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Boyfriend refuses sex
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first child and my boyfriend refuses to have sex cause he says he pictures my body differently now that it is making a baby and doesn't see me in a sexual way right now. (As a side note my body hasn't changed much yet, only gained 5 lbs and a tiny baby bump and fit to begin with.)We have always had a very very healthy sexual relationship and I never realized he'd see me so differently when I got pregnant. The first few months we argued a lot about it and I finally accepted his feelings and said that I hope after I have the baby our sex life will return.
He has looked at porn in the past And it never bothered me. in fact we'd even watch it together. But now when he does it hurts my feelings cause he won't sleep with me due to being pregnant. i already feel insecure with my body changing and this makes it worse. I confronted him about this issue and he doesn't know why I feel insecure.He does tell me I'm beautiful and is affectionate so he thinks this should be enough to make me feel secure and not jealous of the porn.
Bottom line is he doesn't show any signs of being attracted to me sexually so he's using the porn as a substitute and I couldn't feel more unattractive and its killing my self esteem. It's already hard enough being pregnant. Dealing with the loss of our sex life makes it so much worse. Anyone been thru a similar experience? Did the sexual attraction return after pregnancy?
Re: Boyfriend refuses sex
Have you spelled it out for him like you did here? I think there is some normal period of time where he might need to adjust or could be scared he is somehow going to hurt you or the baby. Not sure of your history but maybe he knows someone that lost a
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
This is a well documented phenomena and is sometimes refered to as the 'madonna whore complex'. Characteristically, some men see women as purely sexual beings. Then, when the woman becomes pregnant they see th woman as the mothe
There's your answer: Lots of guys are like that; it is no insult to you. BUT to me: I get the idea he is being a first class prize jerk about your pregnancy.
You only gained 5 pounds and you are due in 4 months? That's a low weight gain, I think
Thank you all very much for all of the input and suggestions. I appreciate it immensely! We are still very much in love but the lack of sex certainly drives a wedge in between us. I think with all if your help I have a great starting point to hopefully
I think the problem may be extrinsic of the porn watching.
Anything can be at hand: MWS (that I mentioned), an affair, for some reason he's just decided no more sex with you. Or some other con
There are lots of "sad" elements to this....the saddest is that this is caused entirely by the way attitudes to sex and women are controlled and manipulated in western societies, often with religous undertones.
Both men and women frf