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MIL is disappointed we're waiting
I was so irritated the other day when MIL was having lunch with DH and I and asked us AGAIN when we'd be having kids! We said we won't be having kids for at least 3 years now. It used to be "2 years" but now we've changed it, partially because it gets annoying for her to keep asking, and also because I am now starting a doctoral program, which will take 3 years or more.
(Background): I don't "click" at all with my MIL and DH is an only child who lived with his mom until we got married (that's actually common around here and he was the one paying most of the bills and being a responsible adult). Anyway, DH gladly cut the "chord" when we were dating and MIL has still tried to wiggle her way in and control something or another, but it never works.
Anyway, we try not to talk babies with anybody as much as possible, but are willing to discuss it briefly with close family and friends. We told MIL several months ago (DH and I got married last summer) that we don't plan on having kids until he finishes his degree, which will be at least another 2 years. But she's very lonely now that she's on her own (and also can't get a job) and her "guy" relationships haven't been working out, so now she's pushing us to hurry up and give her GC so she can have somebody to keep her company while mommy and daddy are at work.
We've already told her that whenever we have kids, most likely I will stay at home, at least for awhile, and take care of the baby until I need to return to work, rather than having someone "else" raise them. During this same conversation (months ago), she had come up with this crazy idea that whenever we have kids, she could move in with us and become our nanny and raise the kids for us.
WTH! At that moment, I looked her in the eye and said "I'M going to be their mommy and raise them myself, along with DH. They will only have one mom, not two." She didn't say anything and let it go. But that brings us up to the present. Even though we've already had this discussion, she asked AGAIN when we were planning to have kids and that she hopes it's really soon because she really wants to take care of them and have something to do.
I jumped in before DH could respond and looked her in the eye and said nonchalantly "Nope. We're not going to have kids for at least three years, so you're just going to have to get over it. We're doing things on OUR schedule, not anybody else's." She just had this deer-in-headlights look and almost spit out her food in disbelief. She made a comment that we shouldn't wait that long because it's a "looooooonng" time. Oh brother. It's not your decision lady! Just because you're lonely and retired way too early, so now you have no money and no job and not much of a life, doesn't mean we're going to start popping out kids anytime soon, so stop asking.
Next time, I will definitely bean dip her. Having this conversation twice was too much. Thanks for letting me vent.
(Edited for grammar)
Re: MIL is disappointed we're waiting
This is a great idea! lol. Thanks for sharing. This will be my line of defense the next time she brings it up. Hopefully that will get her to stop, haha.
I agree with your stance and how you are handling her persistence. I am always floored that others (particularly family) feel the need to question you and your body and family planning.
I try to understand and sympathize with the desire for GCs and wanting to feel needed/wanted in a family, I don't comprehend incessant questioning and downright rudeness.
that is so incredibly annoying! And go you for standing up to her and not having your DH do it!
My mom is more of the hinter type. I keep telling her not anytime soon and her nagging wont help. Quite frankly my DH and I are at the point that we arent even really sure if we want any kids at all. That should be an interesting conversation one day, lol. She keeps emphasizing how there is nothing like your own daughter having a baby. I have two brothers and both of my sister in laws are younger but looking forward to starting families soon. Luckily we dont talk to or see my MIL often so she doesnt have the opportunity to ask.