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Is this appropriate?
My husband has a lot of FB friends and Twitter friends. He is an extremely social person, however I find that he likes to make friends with a lot of females (men too but far more female). I have also noticed that a lot of the females are young (20-somethings), while my husband is in his late 40s. He refers to them as his "virtual friends".
I have two main issues;
1) he is always online tweeting and on FB (mostly Twitter). I joke around that I am a Twitter widow, but I've now gotten to a point that I think his online time is excessive and I feel really lonely a lot of the time.
2) he gives his personal cell number out to some of these "virtual" female friends and exchanges text messages with them. He sometimes even makes plans to meet up for drinks, etc. The other day I found him texting with a female that he had listed in his phone under a phony male name.
Personally, I don't see why he needs to exchange phone numbers with females and make plans for drinks when he is married with a newborn at home. But he says he wants to be social. Is that appropriate? Do other women mind if their husbands cultivate new female relationships with younger women?
The other issue is the listing of the female in the phone under a phony male name. He said it is because he knows that I don't like him having lots of female friends, etc. I think that is a bunch of BS and feel like he is hiding something.
Thoughts?
Re: Is this appropriate?
If it waddles like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck.
I can't imagine being an internet/social network/twitter widow, but then we are a lot older than you and your husband. I spend a lot of time online, but also don't have a baby, and am not ignoring my husband. I also don't make "dates" with "virtual friends".
Bring up with your husband that this bothers you. Have some discussions when your baby is asleep. I'd stop trying to obtain information from his phone or internet accounts, and simply get the discussion out of the way. If he starts to sound defensive, or accuses you of being unnecessarily jealous, get some counseling. You have a child to think of, and a life to make with a real husband, not virtual friends.
If he's feeling trapped by your marriage and time just spent at home, get a baby sitter and go out as a couple. He's replacing something that he feels is missing, and socialization can be joint, not just him.
Good luck.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72059806.aspx
How else do you expect him to find other women to sleep with?
not appropriate for married men to be friends with women on a personal, private level. you should always be included and know what is going on. if he cannot be open then yes he may be cheating even if it is emotionally.
get to counseling now and make sure you have access to his accouts and discus these "fake" friendships with him
find some couple friends to be with.
He wants to be social? Get off the f*cking internet and join a club or two then! He does not want to be social. He wants sex with younger women. If he wanted to make friends he would join a club that had similar interests as him and make an effort to be social.
Based on this post and the other post about if you should leave him or not it seems like your decision on divorce is your best option.
I don't understand how one is "social" if the only socializing they do is from behind a computer. That's not socializing. It's called being a troll.
Unplug the computer, put down the iPhone, and tell your husband to get up, get a hobby, and get a life.
My husband is a member of a bowling league, a fishing club, a running club,and a motorcycle club. His friends range in age from early 20s to early 50s, both male and female. And I have never once been uncomfortable with any of his online or IRL activities, but then again, he never gives me reason to distrust him.
Her H has a hobby. He sleeps with the women he meets online.
Okay, seriously, why are you acting like he's just social and maybe slightly shady when you know damn well he's actively cheating on you and has been all along?!