My other friends that have gotten married basically changed their last names on Facebook once they got married...I haven't changed my name yet and my MIL will occasionally (publicly) ask me about it. She always ignores that my name on Facebook is simply my first and middle name...it's just a coincidence that my middle name is a last name (my mom's maiden name...it's a cultural thing).
The weird thing about changing my name is that it just seems so odd. But what's just as odd is I always hated my last name, it's one of those last names that people make sex-puns out of. But I got used to my name and the idea of changing it is somewhat bizarre to me. It also doesn't help that my husband has a very up and down relationship with his family. For the most part I don't have fond memories of them, and neither does he, sadly.
The night before my wedding, my mom flat out told me to not change my name. She didn't want me to because her marriage failed and she's also ashamed of my husband's family because they have some criminal history. But it's also a common last name.
Re: How long did it take you to change your last name?
Lots of married women retain their maiden names after they have married. THey may do it for professional reasons or simply because they just wish to be Ms. Jane Doe.
When I got back from honeymoon, I went to SSA and then to the rest of the "usual" places one' needs to go to to do a name change.
This is not a decision you need to make now. Think about it for awhile; again, this is up to you.
Changed immediately on facebook...Took another year and a half to actually work up the day off to sit down in the social security office and legally change my name.
It's not up to your mom. It's up to you. You do what you want..
I couldn't wait to take my husband's name and it irritated the absolute hell outta him that it took me so long to drop my maiden name and take his. Plus he's the only blood male in his family. So the sooner the better in his eyes.
I believe you have up to two years to change your last name with SS.
GL!
That honestly sounds like the most desirable option in my opinion, to make up our own last name...I don't think my husband would mind doing that either as I jokingly brought it up before. His family would have a fit though, but it's not our fault that they created a bad reputation behind their family name.
I worry that at any time, my husband could decide to be done with his family and then it will just feel awkward having that name.
In any case, I just told myself that his mother wants to feel included. But I do try to include her in my life in other ways, so I shouldn't feel guilty about something so small as a name change.
I was going to say this. Take your time deciding - and it is YOUR decision, not your mom's - but keep in mind that changing it will get harder to do after 2 years. I think you need a court order after that? Not that it should be hard to get such a court order, but it's probably more expensive and more time-consuming.
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"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussOh, and to answer your question, we took a delayed honeymoon a couple of months after our late September wedding, so I waited to change it until after that, and then did it all in December to avoid any confusion when filing taxes (I had estimated payments that I had paid in my married name already)
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"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussI changed it on FB the day after the wedding. Everything else I started right away once I got the paperwork I needed to do it. I always knew I'd take my husband's last name, but once I got established in a career, I kind of wanted to keep it since everyone knew me as my maiden name. I changed it anyway, and if anyone ever got confused I just explained I was Ms. X, now I'm Mrs. Y.
I'm not a huge fan of my in-laws, but I love my husband & I don't consider his parents actions to reflect on me.
I changed my last name on FB the day after the wedding and with everyone else a few weeks later. I was excited to change my name.
Also, this decision has nothing to do with your mother.
TTC since September 2012
I have been married for two years, and I didn't change my name. I always thought I would when I get married, but I decided not to, for no particular reason.
I LOVE your dog! Is that a Great Dane?
oh thank you!! no, he is a cane corso, or some people refer to them as an italian mastiff. He will be 11 months old on the 1st
I still haven't changed it legally, just on FB. :P I really want to. I love my husband's LN, I'm just super lazy.
I am going to change mine but I haven't yet. I'm a student so changing in the middle of the semester is a pain in the butt. I'm planning to wait until my driver's license expires in November to start changing it and then change it at my university in between the fall and spring semesters next year.
My family is extremely traditional and I know my mom judges the heck out of me for not changing my name yet. I've told her why I haven't even though the real reason was to give me time to decide what I wanted to do. I've decided to change it but I'm still giving myself time to get used to the idea. And I have started using his name. I'm publishing under my married name even though that's not my legal name yet.
I know this makes it sound like I let it be my husband's decision, but he said if I didn't change my name, he wouldn't have married me. Even hyphenating was out of the question. Which sucks, because I hate my married name, and I loved my maiden name (took my mom's name when I was 18, because my family wasn't all awesome either).....BUT! I love my husband, and I love the feeling that sharing a last name gives me, that we really are a team and taking on the world together. So I'll deal with a name I don't love for the man I love
Which is saying a lot, since I'm military and am almost exclusively called by my last name. It's a compromise I can deal with tho.
I had one friend that when they got married, they combined half of each their last names to make a brand new one. Totally unique, just like them.
It didn't take me that long to do the name change. I sent a letter for a certified copy of our marriage certificate the day after the wedding, and received the certificate six days after our wedding (which happened to be a Saturday). So Monday morning, I went to the SSA, then two days later to the DMV and got it done there. After that, all I had to do was phone my banks and credit card companies. Surprisingly, none of them asked to see the marriage certificate, they just asked the spelling of the new name.
I'm dragging my feet on the retirement accounts, not because I don't want my husband to have them (he's already listed as a beneficiary), but because it's a bit of a PITA. I have to walk into a bank and show them I am who I say I am so they will rubber stamp some form. Blegh.
The decision to take your husband's name or not is all yours. Yeah, it was a little weird at first (okay, still kind of is) to see my new license and credit cards. But at the same time, it's kind of thrilling to have formed this new family with my husband, and I get a kick out of mail addressed to my new name. I'm still me... it's just a name.