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1st birthday party question...
As I'm sure you all know (since I mention it a lot haha) my son was a preemie. Because of that a lot of people still haven't met him since we had to keep him away from crowds/kids etc all winter. So his first birthday party is kind of his coming out in a way. DH has a huge family and we have a lot of close friends that we'd like to invite. We rented a big pavilion with a playground but I'm getting concerned. Our guest list is already 150 people and we just realized we have more people to add! I know a lot of people can't/won't come so I don't expect nearly that many but I'm wondering if it is rude to even invite that many people! Will people be upset if they don't get to see him a lot? I also don't want it to seem gift grabby... it's not about that at all but MIL had a fit when I mentioned having a no gift party. She told me it was rude to tell people not to buy him gifts????? I don't feel like starting a war by putting it on the invites. I also know if I tell my family not to get him gifts they will listen to me and his family won't and then my family will look like idiots that day to the people who aren't in the know.
What would you do? We cannot afford/ do not have time to throw multiple parties. This party will cost us a pretty penny with the location rental and all so we would like to do it all at once.
Re: 1st birthday party question...
If you are worried about seeming gift grabby (which I don't think you have to be worried about - it's his first bday
), maybe you could word the invitation a little differently than most. Maybe you could add something to the invite along the lines of "DS is so excited to finally be able to meet everyone ... yada yada yada." That way you can focus on the fact that this party is also a chance for everyone to finally get to see the little guy not just your run of the mill invite everyone under the son to a first bday. Good luck!!
Whoa. 150 people is a decent sized wedding. Can I ask why do you feel like you have to invite all these folks? I understand lots haven't met him yet but that just seems like a lot.
ETA: not being snarky, just genuinely curious!
coming from two big families and lots of close friends, I totally get the crazy large guest list. If you can do the big party, do it! And people will say, it's not for him its for you, who cares, enjoy and celebrate your little guy and his special day!
And I wouldn't put anything on the invite, people are going to bring gifts regardless, I feel like putting that just makes it awkward because then people aren't sure what to do . In fact, I never heard of this until Nest world so I think it is another crazy idea the nest gods made up to make us overthink yet another parenting decision. It is a party, a celebration, let people shower him with gifts, I would never show up to a party without something in hand regardless of what the invitation says
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
This.
But I also suggest not opening the gifts at the party. Take them home with you and open them there later. I've been to lots of 1st birthdays and this is becoming more and more common. Especially with 150 people, a 1 year old just doesn't have the tolerance for such an activity.
I am 100% with Kelly. We had around 100 on our invite list and it could have easily been larger (about 80 ended up coming). If H and I just invited our aunts, uncles, and cousins and their kiddos we are at 100. The disturbing part about this is- we are close with all of them and see them all the time.
Do it. Have fun. Embrace the crazy.
Keep all of the gift receipts and use it for his fall clothes and Christmas presents.
No mention of gifts on the invites. People will decide for themselves.
150+ sounds crazy to me, if only because it's too many people for anyone to really get to properly see the birthday boy. We invited about 50 adults and 15 kids to DS's party, and I felt like that was a lot. We could easily have gotten to 100 if we had included everyone we wanted to, but just felt like that was too much.
Don't worry, I didn't think you were being snarky!
MIL is one of 10! so if we even include all of DH's aunts and uncles and cousins we are well over 50 people not including FIL's side and my family! we are close with a majority of them and I don't want to get into the "you invited them but not me" fight... which will come. I tried to throw DH a small 30th birthday party. his aunt threw a freaking fit that we did not invite family (it was ONLY for friends) and I ended up having to pay for a 75 person party with open bar and all... only 8 months after our wedding! I was furious but my MIL literally made me cry several times telling me that DH would be really upset with me if I didn't invite them all and that I would RUIN his birthday! Don't you love my MIL??
FWIW our wedding invite list was only 220... and all but 40 of them were family... we are not inviting everyone that came to the wedding but with kids added in this time that is the difference. We also have a few families with multiple kids so one family could be 6 people... AHHH Our birthday guest list only includes 12-15 VERY close friends!
Good suggestion with not opening presents there. Maybe I will have him open one or two from grandparents or something so people can see him open them but I doubt he will even care about it. I also have a feeling there are going to be a TON of duplicates so I don't want people being upset if they see he got 3 of whatever they got him!
ETA- I should add that a lot of the guests at the party will be kids. I don't see them worrying about seeing DS too much. they will be at the playground instead.
This is going to cost me a fortune!
You didnt ask, but I highly suggest a designated photographer for the event, especially if so many people will be there. Whether you hire someone, ask a friend, pay a talented college student or whatever...
Having limited quality photos of milestone events, and being in almost none of the photos myself, is one personal regret Im trying to change for the future so maybe you can learn from my oversights.
If you didn't want a ton of gifts, you could always put on the invite 'in lieu of gifts, we will be collecting toys for X charity/group'.
We did this for J's 1st birthday party because we had about 60 people and I didn't want a ton of stuff. Yes, a couple people still bought him things but overall, I think it worked out nicely.
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
great suggestions, especially about the photographer! I am going to have to look into that.
hmmm I wonder where to look!
I've thought about doing the charity as well. I have to talk to DH about it... I'd love to collect for the March of Dimes!
I totally hear you on inviting an army...this was us for DD's christening. We invited 135 people and only about 10 didn't show. It was actually really nice.
For DD's 1st bday we will have a pool party at our house, and I expect about the same amount on the invite list for that. Great suggestions to donate in lieu of gifts and to hire a photographer.
We had 100 people at Austin's first birthday and that didn't include H's extended family (they're in Boston). It was one of the best days of my life! He was so excited and danced and clapped the entire time- so much fun!
I wouldn't mention anything about a gift. He's a baby- people like buying him gifts! We also opened gifts at home. Have fun- it was seriously a day I will never forget.