Spending Too Much Time Together

mindi16563

Let me start by saying we've only been married 6 months.  My friends are constantly asking me to do weekends away with them and vacations.  I want to say yes because I don't want to be that girl that gets married and ignores my friends but I really just don't want to go!

One of my best friends just had her bachelorette party last weekend and while I went and it was a good time, the whole time I was counting how long until I could go home to be with the hubby!

I love my friends but I like spending time with my husband, am I just being a wet noddle?  Will this pass? 

doglove

I don't know why you have to spend entire weekends away with your friends. What's wrong with getting together for an evening or during the day? 

 

EastCoastBride

What do you mean by "constantly"? Also, are they all still single?

Big picture, a weekend here or there - I'd go.  Being married is great and all that and I miss my DH when I'm not around him, but I also don't lose sight that I have friends who I want to spend time with too.

However, ONE weekend a year, maybe two, is good.  I wouldn't be doing it on a regular basis, and I wouldn't be spending my vacation days to go away w/ them instead of my DH.

I guess my point is that there is balance. 

mellimel19

I agree with ECB. I get that you are a newlywed and want to spend all your time with your new husband. I'm guessing as you settle more into married life and the newness of being together all the time wears off, that some sort of balance will return to your life and relationships. You don't want to forget that you're not just part of a couple, you are still an individual with your own interests, hobbies and friends. Try to think of how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your friends decided that they didn't want to hang out with you anymore because they only want to spend time with their husbands. I know I would be pretty hurt. If my friends occasionally asked me to do a weekend away, I totally would (and have). But not ALL the time, as I prefer to spend most of my vacation time and money with my H.

nurse714

You have been married 6 months so you are a newlywed so of course you want to be with your husband. Don't feel bad. 

Are your friends married that are constantly asking you to go away for the weekend? I doubt it. To go away for a weekend with friends is fine, but to do it constantly like you say they ask, I see as a problem.

Will it pass? I don't know. I don't think I would ever constantly go away for weekends with friends while married. Can't you just hang out for an evening? 

ROFL ATTACK

First world problems

sprint3310

I think its a great sign that you miss your husband -- it means you really are enjoying your time with him and he's a great partner -- but I don't think you should let that prevent you from spending time with your friends, especially on important weekends like bachelorette parties or big birthdays.  I have a feeling part of why both you and your husband love you is because you are independent, lots of fun, and are a great friend -- so don't totally let that go.

My general rule of thumb is that, if its an important event, I go on the girls' weekend.  If its just a random vacation and I'm short on vacation time, I'll usually try to do a compromise -- just joining for a part of the trip or trying to combine it with a trip I'm taking with my husband.  Recently, I had a girls weekend in San Francisco.  My husband and I flew out together a few days early for our own vacation and then he flew home while I stayed for an extra day to join my friends on the beginning of their trip.

Jimian

I'm with you on this. I just got married in December, and although I love spending time with my girlfriends, a part of me wished my husband can be there to share it with me because I love my husband, and to me, everything is 10x more fun when he's around. It's not that I don't enjoy dancing, going out and chatting with my friends, it's just that I have the most fun when my husband and I are together in our home. 

Aside from that, I also care about the other people in my life and want to have strong relationships with them as well. I think we're just happy newlyweds, and these feelings are normal. As long as you and your hubby are on the same page about your time apart, it's all good. 

jrodgers239

I actually feel the same way, and we aren't even married yet! My fiance works the opposite schedule from me so our weekends are the only real time together that we get so I make sure to plan time with my friends after work during the week and make the plans beforehand so that I can tell him he can sleep in (he wakes up when I get off work so we can eat dinner together) and try to keep my weekends open so I can spend them with him. I usually try to limit my time with my friends to once or twice a week so I still have time for my fiance as much as I can, but I also don't want to be that newlywed that never sees her friends, especially because they are all such a huge help for my upcoming wedding. At the end of the day, if your husband/fiance is the only person you want to talk to/see then it means you have a pretty solid relationship, but don't forget about the people who were there for you before you got married!