Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH is to the larger side...and sex is painful :(
I am beyond frustrated and I do not know if this could be the problem. My DH is pretty well endowed and quite honestly, I have never enjoyed sex with him because it is uncomfortable. I would not say PAINFUL, I would just say mostly uncomfortable. I honestly think this is because he is a little too large than what I am used to. I have had a small handful of partners in my life and this was never really an issue. I'm just thinking to myself how much it sucks (yes I love him and no I don't want to be with anyone else)...because the thought of having uncomfortable sex for the rest of my life just sucks (mainly for him since I don't want to have it much because of this). But seriously...having a large one can't be a reason to not marry someone!?!?!
I keep thinking maybe if we do it more often, my body will eventually just get used to the size, but that isn't happening. Foreplay and TONS of lube helps...but its still not what I would call "great" by ANY means. Wine helps too :-) Maybe I just have to suck it up....
Or, I was thinking maybe it could be Vaginismus (the more I keep reading about it on here I wonder....I had never heard of it before til this board).
Re: DH is to the larger side...and sex is painful :(
Your vagina is designed to be able to stretch and accommodate various sized penises (and babies). A large man can initially hurt, but with the proper lubrication, pain should quickly diminish. I don't know what sort of pain you are in, but if it's a burning sensation, it could be a lube problem. It sounds like you have had success with using lubricant, and that your problem isn't so much him being too large, but you not really being into the sex. You can experiment with different positions, maybe get some sex toys, like a vibrator, sex swing to make it more enjoyable for you. I don't think you should ever have to "suck it up" regarding anything, especially not sex. If it's not working, you need to figure out why and try to address the issues. I would also speak with a gyno to make sure everything is working properly and to get a doctor's opinion.
I really hope this helps.
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
You never opened the floor to "Honey, you're so hot and so well endowed and that's great but It hink it would be even hotter if we added more foreplay and slowed down"?
Your larger problem, so to speak, is communication!
If you can't open up to your mate and talk to him about what you want or don't want, that's not great at all.
He's not a mind reader.
You can slow down the action yourself -- and don't forget lube and yep, go s l o w l y!
Sit down with him outside of the bedroom maybe this Saturday and say exactly what I said --- about sex being hotter if you both slowed down and added more foreplay!
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
His humor is well intended but geez...he's not on the receiving end.
Try other positions --- that could help, too.
Yep, doggy style is really the best and least uncomfy position so that is pretty much what we always do, and he seems ok with it. of course, i am sure he would love doing other positions but he has never pressured me about it since he knows that is the least uncomfortable position for me.
Are you not lubricating?
Every time I read a post like this it makes me wonder whether the man is the only person aroused enough to enjoy the sex. And the fact that you said "tons of lube helps" and more foreplay helps makes me think that a LOT.
If you are thoroughly aroused, you should be very wet and very comfortable. Take the time to get there.
This is so sad to me!! no foreplay?!?! Sex, is not just sex- this is about intimacy and pleasing and loving your partner. And though your husband may not show it, he wants to please you- at least I would hope he does. I've read lots of posts likened to this and most are couples who have waited until married. Waiting is awesome, amazing and the ideal- however, this= little sexual experience. So, it takes time.
Additionally, do you know how to please yourself? Personal question- but some times men NEED direction. Knowing what makes you feel good, helps when you're trying to show him what feels good. Believe me- it will be sexy as hell to your man.
***Also, when a woman becomes aroused, the juices start to flow (yes, pun intended) AND the vagina "tents" or opens up, stretching significantly to COMFORTABLY accomodate the "ole soldier". So, if you dread sex and have no time to let this happen- IT WILL HURT.***
Coming from a chick with a fab sex life (to the moon and back, oh yeah)- it does not always start that way- it takes practice, being comfortable with yourself and your partner, love, maybe being a little adventurous from time to time, and communication. (and maybe a little porn, if you're into that)
Also, @mrs johnson, I would specificaly suggest foreplay and a position loving known as the reverse cowgirl, due to the angle of your man's dangle. That would be you on top, but turned around and leaned down a little- grab the man's feet if needed. And, he gets to look at that great booty of yours as you enjoy the ride. IF this was too explicit, sorry!!! Good luck! It will get better