giving them away to loving, more suitable and separate homes.
I completely agree with kangjisook! Working in a vets office, I see this all the time and it is incredibly frustrating.
Google Feliway and check out their products. It may not work for your cats but it also might work. It's a pheromone diffuser that realizes 'happy smells' into the home and will hopefully relax the cats to the point where they aren't peeing and fighting anymore. Your cats are probably incredibly stressed out and the stress organ in the cat is the bladder so they are expressing to you how they feel. They aren't doing it to be a-holes, they want their own territory and they are stressed out about it. It might be better for the cats if they didn't live in your home but had their own separate homes where they can relax and be happy for once.
Looks like this is a sad case of 2 cats just not getting along.
I'd hate to use the "R" word but you'd hate to see another incident happen where one or both of the cats gets another injury that's not a minor one.
If you do have to rehome the cats, maybe find homes for them where the cats will live with people you know. This way you know where the cats are living and maybe you can stop in and say hi every once in awhile.
Put them down or make them live outside, no. Rehoming is a far better idea.
Sorry for your troubles.
Thanks for your help! We've been very open to rehoming one or both of them, but unfortunately, there is a very high cat population here and it's very hard to find a good home for grown cats. The animal shelters have been too full to take more cats for as long as I've lived here, and even if they would take them, I could not subject either one of them to living in a 2x2 box for the rest of his life. None of our friends or family members are interested in taking one... Then again, they've all been in our home and seen what they do.
The last injury the one sustained was definitely not minor, he lost half his face and now has a really horrendous scar that makes rehoming even more difficult. I am concerned about the safety of the cats as well as the safety of our home... not sure how much of a fire hazard it is if they pee in our ungrounded electrical outlets? They've hit within a couple inches of one of them. It's beyond an inconvenience, they are doing it 6-8 times a day. The running tab for vet bills and property damage is nearing $1000. I gladly clean up after any normal pet messes, even my boy's hobby of dragging a new roll of TP down the stairs and through the house, chewing it to pieces all the way, but this is getting to be too much.
I wish we could separate them, but pregnancy has caused me to have new allergies, and keeping one in the bedroom is not an option, because cat hair on the bed or in my clothes makes me break out in hives and rashes now, on top of their tendency to piss in the closet on my clean clothes (it has no door). And I just don't feel like it's healthy or safe to have my newborn baby share sleeping space with cats...
Have you had any luck with the scents? I've tried the opposite, that stuff that's supposed to keep cats away from things, and it doesn't do much but stink up the house more. I would really just like to see them coexist without trying to kill each other or pissing 6 times a day, but after so long and trying so many things, it's starting to feel like that just isn't going to happen. We're running out of ideas. We'll have to try the scents. The only other thing I can think of that we haven't tried on them is drugs... but that's really expensive, and goes against our ethics.
I wish we had a bigger house where they could have more space, but we live in the biggest rental we can afford and it's going to be at least a couple years before we're ready to buy. I've considered moving to give them more space, but anything in our price range is less ideal than what we have now. Here, at least we have a yard and a two story home...
In my experience, it's usually not a good idea to have two male cats living in close proximity with each other because they're so territorial.
I agree with PP that you need to make your home more open to the cats instead of just restricting them to one tiny area where they'll be forced to spend time with each other.
Cats who are neutered usually urinate on things besides the litter box because of stressful changes in their environment because cats don't like change and often respond negatively to it. Some of the changes that can cause the cats to become stressed is moving to a new home, the arrival of a new pet, or the arrival of a baby or infant and you've got two out of three going on. You need to try to de-stress the cats by showing them that they aren't bad and by playing with them on a regular basis. Try putting up some cat towers and buy some toys, and also try to keep the two males separated and see if that helps.
If you do decide that you absolutely must rehome one or both of the cats, I would recommend placing them in a no kill animal shelter. No kill shelters don't kill the animals placed with them and if they run out of room in the shelters, the animals are placed with fosters until they can make room or someone becomes interested in adopting the animals. If you're interested in placing the cats in one of these shelters, you can find one nearby -- if you live in the states -- on this website:
http://www.nokillnetwork.org/
Hope this helps!
All I see above is a bunch of excuses - I can't, I won't, I wouldn't - you've managed to give yourself an excuse for everything except kill or abandon. Do you really think killing one/both of them is better than the cat living in a kennel until a home can be found?
Get over your excuses, buckle down, and find one of them a home - a friend, coworker, neighbor, foster. Once the enemy is removed the territorial behavior will calm.
BFP 11.8.12 * EDD 7.17.13 * MC 12.20.12
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over!
It makes me so sad that the advice on the board now is an overwhelming "rehome".
OP, how many litter boxes do you have in your home? Are they getting cleaned daily? I believe they recommend two boxes for each cat.
I have heard wonderful things about the Feliway diffusers, however they can take a month to kick in so please be patient with them during that transition. I am hoping some of the old cat people pop in to give you some more tips.
1) Yet another recommendation for Feliway diffusers. They only cover a certain square footage, so get enough for all the spaces your cats occupy. And give them time to work! A month to kick in fully, then keep them strong by replacing with new ones every month.
2) Rescue Remedy in all cat water dishes. This can be a more immediate calming solution, though it doesn't work for everyone.
3) The book Cat vs Cat. If you didn't properly introduce them and give them time to adjust to the other cat's presence on their own, you will never have an end to the problems. Separate them and reintroduce them S-L-O-W-L-Y as if they've never met before.
Space can be found, you just have to make the effort. There are girls here living in less than 900 square feet who manage to keep animals separated from each other when necessary. Buy dog crates if nothing else. That way the cats can be kept in the same room, but separated in kennels large enough that they can move around...litter box at one end, comfy cozy bedding at the other, take one out at a time for play and exercise. This arrangement can work until the cats are reintroduced and no longer fighting.
IF you exhaust all these efforts, then and only then could I maybe see a case for rehoming 1 of the cats. If removing 1 male cat resolves the issues, there will be no reason to rehome both.
Finally: make sure every single pee spot is cleaned with an ezymatic cleaner left to soak in and do its job before being blotted back up. Nature's Miracle or Got Pee are big on this board and really do work. The cats will continue to pee in spot where they can smell they've peed before (they can smell it even if you can't). Get a black light if you need to ferret out spots you can't readily find on your own.
And STOP with the negative language about kicking them outside in freezing weather and duct taping their tales to their bellies! That is sickening, and I'd have smacked you upside the head if you'd said those things in my presence. They're ANIMALS. They behave this way when they are upset and stressed out, and you're not doing anything to lessen their stress by leaving them in the same small area. If nothing else, I'd have gotten a Rx from my vet by now for anti-anxiety meds!
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
I second and third everything LuckyAngel said, and add on feliway calming collars for all cats.
Also, provide high places for them. Cats like to be high and it can lessen stress levels to be up there.
Watch a few episodes of "My cat from hell" and get some tips. He's a smart man.
LOVE YOUR POSTS!!! SPOT ON and very informative!!
I agree with this totally.
But, I think you just need to rehome one of the males. That's being responsible. I know it's frustrating, but you're thinking of throwing them outside, purposely trying to lose your husbands cat (why not your male, huh?), taping tails down, etc. You're talking about animal abuse, essentially.
For your sake, your family, your carpet, get rid of one of them. You're stressing the animals out, and yourself. Or, take the time and go with the above advice I quoted.
?Your truth is different from my truth. And we?re both right.?