Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sex
My sister just died two weeks ago and my father just passed last Saturday and I will be losing my job at the end of this month. My husband just won't quit. I am not in the mood. I am emotionally and physically drained. Am I being unreasonable? bitchy?
Re: Sex
Wow, you have a lot going on right now. I'm so sorry. It is not at all unreasonable to be uninterested in sex for a while in a time like this, and your husband should understand this. It should go without saying for him, but have you told him that you're just going to need some time and support for a while?
By the way, I can't imagine grieving two close family deaths and once and not needing counseling to help me out. Are you in counseling?
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussYes, I will be going to counseling. It's the only thing that is going to help me
at this point. I just need to be held and not getting bugged about sex.
I am so sorry for your losses.
For your husband, sex may be a reaffirmation of life. It may be what comforts him, so he is trying to use sex to comfort you. For my husband, sex is an expression of his love and support. When times are tough and he knows he can't fix the situation, sex can be a reminder of what you have and a way for him to help you feel better. It is not just him wanting to get some, it is him wanting to give in the most elemental way he knows how.
He has to get it that passion waxes and wanes -- and everyday life and what happens in life also can affect passion and desire to have sex.
How is this guy going to act if you're pregnant and you don't want to have sex? or if there was some other circumstance involved?
You are not being unreasonable or bitchy - your husband is. He can take care of himself for a few weeks until your feeling up for it.
And I'm very, very sorry for the loss of your sister and father.
I don't have anything to add, but I did just want to point out that this women get's it.
Sorry for you losses.
I?m so sorry to hear about your family!
I understand why you don?t want to do it, but have talk to him. If you are already in counseling why don?t you ask about it.
I now it can be very frustrating to have to deal with all of it at the same time. But you have to remember that you are still alive, and that you need to try to continue with your life, no matter how.
Don?t give up on life or your husband, he means no harm.
He is probably trying to comfort you by being intimate with you. It's ok that it's not what you want, but know that that is what he is probably trying to do. Sex is a lot more emotional for men than we tend to think it is. Sex makes many men feel loved, desired, comforted, and it's a stress reliever, so he probably thinks it will do the same for you in this situation. Many women think their husbands want to have sex ONLY to release sexual tension, but that's not usually the case.