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WildFlower2350
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OMG Alarm clock is driving me nuts!
in Married Life
This is a stupid vent but Im curious for suggestions. I am one of those people that needs sleep, less than 7 hours and Im miserable. My husband is a very driven person who gets to the office super early and wakes up at 4:30 to do so (he doesn't HAVE to go in then, he just does, though he has a lot of responsibility so I get it) I wake up at 6:30....every morning his alarm clock goes off and he either sleeps through or keeps hitting snooze until i hit him (joking) but seriously at that hour I am so cranky I yell "SHUT IT OFF!!!!" I dont want to be a psycho yelling at that hour but it kinda sucks..Any suggestions? Ive tried ear plugs, Ive slept across the hall (some nights he snores like a champion) and once, I did a combo of the two- ear plugs AND slept in the guest room and he slept through his alarm and I heard it so had to go over there and wake him up. Wow. Anyone else have that going on. (petty i know, but at that hour it seems like hell, we do laugh about after the fact)
Re: OMG Alarm clock is driving me nuts!
It's dangerous. He can get himself a nice case of sleep apnea --- if he is snoring a lot, he needs to see a doc.
What if he gets a light alarm clock and you wear an eyemask. That's what DH and I do on the few occassions that he has to be up before me. I find that the eyemask successfully blocks out all light.
Get him checked for sleep apnea. I usually don't agree with Tarpon since most of her advice goes in the "divorce him without trying to fix things" category but since her post didn't say that...I can agree!
Tell him to set his alarm for a time he will actually wake up so he doesn't constantly hit the snooze button. I'd rather get another hour of uninterrupted sleep than to hit the snooze button every 10 minutes for an hour. You don't have to go pyscho screaming at him for hitting it...simply nudge him and say "stop hitting the snooze and get up babe" I do this to my perpetual snooze-button-hitting-husband and he cooperates because he doesn't like to disturb me.
Also, you don't NEED 7 hours of sleep or you're miserable. You choose to be miserable if you don't get 7 hours of sleep. There is a difference, recognize it. That's just an excuse. Go to bed earlier than 11:30 to ensure you get the 7 hours especially if his snooze button habits are such an annoyance to you.
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
haha, all good points and good to see that i am not alone...in response to a few:
1) he doesn't have sleep apnea, it is on occasion that he snores, not every day and he is in overall good health.
2) i do need 7 hours of sleep, its not that I CHOOSE to be miserable if i don't get it. every medical doctor will tell you proper sleep is paramount to good health. i work full time and teach classes at a gym at night...thus, need the sleep. adults vary but on average, recommended sleep is 7-9 hours a night.
3) we've been married for one year, perhaps i do need more time to adjust
4) im not a total psycho and normally do nudge him but yea, on the rarity that im exhausted i could be compared to a raving lunatic (sarcasm)
5) lastly....thanks for the idea on the light alarm! may look into it! side note- i do think my dear hubby needs more sleep that he gets which explains the snooze alarm (he works full time and is getting an MBA full time, thankfully he graduates in a few weeks) so maybe this will all resolve itself shortly. thanks for all the feedback everyone!
I am a snoozer too. I cannot hear the alarm and just pop up. I need to get up slowly. DH used to wake up and yell at me when we first moved in together, but my attitude was "don't complain, you get to sleep another 2 hours after I leave." I think after a while he just got used to it and now doesn't even flinch when the alarm goes off.
Do you stay awake once his alarm goes off? If not then I agree you should try to get to bed earlier. Or ask him to use an alarm that vibrates (and hope he doesn't sleep through it). I am curious though, why does he feel like he needs to go in that early, even though you said he doesn't HAVE to? There comes a time when health and sleep is a bit more important than what your boss thinks. Maybe once or twice a week he can "sleep in" and go to work at a normal time?
As for the "I need seven hours" thing, I knew a girl who would get physically ill if she did not get exactly 8 hours or more of sleep. She had to change roommates in college because the girl she was living with was a night owl. Some people just do not handle fatigue well.
My H first alarm goes off at 5:30 (sometimes 5am)! Then he snoozes it for a while. He uses his phone and has different alarms set (to simulate snoozing) and each one sounds different. He will change up the sounds so he doesn't get used to them and sleep threw.
