Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dramatic Decrease in Sex
So husband and I have been married seven months, and we have sex once or twice a month. It is not a libido problem on my part--I'm up for sex almost anytime. When I bring it up to him, he just says that he's busy or tired from school or i look tired from work, etc etc. I am almost never too tired for sex, and would like to have it at twice a week or more. I've tried lingerie, naked sleeping, and others. It has been this way even since honeymoon. We had sex three times on a week long honeymoon.....Advice?
Re: Dramatic Decrease in Sex
Get a divorce
Sounds like a phase the 2 of you are going through.
Passion waxes and wanes. There'll be days where you're like animals and days when you want no sex at all.
You can pick up the ball: jump in the showet with him, jump his bones when he comes home from work, invite him into the shower with you or make up a nice wam bath and invite him in.
Stop giving terrible advice! The best advice for you is to get a divorce
This. It sounds like he is in school and possibly working as well. Stress dramatically impacts a person's sex drive. If it gets to the point where it is an issue, talk to him.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
You agree with her advice?! Fock you then!
He is in school, but not working. I am working though. In repsonse to the "you pick up the ball" comment, thank you for the tip, but I have had the ball and it just keeps getting knocked out of my hands. If I make a move when he comes home or maybe after dinner, it's rejected. And shower jumping has been denied also.
In response to whomever keeps responding with "Divorce", I married him with the intention of staying so. A rough patch in sexual relations is NOT worth getting divorced over. If I weighed everything so heavily, nothing in my life would have ever worked out. So please, stop suggesting it. It is not an option for us.
Get a divorce anyway
Yeah, OP, maybe ya ought opt out for that trip to Reno. That's where ya go for a quickie divorce, right?
I do not know, I never been married
Just curious.
None of your focking business
Ok.....got some drama on this thread.
Anyway....to address your issue. I wouldn't jump right on the divorce wagon....but still...this issue isn't likely to go away or fix itself.
You need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and straight up tell him your needs are not being met. Seriously....use those words "My needs are not being met" He needs to understand what is going on in your head, and how rejected you are left feeling when he declines all the flippin' time!
Make a pregnancy ticker
I had a similar issue, that actually started before we got married. The parts worked but his libido was just almost gone...
it took me some time but we always talked about it and finally he realized that something was not right, whether it be medical or psychological, we actually just went to the doctors today to start the process in first making sure it isn't something hormonal or something else. If that all checks out he's agreed to see someone.
Mind you my husband is 11 years older than me, and I expected our sex drives to not be exactly on the same page.
I strongly suggest that you just keep talking to him about it and make sure you're saying in a way that isn't threatening or making him feel like *** (even though he will think so anyway) you need to make sure he knows that you're looking out for his interest and want to make sure everything is okay, whether physically or mentally.
Good luck, I wish you the best, I hope you can get him to open up to you about what might be going on.