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MIL & McDonalds
I have 2 boys, aged 5 & 3. I'll preface this by saying that I hardly ever allow fast food. On the very rare occasion that I do it's always Chick-fil-a where they can have a fruit cup with their chicken. Never fries, and they've NEVER had cokes EVER!!! The 5 year old knows fries and cokes are not good for your body.
Anyway... the in-laws asked if the boys could spend this past weekend with them. They usually spend one weekend with them every couple of months. When they dropped the boys on Sunday each of them had 3 toys. After the in-laws left I asked where they got the toys from and the 5 year old said Old McDonalds. Not being sure about what he was saying I asked him to explain and he said "Old McDonalds where you get a happy meal and toy" I then asked why they each had 3 toys and he said because they went 3 times. My heart almost stood still. 3 times in 3 days???????
I've always sent their snacks and some chicken, fruit, & yogurt with the boys in a little cooler since my MIL is in her late 60's and I didn't want to cause her too much trouble, but it was always just sent back unused so I stopped doing that.
I have never taken the boys to McDonalds - we just don't eat there -- the food really is sub-standard and 99% of the time we eat at home. How do I tell MIL that I do NOT want the boys eating at McDonalds without insulting her or causing drama?
Re: MIL & McDonalds
French fries are the food of the gods as far as I'm concerned. I also agree about the sometimes food idea, otherwise you are setting them up to go crazy when they can pick their own food.
How often do your in-laws spend time with your kids without you? If it's not very often, it's not something I would worry about.
I can't stand McDonald's, either, but I'm seriously LOLing that you think Chik-Fil-A is a healthy alternative. There is an option for fruit or veggies with the kiddie meals at McDonald's, and highly processed, mass-prepared meat is going to be horrible no matter where you get it. Please lighten up a little.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Almost everyone I have known who was *banned* fast food for the first part of their life went on a crazy binge. I wouldn't like the kids to associate it with their grandparents-then they might associate it with good times-but some rare fast food shows that they have the choice to eat it, and that it isn't a treat. My husband and I were raised this way and now really don't like fast food, because it just doesn't taste as good on top of everything else health-related.
That said, I would just say that the 3 year old is a little young for fast food, and it would be ok to "spoil" them in a couple years. You just want him to be as healthy as possible in his early years.
Personal example...my mom never bought sweets for us as kids. EVER. EVER.
She hid our Halloween candy and only allowed us to keep 10 pieces.
We never had pop in the house. IF we had sweets it was Oreo Cookies, which she would hide from us.
Now, I have a really hard time monitoring my responsible food intake and eating a balanced diet.
Once I was free to make my own dietary choices, I went CRAZY (and would eat an entire bag of Oreos in a sitting).
Amazingly, I have no major health issues and am still a pretty healthy weight.
But I know that if I had grown up with a less rigid, more balanced, approach to eating, I'd have an easier time now.
You have every right to parent as you see fit. But just as parents who feed their kids nothing but junk have problems with their chidren's eating habits, you might too due to your rigidity.
Poor kids. They can never have a cookie and McDonalds 3 times in their lifetime is going ruin them for life. It sounds like you're over reacting but you're the parent so do as you please.
TTC since September 2012
Like PP said, you're far better off teaching them about "sometimes food" and moderation now, because the second they go off to college and don't have you micromanaging their diets, they will go and excessively binge on all of the "forbidden fruit" ... because they can.
And I'm really not getting the "Chick-fil-a is fine, McDonald's isn't". McDonald's has the option of fruit with Happy Meals instead of fries, and they also serve parfaits that are made of yogurt, berries and granola.
So why does it really matter that they got their super-processed-probably-not-really-100%-chicken-despite-what-they-advertise nuggets from a different source for a change? Or do you just think fast food tastes better when it comes with a side of bigoted political controversy?
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating
I think you need to get over it. Seriously? Fries, they are not going to kill you, especially as a special food not for every day. I think you're looking for things to be mad about.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
Ohhhh vending machines! Just pushing those buttons is FUN!
D4? F2? G5?
Let it go. It was a treat while they had a weekend away.
At least McDonald's likes the gays.
Right? Because the chicken is oh so healthy there.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/17737694.aspx
Maybe she gave them cookies because their mother is the damn food police.
OMG good find ziti.
OP, at any point when you were dropping off your children, did you specify that you did not want your MIL to take them to McDonalds? Because here's the thing - you are free to parent as you see fit, and if you do not want them eating at McDonald's, then you should be clear about that from the beginning. You cannot fault your MIL for taking them there if she does not even know that you do not approve of them eating there.
I completely agree. Unless they knew ahead of time that McD's was off limits, you CANNOT be upset about this. Any grandparent is going to want to spoil their grandkids. My mom was animate about no junk food when i was little, but that didn't stop my grandparents from taking me to McD's once in awhile.