I tend to fall asleep before him so I get enough sleep. I am one of those people who can not function without enough good sleep. That's normally 7or8 hours for me. If I don't get proper sleep and enough of it I can not function. And I just can't drink coffe to wake me up (if I drank coffe I would get sick and the day would be wasted).
I am a snoozer and my husband has been quite annoyed at me as well for the endless snoozing when he is sleeping in the morning. I am not sure if there is any solution other than your hubby making an effort to get up after the first couple snoozes so you don't have to suffer too long, but warning, coming from a snoozer herself, this is much harder said than done.
I think it's a bit concerning that you choose to not sleep in same bed with him because of this problem, or the snoring. I would try to find solutions to these problems first rather than choosing not to sleep with him altogether. Good luck!
This is what I was wondering too. I feel sympathy for OP's husband because that's who I am in my marriage. I NEED to hit snooze a few times or I can't get up and function. I just can't get right up when it rings. DH hated it but got used to it. I don't know when. We're 12 years into living together now.
My husband and I had the same issues when we first moved in together. I suggest a compromise, he used to hit the snooze no less then 7 or 8 times, we compromised on at most 3 snoozes.
I also use a fan in the room to block out noise as my husband occasionally snores as well. I am a super light sleeper and even the sound of him breathing can keep me up.
And lastly, it probably took several years, but I am usually able to fall asleep now after the snooze, but I still have days where I lay there and can't fall back asleep! It's annoying haha.
I'm one of those people who definitely needs EIGHT hours of sleep, or otherwise I'm dragging most of the day. DH also sleeps about the same amount of hours and we go to bed/get up at the same time. However, he has to take medication early every morning (like 3am). He also knows that I'm a very light sleeper and don't like to be woken up.
So he got the idea of using an old cell phone and sets it to vibrate. He puts it under his pillow and the vibration wakes him up. He gets up right away and doesn't hit snooze. I sometimes feel the vibration and wake up a little, but immediately go back to sleep. Most of the time, I don't even feel it at all.
ohhh i like the idea of the cell phone vibration, ill mention that!. a previous post mentioned looking into solutions rather than going in the other room. i dont do that often but once in a while, if i have an early meeting and its midnight and the snoring is loud and the alarm is about go off in less than 5 hours i just feel its a better choice then to lay there tossing and turning. ill be perfectly honest its probably also due to my parents modeling..they've slept in separate rooms forever. they have a great marriage, been together 43 years but my dad likes the room cold with minimal blankets, my mom likes windows shut with a thousand comforters, he snores, she's a light sleeper. he is early to bed early to rise and she's a night owl. so for them they are much happier to be around each other after a good night sleep. i def. dont want to do that always, but if it means we both sleep well. whats the big deal?
it does sound like something i need to get used to. he has an iphone and switches up the sounds ( i particularly enjoy the quacking ducks, NOT). But seriously, I commend him on his dedication to his work. He is very driven and feels like he needs to be in at those god awful hours to work, work, work. He is a carbon copy of his dad who was the same way. thanks for all the comments. clearly other people deal with this too. ironically i had a roommate in college when six of us lived in a 2 story house. she slept like the dead and bought an alarm that sounded like the siren of a firehouse, that loud. the other five roommates would bum rush her room b/c we heard it before she did!
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Assuming you both have iPhones (or at least your husband does), I'd check out the Sleep Cycle application. I think it's free (or very cheap), and it works well. You plug your iPhone in, open up the app, and put the phone face down on the mattress under the sheets. Not only does it track sleep based on movement, but it uses a soft tone along with vibration to wake you up--and it works great for that. You can snooze by hitting the phone. I'm a big snoozer and it worked great for me. It shouldn't wake the spouse up.
The biggest problem I have right now is we switched to a deeper mattress and my iPhone cord isn't long enough. I'm thinking about putting a very large buttonhole in the sheet to accommodate the phone.
The other option is to go to bed earlier than he does so that when he wakes up earlier, you've gotten a solid 7 hours. Is that at all a possibility?