Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Rough Patch/nervous for future

Hello,

This is my first time posting anything like this on a public forum but I'm having a hard time. I've been married to my husband a year and a half now and we're having problems. He would kill me if he knew I was posting about this because he is so private. Part of our problem I know is communication, well lack thereof. Let me back up a little for the back story.

We found each other online and after talking both online and over the phone for several months we agreed to meet. I was still in college and he lived over an hour away with his parents so we couldnt be together too often. We started exclusively dating after a couple dates and have been together ever since (5 years now). We knew we wanted to be together. He was my first boyfriend and who I lost my virginity to. Our relationship has been complicated by my husband's health and now mine.

Don't get me wrong, we are happy together but lately I feel as though our spark has fizzled. His health has declined again and I've been out of work with a bad knee injury. Things have been difficult but especially regarding our sex life. When we were dating, we were having sex all the time, and it was really good. With my knee injury, he has to be the one to take the brunt of the work during sex but in his weakened state, it wears him out easily and he's in pain afterwards. He also has no desire for sex anymore but it seems like I always want sex. He's afraid I might leave him or that our marriage will fail because of my constant desire for sex and hes sorry he can't do it more often. I would never leave him or cheat on him. I don't know what do do. I can't get rid of my desires. He says he still finds me attractive and wishes he was in the mood more or at leat if sex wasn't so hard for him. It would be better if I could do more but with my injury, I'm very limited in what I can do. How do we get though this and keep our relationship strong?

Re: Rough Patch/nervous for future

  • Is your main "disagreement" about sex? Or is it more than that?

    It sounds like he wants to have sex, just not as often as you do.

    There needs to be some sort of compromise.

    There are more things that either of you can do to plea

    "How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • imageKK1082011:

    Hello,

    This is my first time posting anything like this on a public forum but I'm having a hard time. I've been m

  • vpinevpine member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    Without knowing what his health issue is and if there's chance of improving or if it's downhill from here, I can't give much advice. If his health will improve, I think there's chance for you two.

  •  A little clarification: my husband's health has always been and will probably always be an issue. He is a 2x double lung transplant recipient a
  • Wanting a lot of sex is only a problem when you're not getting it. There's nothing inherently bad about it! Sex is great.
  • imageKK1082011:

     A little c
  • Thank You. We've both agreed to see a therapist when I'm well again. If not to help with our sex life, at least it might help with strengthening our relationship. As for me on top, I can't do it right now because of my knee but he likes that and it tak

  • I'm kinda in a similar position...only I'm not married. It's hard when you feel like things are starting to fizzle...but you have to put the effort out there if you want it to work. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards