Sex & Romance
TarponMonoxide
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
We had a DD --- the pastor's wife whose H won't do it
Gee, way to go.
WHYYY do they even ask for advice???
"Husband Not Interested In Sex" was the title of the post.
Anybody save it? Just wondering.
Either we pissed her off or she was afraid Big Daddy would see it and then she yanked the entire post.
Re: We had a DD --- the pastor's wife whose H won't do it
On the off chance, maybe she was afraid Big Daddy would see it but wow, in that case, make up an alias and use another account he won't know about.:(
The cliff notes:
He is a pastor; they are religious.
Sex was great on their honeymoon but once they got back to home base, nothing. They have not had sex in 7 months and they are married 2 years.
He can't seem to ejaculate and he pumps away for 20 minutes at a time.
She wants to know how to jump start his sexual battery.
I don't think the guy ever had a sexual battery. it got left out during assembly. And he won't call the manufacturer to get one.
He will not work on this with her --- I suspect he either has a horrible hang up with sex and lots of conflicts, all possibly due to extreme religiosity or the guy is gay.
If he won't fix this, civil annullment -- from a Biblical point of view, he is not doing his job as a husband and divorces were not unheard of even in Biblical times.
"We chose not to divorce." Those were her words.
As a man I see this from a slightly different perspective,....
The marriage WAS consumated. On her own admission, sex on their honeymoon was good,...the trouble started when they, or more accurately HE, returned to real life.
I can't help thinking that the 'sweet virgins with no sex before marriage' thing was a large part of the problem.........He probably discovered on his honeymoon that he had a 'fully functioning' woman with real sexual needs on his hands!! As we know, 'the church' has deep reservations about anything to do with sex, probably becasue it offers the sublime experience that churches can only wish they could provide.
.....Quite funny to imagine his rising sense of horror as she started to consume him like a female spider !! ....Perhaps it was the way she licked her lips when she unzipped his fly!!
He probably just realised that she was going to corrupt him and turn him into a sex fiend!.....Poor lamb!
She has no "color chip" to compare him to, being she had zero sexual experience before she married her H.
This whole problem is a huge mess. It's either a religious hangup or he's gay or maybe both.
I don't think that "everyones blaming religion",...however, there is an undeniably poor indluence on sexual matter of today's societies by religous groups and churches. This is almost certainly due to the historic denial of sex in all areas of life by the organised churches from the middle-ages onward...... The main cause is that the church naturally fears the power of sex to give sublime experiences,...something teh church consistenly fails to do for more and more intelligent people.
Personally, I find the attitudes of organised religion towards many sexual matters to be blatantly 'unchristian' in it's unhelpful and unkind tone,...there have been too many issues such as the many thousands of people who payed with their lives because so called 'christian' groups forced a condom ban thoughout central Africa,...then there is the stance af the Anglican church against people who are 'unfortunate' to have been born gay,.....then there's the abuse by Catholic elders in EVERY part of the Catholic domain...... the list goes on and on.
There is evidence that the early Christians were indeed loving and kind and that they had no problems with sex anymore than any other human need and appetite,..but that changed becasue it was bad for the churches business,...and yes, it IS business!
MH was my first-and only-when it came to sex/anything past kissing. Am I religious? Yes. I haven't attended church in a while (read:a couple years) but still maintain a relationship with God.
Please don't lump all religions together when you say he's withdrawing because of the church. There are plenty of denominations that admit to how enjoyable sex is (age appropriate, of course) but that is should be saved for the one you marry and should only be done in missionary, with the lights on, etc (ok, I made the last part up..)
Just because this guys is a pastor doesn't mean his issue lays in religion. That being said, I didn't read the OP and am just going off the comments