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Separation Anxiety or normal small dog personality?
So I think my 8 month old Pomeranian /chihuahua mix Heidi is starting to show signs of separation anxiety and I'm not sure how to deal with it. She's been pretty clingy with me since I've gotten her at about 4 months. And I know that has to do a lot with her breed. But ever since I've had her spayed about a month ago it's gotten much worse. She has always slept with us on the bed....I know bad habit! But now she will only go to sleep if I lay on the couch with her away from my husband. My husband says if I leave she will cry for at least 2 hours before she calms down even though he's home with her (a habit we had broken before her surgery). I take her out at least twice a week to a busy place to be socialized. And we've been working on going to the dog park more often. She does ok when people come to us, she'll even let them pet her. But she will never go to anyone on her own, even if we are at home and she's met them a ton of times. Did the surgery change her? Or have I been raising a needy dog on my own? What can I do to help her? I don't want her to grow to be a timid dog.
Re: Separation Anxiety or normal small dog personality?
I would not classify this as "normal small dog personality." I have 2 pugs who adore both me and my husband, but they don't do any of these things. You might want to look into NILIF (you can Google it) and also make sure your husband is participating in feeding, training, exercising, socializing, etc., so that he has a bond with your pup as well.
I wouldn't give in to her "demand" that you lie on the couch with her away from your husband. She needs to learn that things are done on your terms/schedule (that's where NILIF can help) and that she can't demand attention, food, etc. Instead, she needs to "earn" each reward. Letting her sleep in your bed is your choice, but if she shows any signs of guarding the bed, I would stop that practice. My dogs have never been allowed on our bed, and they are 100% happy to sleep in their own beds.
Regarding her not approaching people, that might just not be her personality, and that's ok as long as she isn't fearful or aggressive. One of my dogs was quite shy when we adopted him - he would get overwhelmed by attention/petting and would walk away. He only started approaching people about 2 years after we adopted him (he was ~5 years old when he started approaching people). It just took him some time to get comfortable with attention. Building a trusting relationship with your pup and exposing them to lots of different situations can really help (as long as it's within their tolerance - don't push them too far, or they might regress). GL!
Ditto everything Caz said, especially the NILIF.
When you leave, try to always give her a high-value treat. This way, she associates you leaving with getting something awesome. This can be whatever you choose, but typically something that takes the dog a little time to get through is best (something like a stuffed [possibly frozen] Kong or other treat-dispensing toy).
You can also try making leaving and coming home as boring as possible. Stop giving her attention several minutes before you actually leave, and then just walk out the door quietly, no saying goodbye or looking at her. When you come home, put away your things (remove shoes, hang coat, put purse in your room, or whatever it is you do when you come home) BEFORE giving her attention. Once you've been home several minutes, then feel free to call her over and give her loads of affection.
Getting your husband more involved is also very important. Our Boxer pup was TOTALLY a mama's girl for well into the first year we had her, and this is simply because I was the one doing the bulk of her training, taking her on walks, and feeding her. She was naturally much more bonded to me because of this. She had no problem with being around DH, but she definitely gave me priority. That's changed now, and it appears we're much more equal in terms of importance to her.
Some puppies can have "regression" stages in their development, and this just might be one for Heidi. Ramp up the training and such, and you'll get through it.
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
My cocker spaniel has terrible separation anxiety and I've helped her grow out of it ALOT. Here are a few of my best tricks:
Don't fuss over her when you leave or right when you come home. Wait til she calms down to give her attention and she'll learn the anxious behavior doesn't get her anyway.
If she's crying to your hubby, have him distract her with a favorite toy or treat.
Tucker her out! Even little dogs need exercise. My pup is way less likely to expend energy howling and fussing if she's been on a long walk or played a great game of fetch.
Hope that helps!