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How long did it take you to change your last name?

My other friends that have gotten married basically changed their last names on Facebook once they got married...I haven't changed my name yet and my MIL will occasionally (publicly) ask me about it. She always ignores that my name on Facebook is simply my first and middle name...it's just a coincidence that my middle name is a last name (my mom's maiden name...it's a cultural thing). 

The weird thing about changing my name is that it just seems so odd. But what's just as odd is I always hated my last name, it's one of those last names that people make sex-puns out of. But I got used to my name and the idea of changing it is somewhat bizarre to me. It also doesn't help that my husband has a very up and down relationship with his family. For the most part I don't have fond memories of them, and neither does he, sadly.  

The night before my wedding, my mom flat out told me to not change my name. She didn't want me to because her marriage failed and she's also ashamed of my husband's family because they have some criminal history. But it's also a common last name.

Re: How long did it take you to change your last name?

  • This is a personal decision only you can make.

    Lots of married women retain their maiden names after they have married. THey may do it for professional reasons or simply because they just wish to be Ms. Jane Doe.

    When I got back from honeymoon, I went to SSA and then to the rest of the "usual" places one' needs to go to to do a name change.

    This is not a decision you need to make now. Think about it for awhile; again, this is up to you.


  • As PP mentioned, this is up to you. I changed mine at SSA the week after our wedding (no honeymoon). However, I am a nurse and haven't gone through all the paperwork to change it on my nursing license, which means that I can't change it at work, which means I can't change it with insurance, and therefore haven't changed it with the bank because my checks are still made out to my maiden name. I have been married 6months. I plan to get the board stuff taken care of this summer, but it's really just a drawn out process that I haven't finished yet. A girl I work with doesn't care for her IL's and has been married 5 years without changing it and says she doesn't know yet if she ever will.
  • I immensely appreciate having the freedom to choose. I didn't change my name and am not going to. It's a personal decision, take the time you need to decide.
  • Changed immediately on facebook...Took another year and a half to actually work up the day off to sit down in the social security office and legally change my name.

     

    It's not up to your mom.  It's up to you.  You do what you want..

     

    I couldn't wait to take my husband's name and it irritated the absolute hell outta him that it took me so long to drop my maiden name and take his.  Plus he's the only blood male in his family.  So the sooner the better in his eyes.

     

    I believe you have up to two years to change your last name with SS. 

     

    GL!

  • While it's not very common, a friend of mine and her husband sat down, picked a last name that they really liked, and both changed their names.  It had nothing to do with either of their surnames and it was totally a personal choice.  This is another option if your H is willing to compromise.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • That honestly sounds like the most desirable option in my opinion, to make up our own last name...I don't think my husband would mind doing that either as I jokingly brought it up before. His family would have a fit though, but it's not our fault that they created a bad reputation behind their family name.

    I worry that at any time, my husband could decide to be done with his family and then it will just feel awkward having that name.

    In any case, I just told myself that his mother wants to feel included. But I do try to include her in my life in other ways, so I shouldn't feel guilty about something so small as a name change.

  • I changed my name about a week after the honeymoon as well. Throughout our whole engagment I was trying to decide what I was going to do. H's family is pretty poor and I didn't really want to have a last name "associated" with that so I was going to keep my last name as my middle name because I was so proud of my family last name...then after a few therapy sessions my therapist made me realize that I was being selfish and my last name had nothing to do with his family status. I also think it would have hurt my H's feelings if I had told him what I was thinking. So in the end I just took his last name and it's been fine. Anytime we see his parents his mom says "Hello Mrs......." and it's kinda cool, they really are good people tho and glad I didn't offend anyone by making a rude selfish decision. Im proud to be my husbands wife
  • imageAlwysListn:

     

    I believe you have up to two years to change your last name with SS. 

     

    GL!

     

    I was going to say this. Take your time deciding - and it is YOUR decision, not your mom's - but keep in mind that changing it will get harder to do after 2 years. I think you need a court order after that? Not that it should be hard to get such a court order, but it's probably more expensive and more time-consuming.

    image

    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

    TTC #1 August 2014. BFP 9/26! EDD 6/9/15
    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • Oh, and to answer your question, we took a delayed honeymoon a couple of months after our late September wedding, so I waited to change it until after that, and then did it all in December to avoid any confusion when filing taxes (I had estimated payments that I had paid in my married name already) 

    image

    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

    TTC #1 August 2014. BFP 9/26! EDD 6/9/15
    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • I am getting married in July and told my fiance many times over our relationship that I would not be changing my last name but the kids (way in the future) can have his last name.  I guess its all about legacy for him. *have been together for over 5 years.  So when he proposed, he knew and told me that all he wanted to do was marry me and make me happy.  I made this decision because my mom was married 3 times and in her last marriage (to my father) just kept her maiden name and I have always like the flow of my full name and am proud to be in my family, so why change it?
  • vpinevpine member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I'm traditional, I wanted to change my name right away, I had my last name changed on D License and SS card within 2 weeks.
  • I changed it on FB the day after the wedding.  Everything else I started right away once I got the paperwork I needed to do it.  I always knew I'd take my husband's last name, but once I got established in a career, I kind of wanted to keep it since everyone knew me as my maiden name.  I changed it anyway, and if anyone ever got confused I just explained I was Ms. X, now I'm Mrs. Y. 

    I'm not a huge fan of my in-laws, but I love my husband & I don't consider his parents actions to reflect on me.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • im more traditional as well and always wanted to take my husbands name. If we decide to have a family, i wanted all of us to have the same name. That being said. I changed my name on FB the day after the wedding.  My other stuff I changed once we got the marriage license back after our honeymoon.  The last thing I did was my passport and that was probably 6 months later or so once the easier/bigger things were out of the way.
    imageimage
  • I changed my last name on FB the day after the wedding and with everyone else a few weeks later. I was excited to change my name.

