DD?

doglove

Sorry you don't want to hear it, but that guy does not want to marry you. Plain and simple. 

ReturnOfKuus

who the what now?

doglove

Someone who posted last night about how her fiance has been putting off a wedding date. They had it scheduled, he canceled it because they didn't have the finances for it and months and months go by with no rescheduled date. She says, "Let's just go to JOP" and he says "No, let's have a big expensive wedding that we won't ever be able to afford." She has three kids and can't afford to save for said wedding. She feels like it's her fault he won't marry her because she can't save the money. Totally missed the point that this guy is making excuses. 

  

Golden42

There was also a DD the other day where the OP and her H quit their jobs and moved in with his parents in FL without having a job. And she doesn't want her inlaws to have anything to do with the baby until its 1.

Disneygeek77

I was wondering what happened to that one.

nurse714

The girl whose fiance didn't want to marry her was in denial and the other girl who didn't want her inlaws (which were housing her) to see her child is delusional.

sarahewt

Yeah so I am the one with the fiance that won't reschedule. I just wanted to set the record straight that I am not in denial. I thought this was a place that people would give advice without being jerks about it. Obviously this is not the case. I wanted to helpful advice and all I got was you need to leave him and he doesn't want to marry you. Well maybe he doesn't want to marry me. I won't post my personal life on here anymore. After all the comments on my post it truely shocked me after going through and reading some other post that your advice and most peoples was to leave the other person. Is that really the answer to everything? If you are giong through something hard you just up and leave? Maybe in my situation it is time to leave. Maybe we just needed to talk about things and truely come up with a plan that worked for us. I personally think your advice sucks. You tell everyone to leave the other person. I feel sorry for you if thats how you truely feel about things. I was taught not to throw people you care about away when you go through hard times. That you can work things out if you truely want to. Both parties have to want it though. One person can't do it all. I hope that you and your partner never go through anything hard because if they really love you they are looking at a broken heart because if you take your own advice you are just going to up and leave them.

doglove

Life is hard enough without having a partner who makes it harder.

How are you going to work through his inability to commit to you? You can't. You can accept it, sure, but is that what you want for yourself? We are just trying to get you to ask these questions. 

sarahewt

I agree that your partner should not make it harder for you. That the two should be a team and work together to get through things. If you think that life is all happy you are in for a rude awakening. Things go wrong, life happens and all we can do is deal with the cards we are handed. I have asked myself the hard questions. I have also asked him those questions as well. I am not going to comment what has happened since then. I can tell you however that in my experiance with my own life that things happen. It's all meant to happen the way that it does. Is it easy? Sometimes it is sometimes it's not. Not everything in life will be easy. I have been challenged more than I would have ever thought a person could be. I have gone through things that have been a living nightmare. I learned from posting that asking a general question and giving the basic info wasn't the best. I got alot of people who new nothing about my life in general telling me to do something that may or may not have been the best. I will say this though because I feel the need to defend him. That man has been my rock. When other men would have run he stayed. My oldest son has a brain tumor and started having siezures about a year after we got together. This man held my hand, let me cry on his shoulder, went to every dr appointment he could. When my son (not his) had his first seizure he was the one that held me together when I needed it and let me fall apart in his arms at the end of the day. When all I could do was sit next to my sons bed while he slept to make sure he was ok and finally fell asleep from being completely exhausted he sat there with him and let me sleep. Life is not all about happy endings but this man is a good man. He may have commitment issues and maybe doesn't want to marry me right now but he's a good man. He could have easily walked out the door when my life my whole world was falling apart but he didn't. That is who this man is. I would encourage you to think that maybe these people who are posting things on here have not just had an easy life. That maybe their experiance hasn't always been sunshine and walking out on someone who has stood by them through the hard times might not be the right answer. Walking out isn't always the answer. You can sit and judge them and think you are giving them sound advice but the way you do it is rather harsh.  What happened to the days when people truely wanted to see things work out? When did walking out become so easy? I do agree that sometimes it's what needs to be done. I am by no means living in a fantasy world. I do hope that next time your first and only advice is for them to walk out that you take  a minute to think about what you would do for your partner. What you would go through with them. If things got rocky if the first thing you would do would be to walk out.  Go through and look at the advice you have written to other people who are having problems. Most of the time you have told them to leave. I should have read more post before posting my own. I would not have written it had I done that. It's not that I don't want to hear the hard things or want someone to say what I want to hear. I just don't think that leaving is always the go to answer. When reading other peoples post my first thought isn't you should leave. I wonder about the other details in their life that have put them there. I wonder what they have and haven't tried to do about the problem. You only get a small amount of information when someone post something. You are only getting a fraction of who they are. I did learn from posting and I hope that you will learn something from mine as well. If its only to ask yourself that in love, life and relationships is walking out really the only answer?