it hurts

aaronsgrl23

whenever my bf and i have sex it hurts and that drives me away from having it.i thought i was cause we did not have it often enough,but even when we had it twice a week it still hurt.

culinarydl

If this is not a usual thing for you then it may be a yeast infection. If it hurts everything get checked for interstatal cystitis. I have that and it hurts to have sex and then burns after. What happens is the lining on my bladder is raw and it is essentially "poked" during sex.  Do you have any pain other times. Like if you have to hold in your pee?  

nella15

I used to have that problem when me and my husband first got together.

twice a week might not be enough, it took a whole wee for us.

Or you might have a mental/emotional block to it wither you realize it or not, as soon as we got married it hasn't hurt since.

Or you may just not be stimulated enough, true and use some lube if y'all aren't already

gigglegurl35

Sometimes it means you don't have enough lubricant, try using that and it works wonders, cause that can sometimes cause burning which hurts. It could also be that your really tight. Try going slow or different positions can help too?

anssett

foreplay. Then more foreplay. Then lots of lube. No 'quickies' for at least 3 months to give you a chance to really enjoy all that foreplay.

watercoloursgrey

I had this problem for a bit, too.  Found out that I had an autoimmune skin disorder called lichen sclerosis in my vaginal walls.  When treated, everything's fine, but it might be something to look into if you haven't found a conventional answer.

TarponMonoxide

It's very difficult to say what the pain may be from.

As a pp pointed out it could be interstitial cystitis, or a yeast infection --- or it could be vaginisimus, not enough lube, not enough foreplay or a position he insists on that's nothing but painful for you.

We are figuring the pain is vaginal; is it? Maybe it's elsewhere and you aren't specifying?

What you need to do:

See your gyn and tell him/her what you told us. Investigation is warranted.

sdebroy

I had the same problem.  It turned out that I had vestibulitis, which is inflammation of the vaginal wall.  I was treated with surgery, but the scarring initially made it worse.  I found a special physical therapist for women's issues, who helped to relieve the adhesions and scarring which now makes it much better.  Sometimes still have pain with quickies or when we go for long periods without but it is still immensely better than it was.  You are not alone.  I suggest you discuss your issues with your ob/gyn.  She can help you sort it out as their are many pathological reasons to have painful sex that can be treated.  If she brushes you off, find another gynecologist

voice49

I also was diagnosed with lichensclerosis a few years ago which then in turn caused vulvodynia, a pain syndrome that causes sex to be painful. I saw a vulvar dermatologist who prescribed a steroid ointment and physical therapy to treat pelvic pain - and although I still go through flare-ups every now and then it definitely helped me. Using a dilator before intercourse is great too. And I use Sea Buckthorn oil every night before i go to bed - it does amazing things for my skin and helps with lubrication.

SarahM0729

 I'm sorry to hear you're having this problem.  My husband and I are newlyweds and we've been struggling with this for a couple years now.  He's the only person I've been with sexually and the pain is just too much.  We have found ourselves in this vicious cycle of not wanting to do it (fear of the pain for me and the fear of hurting me for him).  I've been thinking of seeing a therapist to get rid of this mental block of anxiety.  My doctor has told me that I'm healthy and nothing appears to be wrong in that area.  

 

Any suggestions or ideas?  I'm thinking we have have to try more often and have more foreplay.  That seems to be the consensus on here! 

letzgoracing81

Did you have this problem with other sexual partners or is it just him?  I think that is very important bit of information.   If this is something that has happened with all you sexual experiences (different partners) it is very likely a physical issue with your body.   If all your OTHER sexual experiences have been pleasant....but you are running into issues with pain with this boyfriend ONLY....then you might want to look at how things are going on a sexual level.

I know this is personal....but is he bigger than you are use to?  It can take time to get used to someone who is larger then normal.   Is there enough foreplay?  Are you using lube to help things move um....smoothly?

If this has been an ongoing issue with ALL your sexual partners you might want to see a Dr about this and find out if things are ok for you.

If this is an issue with ONLY your boyfriend he might need to UP his foreplay and start slowly with penetration only AFTER he has you very ready.

stillinlove18

Pain during sex is way more common than people realize.  You may have something called Vaginismus, which is totally able to be overcome.  It takes dedication and focus, but its very doable.  Check out www.vaginismus.com. 

And PS, sometimes people place a lot of focus on the idea that you have something in your past that is making you afraid of sex and you need to address that issue before you can move forward.  While that may be the case for some people, others simply get vaginal spasms (the same way a person might get a back spasm or hold tension in their neck).  It DOES NOT mean you are crazy. 

This is a real thing and there many good OB/GYNS who can point you in the right direction. If your doctor doesn't have experience with it, find someone else who does.  Good luck!