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Love you all!
First off, I have to thank PhillyGal for helping me with my update earlier! I was so hooked up earlier, I didn't have much energy to post so I wanted her to pass along what was happening. Now I'm "unhooked" again just baking some babies, so I wanted to send an further update and thank you all for the AMAZING care package. It was so thoughtful and much appreciated! Especially now that I've indeed been readmitted.
My Mom has been visiting and helping take care of me while my DH works, so she took me to my doc appointment on Monday for a cervical check and low and behold, in one week I had jumped to 3+cm with a bulging water bag. Last week she sent me home with no change, so it kinda rocked my world in one week how much had changed. BUT, I had an amazing 2 and a half weeks at home even if it was just laying around with lots of family & friends visiting. So mentally I'm in a much better place. Although with this admission, I am going to expect to be here for much longer I'm assuming. Unless I deliver babies tomorrow. It could be a possibility and I'll explain why.
My heart rate has been extremely elevated since I've been here and they
can't figure out why. I present no signs of infection, blood clots,
etc however just because infection doesn't present, they could be catching it early or it's there, yet I have no other signs of distress. The problem with this *possible* infection is what is happening or what could happen with the babies. They are great now with great heart rates. So docs want to do a double amnio tomorrow to rule out infection possibility. If the amnio shows there is an infection, then babies should be delivered ASAP. They cannot be treated in utero, therefore, they would need to be treated on the outside world, aka the NICU. I initially said no because amnio freaked me out. But with much discussion, it was decided we should do it. If I don't do amnio, I could stay here cooking at 3-4cm a few more weeks, babies could be infected, and it would be a much scarier outcome for them even if they are cooked longer. They could be much sicker. As much as I don't want these babies to come out tomorrow or this week, I know this is what is best for them and they are in very good hands. Because I'm approaching 3rd tri, there's no risk to the babies with the amnio, just risk of my water breaking, It's a 1 in 500 chance, so I just have to take the risk .
Best case scenario! Amnio goes well, no infection, and then I sit here and bake them. They also sometimes send patients home at 28-30w if they feel they are stable. I think it's doubtful I'd go home again, but it could be a pipe dream since docs have said it has happened before. My intuition says I will probably go into labor before then, but I have no idea what my body wants to do. This pregnancy stuff is for the birds!
Crappy scenario would be delivering tomorrow if they are infected. Or if my water does break, they'll just keep me and monitor me until I go into labor or induce at 34w.
The real reason I wanted to jump on was to thank all of you amazing ladies for the care package. I totally cried and loved the thought put into it and especially thank you to the ladies who organized it and sent it! The coloring books are hilarious (Coloring Book for Pregnant Ladies & Unicorns are Jerks) and I loved the socks, lush goodies, nail polish, and all the other fun stuff to keep me occupied. The gift cards to iTunes & Amazon are awesome and since the May book club book has been extended, I better get on that and purchase it :-)
Thanks again to everyone for being a huge support system for me since I've learned so much from those who shared their birth stories, even if it was years ago. I know I cried for those who had the horrible birth experiences with awful emergency C's.. complications...preemies...teeny babies in need of heart repair (esyn & kernal!) But I would have NEVER been able to go through this without having this knowledge of all of these stories. I wouldn't have known the questions to ask here at the hospital as I've realized, you really have to be your own advocate and push for what you want.
I had a meltdown this afternoon because they wanted to keep my catheter in for no good reason, I decided umm no. I'm the patient and I say no. I know they'd rather measure my urine that way for the collection they were doing, but they had an alternative method. After 24 hrs with a catheter, I was in loads of pain and doc basically told me that he couldn't force me. So it was a good lesson - if something is not working for you, you can refuse!
Sorry this is so long, but clearly I've had no sleep and am rambling... will send another update later this week if babies come or if they are still cooking!
Re: Love you all!
First, please know you, your DH and the babies are in my prayers that all goes well and they are able to stay healthy and cook a little while longer. Also that you continue to be in a good place mentally. You seem so clear headed and strong and that is the best thing you can do right now for your littles. Keep up the good work!
