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MIL filthy living conditions
Hello, my mother in law is a really nice woman, but her house is absolutely disgusting.. think on the verge of being a hoarder. (quick background: apparently she was always "messy" but things got worse when she became a widow and then went to a completely different level when my husband moved out to go to college.) My concern is we recently got a puppy, and in the next few years we'll be starting a family. She lives 2.5 hrs away and wants us to come visit her on a somewhat regular basis, like every few months. We recently bought a house and she's visited twice since december, but now she feels it our turn to make the drive to her place. I've held my tongue and just dealt with the horrible living conditions every time we've gone, but now that we have a dog and soon pregnancy/kids, it's really an unhealthy living environment, not only for us when we visit for the weekend, but also for her, my brother in law, and her pets.
To give you an idea, she lives across the street from a cement factory which means there's a coating of dust on everything. The air quality is absolutely terrible, it's hard to breathe, there's not only dust, but years of grime on everything. She never ever cleans. She has 3 dogs and a cat, so there's pet hair everywhere. On top of all that, she doesnt pick up after herself, nor does her 25 yr old son so there are dirty dishes (think moldy casserole dish on the counter for several months.. seriously) and the kitchen sink doesn't work, so they've been using the bathroom sink, letting dishes pile up in there. I'm concerned to go there, I'm concerned that my dog will eat the debris that's all over the floor (her dogs chew sticks in the house, so it's like mulch on the floor), and I'm concerned about when I'm pregnant and we actually have kids. There's no way I'm going there, breathing in that air, let alone letting my children crawl around on the floor. How do I politely ask her to get her house under control so we can go visit? I like spending time with her, just not being in her house. Any suggestions?
Re: MIL filthy living conditions
Sorry but there really is no way you can tell her that. Just keep telling her you can't visit or meet her halfway or at a restaurant.
Since she is a hoarder I doubt that she has space to put you up- how about staying in a hotel and visiting neutral locations, like local attractions, food places, etc, exclusively?
Your H has to tell her. If anyone is going to say something it can only be him. If she has been like this for years and you use hoarder to describe any part of her house, she isn't going to fix or change her house.
In the end your H may hav
When it comes to discussions like this that need to happen with the ILs, it's best if your spouse has them. He is her child, she will see it from his perspective more than your perspective.
I agree with PP though. He needs
TTC since September 2012
I'm reading a lot of "I/ Me" in your post. Where exactly does your DH stand on this? As in - is HE concerned to and does he have an issue w/ staying there too?
If he DOESN'T- thats going to be your bigger issue and you're going to hav
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
We had a cement factory in our town and they were scrupulous about keeping the premises and the surrounding residential streets clean. I never saw one speck of dust on any cars and the streets were washed clean every day
Thanks everybody for the responses. My husband knows that it's bad. He was the one cleaning everything up in high school. Once he moved out, he got sick of it and it just spiralled. He knows how I feel about it, and I know he feels the same way, but at
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Meh, the usual "ask for advice but don't take any because it'll hurt someone's feelings" approach.
Clearly she won't clean on her own. You said your H cleaned when he lived there, it's gotten worse since he left, and if the moldy casserole