    Also, this decision has nothing to do with your mother. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since September 2012
  • I have been married for two years, and I didn't change my name.  I always thought I would when I get married, but I decided not to, for no particular reason.

     

  • imagechrisnjay05212010:
    im more traditional as well and always wanted to take my husbands name. If we decide to have a family, i wanted all of us to have the same name. That being said. I changed my name on FB the day after the wedding.  My other stuff I changed once we got the marriage license back after our honeymoon.  The last thing I did was my passport and that was probably 6 months later or so once the easier/bigger things were out of the way.

     

     

    I LOVE your dog!  Is that a Great Dane?

     

  • imageHoneyBee973:

    imagechrisnjay05212010:
    im more traditional as well and always wanted to take my husbands name. If we decide to have a family, i wanted all of us to have the same name. That being said. I changed my name on FB the day after the wedding.  My other stuff I changed once we got the marriage license back after our honeymoon.  The last thing I did was my passport and that was probably 6 months later or so once the easier/bigger things were out of the way.

     

     

    I LOVE your dog!  Is that a Great Dane?

     

     

    oh thank you!! no, he is a cane corso, or some people refer to them as an italian mastiff.  He will be 11 months old on the 1st :)

    imageimage
  • I should have known this!   My friends had a cane corso.  Gorgeous!!   What's his name?
  • My MIL wrote on my Facebook again about my name change with 5 exclamation points...sheesh. I'm not doing anything wrong, I have her listed as my MIL on Facebook. 
  • I mean...I know I could keep coming up with excuses until my face turns blue. I just know that I'm not one of them and don't want to be. Even my husband isn't like his family. They've been racist at times towards my family and my heritage at times and at other times have been plain cruel. I think this bothers my MIL, she knows I don't really like her. Granted I want her to be happy and stuff, but I'm not going to go do what she tells me to do just because she thinks I won't say no. I try to be respectful as long as it doesn't hurt me.I know it's just Facebook, but the more she tries to "force" me to change the name on my profile, the less it makes me want to do it. 
  • imageHoneyBee973:
    I should have known this!   My friends had a cane corso.  Gorgeous!!   What's his name?

    :) They are great dogs! his name is Ben. It started as Big Ben and has turned into Benjamin, Benny, Benny Boo Boo, Benster...the list goes on! hahaha

    imageimage
  • I've been married for 2 years and am not changing my name. No "real" reason, just don't feel it's necessary. When family members send us cards, they address them to Mr. and Mrs {Insert Last Name} -- even though I've never indicated that I changed my name. I don't mind, and it's not worth it to me to correct them.
  • I always thought I would change my last name when I got married, but I haven't yet. I've sort of been saying that I'll change it when we start our adoption process or when my passport expires--whichever comes first. This gives me a few years to think about it.
  • I'm still in the process of changing mine... there's so many steps! I was so excited to change it right after the wedding but with waiting for the marriage certificate and the general busy-ness of life it's still a work in progress. I got the big places done but I keep realizing things I haven't done yet. Hopefully soon, it's confusing to remember where I've changed it and where I haven't haha
    Anniversary
  • I still haven't changed it legally, just on FB. :P I really want to. I love my husband's LN, I'm just super lazy. 

     

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  • I am going to change mine but I haven't yet.  I'm a student so changing in the middle of the semester is a pain in the butt.  I'm planning to wait until my driver's license expires in November to start changing it and then change it at my university in between the fall and spring semesters next year.

     My family is extremely traditional and I know my mom judges the heck out of me for not changing my name yet.  I've told her why I haven't even though the real reason was to give me time to decide what I wanted to do.  I've decided to change it but I'm still giving myself time to get used to the idea.  And I have started using his name.  I'm publishing under my married name even though that's not my legal name yet. 

  • I know this makes it sound like I let it be my husband's decision, but he said if I didn't change my name, he wouldn't have married me. Even hyphenating was out of the question. Which sucks, because I hate my married name, and I loved my maiden name (took my mom's name when I was 18, because my family wasn't all awesome either).....BUT! I love my husband, and I love the feeling that sharing a last name gives me, that we really are a team and taking on the world together. So I'll deal with a name I don't love for the man I love Smile

    Which is saying a lot, since I'm military and am almost exclusively called by my last name. It's a compromise I can deal with tho.

    I had one friend that when they got married, they combined half of each their last names to make a brand new one. Totally unique, just like them.

  • von1976von1976 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary

    It didn't take me that long to do the name change. I sent a letter for a certified copy of our marriage certificate the day after the wedding, and received the certificate six days after our wedding (which happened to be a Saturday). So Monday morning, I went to the SSA, then two days later to the DMV and got it done there. After that, all I had to do was phone my banks and credit card companies. Surprisingly, none of them asked to see the marriage certificate, they just asked the spelling of the new name.

    I'm dragging my feet on the retirement accounts, not because I don't want my husband to have them (he's already listed as a beneficiary), but because it's a bit of a PITA. I have to walk into a bank and show them I am who I say I am so they will rubber stamp some form. Blegh.

    The decision to take your husband's name or not is all yours. Yeah, it was a little weird at first (okay, still kind of is) to see my new license and credit cards. But at the same time,  it's kind of thrilling to have formed this new family with my husband, and I get a kick out of mail addressed to my new name. I'm still me... it's just a name. :)

    image

    Anniversary
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