Touching yourself for spouse to watch

subtle as a trex

My long term bf frequently wants to watch me masturbate, but it makes me feel very self conscious. I do it, but it's basically just for show because with him watching, I can't finish. All I can think about is if I'm looking sexy for him etc. When we were living apart I was able to do it over webcam, though. What's the deal, is this normal? Any suggestions on how to better the situation?

 

I tried to discuss it with him, but he doesn't really get it. He thinks it's because I must not want to or that I don't feel comfortable around him and I could tell it hurt his feelings.

JemmaWRX

First - don't do something sexually that you aren't comfortable with.

Second - uh, your BF probably isn't watching your face or making sure you look like a playboy centerfold when you're rubbing one out for him.  He's probably looking at your vag.

Third - he needs to cut you some slack here.  If you don't like it, he should respect it.  It sounds like you've done it for him quite a few times and it's not growing on you.

Finally - why can't you go back to the webcam if that worked for you?  Just because you're living together doesn't mean you can't roleplay being apart.  Go in the other room!

TarponMonoxide

subtle as a trex:

My long term bf frequently wants to watch me masturbate, but it makes me feel very self conscious. I do it, but it's basically just for show because with him watching, I can't finish. All I can think about is if I'm looking sexy for him etc. When we were living apart I was able to do it over webcam, though. What's the deal, is this normal? Any suggestions on how to better the situation?

I tried to discuss it with him, but he doesn't really get it. He thinks it's because I must not want to or that I don't feel comfortable around him and I could tell it hurt his feelings.

He doesn't exactly look like Justin Timberlake when he comes, does he?:)

How about he peeks in on you while you do it -- watches behind a curtain or through the crack of the door or  something like it?

tiffanysbride

If you aren't comfortable then stop. Just because it was something you were ok with while living apart doesn't mean it is something you always have to do.  Have you asked if you can watch him go solo? Just wondering if he'd get it then. Either way I would not worry about his feelings on this issue, you aren't comfortable and therefore it ruins the experience. I get that it is a turn on, but the fact that he wants to watch frequently despite your discomfort is not ok. 

tmsb827

If you're not comfortable don't do it...but instead of trying to finish yourself couldn't this just be foreplay that leads into sex?

HaileyPhillip

I'm actually dealing with the same thing. I don't want to let him down, and I do enjoy it sometimes, but I miss his touch. He lives overseas right now and sometimes I just want to talk about us and stuff like that. He sees it as me being selfish though.

HisBestBirthdayGift

tmsb827:

..but instead of trying to finish yourself couldn't this just be foreplay that leads into sex?

 

This. I recently bought a vibrator, and my SO was intrigued and really willing to watch. I was a tad bit self conscious about the idea, but eased into him watching full on, up close in person. It has sort of given me a boost in "bedroom confidence I didn't even know I needed, and it makes great foreplay. And PP is probably right in saying he probably won't be paying too much attention to your face with the action going on below!

mjcharpe

JemmaWRX:

First - don't do something sexually that you aren't comfortable with.

Second - uh, your BF probably isn't watching your face or making sure you look like a playboy centerfold when you're rubbing one out for him.  He's probably looking at your vag.

Third - he needs to cut you some slack here.  If you don't like it, he should respect it.  It sounds like you've done it for him quite a few times and it's not growing on you.

Finally - why can't you go back to the webcam if that worked for you?  Just because you're living together doesn't mean you can't roleplay being apart.  Go in the other room!

 

All of this.  You should NEVER do anything that makes you uncomfortable!

Brock & Rachael

I have the same issue! We used to have phone sex or web cam sex, but when we moved in I felt totally uncomfortable touching myself in front of him. So I started making videos for him on my Ipod or camera and leaving them for him to wwatch. Then I would let him watch thru our shower door. Then we moved on to him watching thru a partially closed door or our bedroom window with the curtain cracked. I got braver and finally realized no matter how silly I thought my orgasm face looked he thought it was hot! So now I set up masturbation camp purposfully just so he will walk in on me