Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Cheating
I am newly married, and like many women on this site my husband is just not interested in sex and when we do it it is just quick and routine.
I have begun fantasizing about other men most notably a younger guy at my work. He flirts with me, and I have just laughed it off. Now I am becoming more intrigued.
Advice, ladies? Should I hook up with this guy to fill the void in my marriage? Or just resign myself to the fact that I will always be unsatisfied sexually?
Re: Cheating
you sound like you're looking for permission to do something you know is morally wrong.
You have many options:
1) get a divorce
2) talk to your husband!!!
2a) figure this out and have lots of sex
2b) decide to have an open relationship and have lots of sex with other people
3) be miserable
4) cheat and stop asking for permission
You should have sex with him. I'm serious. Go get laid. It doesn't make you a bad person if your husband isn't sexually satisfying you.
Cheating is not the worst thing in the world. Really, it's not. Use protection or course!
But, have you talked to your husband? Was this a problem before marriage? Sexual compatibility is very, very important. You need to do this first. Tell him how you want to have sex, and what you like. He could respond negatively, because ALOT of dudes think women magically have orgasms from them just sticking their penis in your vagina. Obviously, doesn't usually work like that. If you like oral, ask him to do that first. He may just come quick, if the sex doesnt last long. Have him masterbate that day a few hours before having sex. Or try numbing cream, or a *** ring.
Routine is a mood killer, but just try switching positions and see what happens?
You could try an open relationship, although most men don't understand these types of relationships. I have married friends that are in these relationships and they have the strongest marriages out of a lot of my friends.
I hope you can resolve this. Keep us posted!
?Your truth is different from my truth. And we?re both right.?
?Your truth is different from my truth. And we?re both right.?
well now we know who's the hooker in the community!
My advice:
YOu need to provide more backstory about what is happening in your marriage.
That said:
He is not interested. What's going on here???
Have you discussed this with him? if so, what's transpired?
Maybe he isn't interested because, as you said, it is quick and routine -- maybe he is discouraged and doesn't see the point in it. There IS a point in it: the more you do the better you get and he needs to work on having a stellar sex life with you, as a team.
If he won't work on this with you, another story.
Do NOT give that guy who flirts with you the time of day. Disengage immediately. And remember: companies are pissy and provincial about sexual harrassment. Your company may have a no fraternizing rule, also.
you need to talk to your H about your sex life. He owes it to you to work on it with him and vice versa: you need to work on it with him, also.
No, you don't cheat when you're not being satisfied, especially when you're "newly married." Geez, at least wait until your 10 years in (sarcasm).
OP - I'm assuming you married this guy knowing full well he wasn't "into" sex so why did you think it would be any different once you were hitched? What's the difference?
The only thing I can suggest is, IF your husband is open to it, I see nothing wrong with open relationships/marriages as long as BOTH partners are on board.
Maybe he never was into sex, maybe he refuses to work on his technique if he is inexperienced maybe a lot of things; the OP did not clarify it in enough detail when she came here and stated her problem.
What you do NOT do: have an affair.
Talk to your H. Make sure you get satisfaction after you do and if you cannot get satisfaction after giving it a fair amount of time for him to "make good", then decide where you want to go from there.
I think you need to talk to your husband. Tell him that your needs are not being met. Explain to him that you find yourself being drawn to other men because he is NOT meeting your needs.
As for advising you to cheat......maybe hold off on that. The fall-out that follows cheating may be far more then you bargain for.
If you are thinking about an 'open relationship' keep in mind that works both ways.
First off....you REALLY need to talk to your husband.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Really? You're a moron. Sorry, but you can't slut shame me. Get a life.
?Your truth is different from my truth. And we?re both right.?