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I hate sex.
I was molested as a child and my Husband knows this. We got married three months ago. I told him how it hurts me to have sex and it's uncomfortable. I thought he understood all of that.
I continued to have sex with him for his pleasure, I would just shut my eyes and wait until its over. I hate it so much.
I got a major kidney infection and he pressured me into doing it more and then I had more pain. I try to tell him, he doesn't listen sometimes, and I know he's not raping me, but it's a feeling like rape.
He is upset, because I recently told him that I do it for his pleasure, because I thought he wanted the truth. He said " I can't even have sex with my own wife, what's the point of being married" and I don't know where we stand on the whole thing. I wish I hadn't said anything.
Having sex brings me guilt, shame and pain. It hurts me so much. I've had a lot therapy, but it's hard to trust people. So I give up before I feel rejected. I have a bag full of issues, I just don't want them affecting my only family, my husband.
He is majorly upset, I feel that it's all my fault, that these bad things happened to me. I want it to feel good, I want him to know that I love him so much with or without It, it doesn't matter. I wish he felt the same. He will hardly hold me, touch or kiss after I told him that. He refuses to have sex, which worries me, because he is a man and he said that if I don't want it then he doesn't. I'm confused.
How would you handle this?
Re: I hate sex.
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussOn the one hand, I'm not sure why you got married, or at least why you got married to a man who expects to have an active sex life in his marriage. I mean, that's a legitimate expectation and if having sex is a dealbreaker for you and not having sex is
I went through a similar thing growing up as a child....and it went on for years and years. At the same time, I always had a high sex drive, even though I never had sex until I was with my husband. Even though I cared about him, it was hard at first, t
" I told him how it hurts me to have sex and it's uncomfortable."
Part of what you def you need is very slow, trusting foreplay, gentle vaginal massage(it will hurt but then it will make things better), and trying to be in charge. Looking at the
So your projecting your unresolved hostility onto your husband? I can't believe you got married without resolving your issues. What were you thinking? If you hate sex you should be married to someone who hates sex as much as you.