Affair

Jacy Marie

My boyfriend of a year has had an affair - he doesn't know that I know.  How to I confront him.  It was a one night stand that went bad.  The female does not ever want to see or hear from him again.

 

Do I  confront him, or let it go

 

Please help me  I'm totally confused

 

always4278

I know I would never be able to let something like that go personally.  I think you also need to consider if you'd want to stay with him regardless of whether you confront him or not.  So the female doesn't want to be with him but what was his thinking around it? If she felt different would he still be seeing her? For me I know this would be a deal breaker.

riebeetee

always4278:

I know I would never be able to let something like that go personally.  I think you also need to consider if you'd want to stay with him regardless of whether you confront him or not.  So the female doesn't want to be with him but what was his thinking around it? If she felt different would he still be seeing her? For me I know this would be a deal breaker.

I completely agree with PP.

annmarie714

I can't imagine staying with someone when I've only been with them a year and they're already cheating on me.  I say dump him.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  A relationship, especially the first year, is supposed to be exciting, thrilling, and full of love and support for your SO--cheating does not embody any of that.

TarponMonoxide

You mean to tell me that it is only a boyfriend and you plan on staying with this guy????

Nope.

BOYFRIEND.

You are not married to him. Nothing legal and binding here.

No explanation is needed; you simply leave the relationship. Leave him flat; there is nothing here to love or trust.

Getting tested for STDs is very necessary. Who knows what he might have exposed you to?

And even if this was your husband, same thing: you give the bum the boot.

He wasn't into you. You need him like Mante T'eo needs another fake internet girlfriend.

CurlieWhirlie

annmarie714:

I can't imagine staying with someone when I've only been with them a year and they're already cheating on me.  I say dump him.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  A relationship, especially the first year, is supposed to be exciting, thrilling, and full of love and support for your SO--cheating does not embody any of that.

Well, I disagree with the blanket statement "once a cheater, always a cheater". That's a lazy way to dismiss the person who cheated without examining any problems in the relationship. Not saying cheating is ever ok, but it's often a symptom of a larger problem.  

That being said, I totally agree that you should really re-think this relationship, since you've only been dating a year and he's already cheated. This early on in a relationship you shouldn't be experiencing problems of that magnitude.

brij2006

You should confront him, and then leave him.  He's been with you for a year, and is already looking for something else. Then that means he is not committed to you exclusively.  If he isn't committed now, then he never will be.

tiffanysbride

TarponMonoxide:

You mean to tell me that it is only a boyfriend and you plan on staying with this guy????

Nope.

BOYFRIEND.

You are not married to him. Nothing legal and binding here.

No explanation is needed; you simply leave the relationship. Leave him flat; there is nothing here to love or trust.

Getting tested for STDs is very necessary. Who knows what he might have exposed you to?

And even if this was your husband, same thing: you give the bum the boot.

He wasn't into you. You need him like Mante T'eo needs another fake internet girlfriend.

I agree. He is a boyfriend not a husband and even that doesn't mean you should stay. I cannot fathom putting in the kind of work needed to maybe get through this for a boyfriend.  

dancingphalanges

Absolutely confront him. Like previous posters have said, he is only a boyfriend, and one that you have not been with for very long.  IMO, you need to dump him STAT.

mjcharpe

brij2006:

You should confront him, and then leave him.  He's been with you for a year, and is already looking for something else. Then that means he is not committed to you exclusively.  If he isn't committed now, then he never will be.

Totally agree.  Good luck...you deserve better!