The only thing you CAN get upset about is that it seems thats ALL they ate. I would have a calm discussion with them, and request that there be a bit more variety in meal planning when the grandkids visit.
As far as teaching your kids about healthy choices --- showing them the bad choices is part of that. If they understand that fast food is reserved for a few key occasions per year - they'll be less inclined to binge on it later. Healthy eating is all about moderation and choices.
Also i agree with everyone else - Chick-fil-a, while slightly better, is NOT healthy food. While my grandparent's spoiled us with trips to mcD's, we also stood on stools in the kitchen and helped cook countless healthy meals and learn about food in general. Teach your kids to love and appreciate good quality food, not just "healthy" things.
I have not eaten fast food in at least the past 8-10 years. This is my own choice, and mostly because I dislike the quality. If i'm craving junk food, I'd MUCH rather get a burger from a place like Red Robin (or some of our awesome local places) than McDs or Burger King.
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I agree with bolded type. ALL fast food is bad for you. Chick-fil-a still fries their chicken in oil and grease, and their food is full of MSG. As PP said, there are options for fruits instead of fries at McDonald's. Chick-fil-a may seem to be the lesser of two evils, but that doesn't make it much better...
Glass? More like the whole bottle
(let's face it, what's the point of cracking open a bottle if you are not going to finish it, right?)
I agree with this and with the other poster who LedOL at you banning McD but going to Chick-whatever-it's-called. How are you not letting your kids eat fast food exaclty, if you're taking them there? And how are you going to instruct someone not to feed your kids fast food when in fact you do too... I'm missing the point here.
FWIW where I grew up there's no such thing as fast food (thankfully) and I most definitely would not feed it to my children (as long as I'm responsible for their meals) but I sure would keep the rule consistent at least.
There isn't much you can do except the next time the kids go over there just tell MIL that you are trying to watch what kind of foods the kids are eating & if they do go out to eat if they could order the kids milk instead of pop & to make sure they get a fruit too, it would be appreciated.
This way you've covered yourself for any resturant, fast food or sit down that they might go to. This way your practices may have a better chance of being honored & the kids will learn that you can still make good choices when going out to eat which I think is an important thing to learn. Also if there are subways in your area, they have kids meals too, maybe make Grandma & Grandpa aware of that.
"At least McDonald's likes the gays."
This.
My husband has literally said that if any of our parents took our kids to Mcdonald's against our wishes, their goes their grandparent privileges lol. He HATES fast food.
I think when you let anyone watch your kid you need to let them know what their dietary restrictions are...the same you would if you told them that your family does not eat pork or beef or whatever. Just mention it casually--don't blame them if they didn't know.
All of this.
My advice to you is to lighten up, A LOT! You cannot control what your MIL does with your children while you are not there, and a little unhealthy food won't kill them, or ruin them for life.
Oh, and if your 5 year old goes to school, to a friends house, he has probably had some kind of soda.
It's ok for grandparents to spoil their grandkids. There were no fast food restaurants when I was growing up, but my grandma made the BEST fried chicken. Whenever I'd go there she'd make it for me, with lots of lard in the frying pan, and if memory serves, it was better than KFC. She also made crusciki, aka "angel wings", the thinly fried dough with powdered sugar on it. She knew how much I loved it, and I'd eat an entire roasting pan of it at her house, LOL. (Knowing now what a PITA it is to make, she was an angel, LOL).
My Dad watched my son one day a week before he was in day care. He'd drive my son to McDonald's, get him a happy meal, and they had their "grandpa and grandson moments". Sometimes they'd go to the mall and walk around with the stroller and my Dad would buy him one of those big pretzels. I never made an issue of it.
I'm all for eating healthy, but I never had a weight problem in spite of all the foods I ate that are now verboten by many parents. It's ok as a parent to want your kids to eat healthy, and to prepare healthy meals at home, and limit fast food. But the occasional spoiling by grandparents, or aunts & uncles, allows them to have their own "moments", and is not going to create fast food monsters.
I agree you can ask they limit it, but I'd also allow your MIL to tell you why she thinks it's ok: it may be that she doesn't like to cook for them......are they picky eaters? Is this simply a time saver for her? Or, like many grandparents, does she think it's something fun to do with them, having them play at the Playland, giving her a break from keeping them occupied? My husband has a regular routine when we have our 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter on Friday nights, which includes a trip to the park in nice weather, or a mall with an indoor playland in bad weather, and the occasional Happy Meal. But, she doesn't eat fast food the entire time, nor do we personally do that often.
I wouldn't make a big deal about it, however, because then it becomes a control issue between the 2 of you.