You are quite welcome for the basket. Glad you enjoyed it
Well it's no wonder your heart rate is slightly elevated! Who can blame you for that? You're handling all of this like a champ. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we're all so proud of you, love you and are pulling for you.
Good for you for being firm about the cath. You are your best advocate. I hope having it removed gave you some relief.
If you need the distraction, we can always go troll TB. Just say the word and we'll go stir up trouble to keep you entertained.
Take care of yourself boo! We're here for you!
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
Thanks all! Going from 24w to 27w, 1 day today is awesome! Babies have a much better chance of survival, in fact, we went from 50% at 24w to around 90% now. So of course I'm in a better place. It's just scarier now that all signs are leading to delivery soon... and I'm still not ready. But again, who the heck knows
I'll laugh if I'm still here at 36w! It's just good that the odds are in our favor and although we risk a lot of disability factors between 27-30w, survival rates are good and so many people have told me about their 24+ weekers being healthy, happy children now so that makes me keep my chin up.
Oh and now I have mild pre-e! But they said it's mild and they just want to watch it.
OB saw me this AM and tried to talk me out of vaginal birth and I'm kinda annoyed about that. It's just because they are worried about if baby A comes out, what will happen with Baby B being transverse. But I am pushing for a doctor to deliver me that feels really confident in breech extraction. If not, I just have to deal with my decision later if I have the double whammy vag + c. This is all I got left from this pregnancy/birth experience so dammit, I want this!
Oh, and when I go to amnio this afternoon, I find out how big they are! Last weigh in 3 weeks ago was 1lb, 9oz (boy) and 1lb, 6oz (girl). I'm sure they are over 2lbs each now. Hoping to beg them to turn on 3D so I can see their little faces! I figured, jeez, it's the LEAST they can do for me!Sorry my quick updates turn into novels, you know me
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
I'm hoping and praying for best-case scenarios for all three of you! Glad you are in good spirits, being your best advocate, and just getting by as best you can.
PS: If you ever come across neotatologist Dr. Kelly Wade, she is amazing. She was Oliver's doctor when he was in the ICN there 3 years ago. I still remember her and think about her often. I even emailed her when we found out about Graeme's heart condition, for general advice and recommendations for a cardiologist.
Glad you are doing so well today! I've been thinking about you!
This is NOT meant to make light of anything but I can say the one "good thing" about preemies is that vaginal births are SOOO much easier! My son was 3lbs 5 oz and I only had to push 3 times and he literally... as in literally... shot into the doctor's hands and she had to catch him (oops!)! You are doing an awesome job and as hard as being there is, every second counts. I think they say that every day the baby stays in is 3 less in NICU. Not sure if that is accurate at all but it is something to motivate you!
Have you asked about going down to see the NICU? I know we talked about it before but I'm not sure if you wanted to. You are doing so great ... your babies are super proud of their mama I can tell!!!
You're doing a great job advocating for yourself and your babies. You should be proud.
It's prob a good thing you had the cath removed. Unnecessary cath'ing can lead to infections and those can aggravate preterm labor! Other options that might be viable are using a bedpan or commode or even straight cathing (putting in a one time cath to empty your bladder as needed).
I hope you're able to get the birth you want. Have you asked what your options are if baby B does flip? I'd imagine their relative size would work in your favor. Is there a way to turn him/her in utero if that happens? I feel like my sister has told me she's done this before when delivering twins. I could be making that up though. Also, do they share a placenta and amniotic sac? Sorry for all the questions. I'm so curious.
I'm glad you're in a better place mentally. You sound a lot better. I guess you just gotta take it a little bit at a time and pray for every additional second they get inside, right? The advances that have been made in caring for preemies and micropreemies even in recent years have been unbelievable and it's good to know if it is necessary for you guys. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and I'll pray that all of you are safe and healthy no matter when they deliver your kids.