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PhillyGal34
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
For all the Twin parents... what an a$$
have you read this???
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/babblecom/my-wife-is-expecting-twins_b_3141819.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=3727735,b=facebook
WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our little hippo was as impatient as mom!
Hoping for a full 40 weeks!!
Re: For all the Twin parents... what an a$$
I preface this by saying this whole "I Hate My Kids" genre of internet postings are overdone and annoying.
But the sentiment?
We had to use a RE the first time and ended up with a single. We were terrified about having to do it again because we absolutely under no circusmstances wanted multiples.
Luckily second time around I got drunk and pregnant the way the good lord intended.
I also think once you have one, you realize that kids are no effing joke and tend to be more realistic about just how much work it is.
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
You know, I can't get all worked up about this. Like half of what he says is at least partially true. I'm sure it's terrifying to be expecting twins and he's probably just ranting.
I love my daughter and am grateful for her every day, but like Amy said it's no damnn joke and many days it's even just no fun.
I agree but I think this crossed the line. If I found out I was having twins next time would I be scared out of my mind? YES! would the thought of aborting one of them even cross my mind? oh heII no! yes they are a lot of work and the first year can be insanely difficult but to say that you don't even like your unborn children? or to say that while the health is important yours is too? I'm sorry but when you have kids part of the deal IMO is that they come first.
I also agree that SOME of this could be just him venting. it is completely natural to be scared or terrified. When we got pregnant people told us I was going to have twins ... not sure why but everyone said our families were due for some. The idea scared me a lot and I think parents of multiples are super human for being able to raise the kids and still have time to brush their teeth because I cannot fathom that.
And like PP said. Heaven forbid these kids ever find out their dad wrote this. oi vey!
Nope. The overwhelming amount of anxiety I had with my second pregnancy was "What if something happens to me or I can't take care of DS1?" I was sure as *** more worried about my health, because I now I had an actual child here depending on me.
I like this article better:
www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/12/to-parents-of-small-children-let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud/
When I was lying on the hospital bed and they asked me "if it is you or the baby what do we do" I didn't think for a second. I don't think there would be a question next time either. I wouldn't put myself before them and honestly I think the father in this article meant that they would be tired and stressed... WAAHHHHHH that comes with being a parent... not just a multiple parent. I don't think he meant something SERIOUS with his health.
My little nuggets
I still get overwhelming fears that something is going to happen to me or my dh and we're not going to be able to see through raising her. Having a kid made me more aware and concerned about my health not less. They come first but if something is wrong with you you're not going to be able to be your best at parenting.
I think both articles have the same point... but this one doesn't mention hoping there is a genetic problem with your baby so you can abort them... This parent I want to hug and not beat.
Seriously, he'd feel like absolute shiit.
would he????
Could not agree more. The first time I read one of these pieces I felt like it was refreshingly honest. But seriously, how many times is the HuffPo going to run one of these?
Tangentally related, do any of you "like" HonestToddler on facebook?
Its kidisms from a toddler's point of view and usually they are quite funny, witty, or at least cute. Todays post "If cats dont want to be relaxed on, why are they made out of blanket material. Mixed messages"
One of my other recent favorites "Its hard to take adults seriously when you realize that their greatest fears are Mondays and Carbohydrates"
I would imagine he would be. He seems like a frustrated and scared parent. Not a sadistic sociopath.
there are a lot of anti-kid rants out there like Amy said, but many of them still have a few zingers here and there and often ring true.
So with this guy. Is it harsh? hellyeah.
but i can relate to a lot of what he said. Having a child was something that we decided to do together, but were so scared shitless that the second guessing of our actions was very very very present daily, maybe not to the point of "disliking" the unborn, but nearing the point of vomiting over having made the wrong choice.
I generally dislike my fetuses. They are parasites that knock me out.
My and fetusus are not friends.
Also, prepare yourself, because toddlers can be kind of a-holish too.
LMAO
I love him so much.
Later as I was trying to hide a home furnishing I?d damaged behind some drapes I saw mommy sitting on the couch talking to someone. He couldn?t have been more than 16-months old. Overalls made out of khaki material, white collared short-sleeved Circo. I was fine until I saw her laugh her beautiful sparkly laugh and pat him on the head. Like lightning I headed over there prepared to say something casual like, ?What are you guys taking about?? but it came out, ?NO!?
The big infant acted like he didn?t even see me and kept the conversation going.
?I two trucks. Two trucks. Gween. Two gween trucks.?
?Cool story, bro,? I stepped between him and my mom, ?Did you come here with someone??
He continued to ignore me and tried to regain eye contact with m?lady whose lap I had now managed to climb on to.
Reaching into his pocket he pulled out two Hot Wheels and would given them to her if I hadn?t hit them both out of his hand. He laughed like we were playing.
?Broseph. You need to move along.? He kept staring at me and it wasn?t until I finally knocked him off balance with my foot that he backed away. I turned to my mom. Can?t leave you alone for a minute, can I? She whispered something about gentle feet.
Obsessed with HT.
haha ok you win on that point.
I don't want to come across like I don't ever get frustrated or tired or upset or scared... I have and I do. I am fortunate that despite the unexpected end to my pregnancy, my pregnancy was great and my son is insanely good and a good sleeper and all that jazz... don't worry, my next one will be a terror I am already mentally preparing for the heII that is coming when we have another. so maybe I don't have the perspective that I need to give this guy an ounce of sympathy but there are just so many things that he said that took it too far for me. I also do not want to come across as "I am a better parent" although come on, this guy isn't setting the standard very high is he?? this isn't about parenting, it is about not being a total d-bag.
These are the statements that really tick me off... (in addition to the health one discussed above)
"To say we're excited would be an exaggeration. More truthfully, we're pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful."
even at your most tired moment did you ever regret your child? I surely never did even when I was sitting in NICU for the 25th day and looking at our half million dollars in medical bills racking up.
"My initial reaction was full of disappointment ..."
Disappointed over your children? what happens when one of them isn't a straight A student?
"we found ourselves wishing these twins away. " WHAT?!?!
"We considered a reduction for about 30 seconds. (That's essentially an abortion of one twin, not both.) If you thought that IVF involved playing God, a reduction felt beyond brazen -- Machiavellian, even. Give us a reason, we thought, as we had the twins tested for genetic anomalies. None came. "
So if you aren't perfect we don't want you. great lesson for your children.
"So tell me how this isn't going to suck. (Did I mention we live in a one-bedroom apartment?) "
I think 4 people in a one bedroom apartment sounds really hard so I'm not sure what he expected!?!?! And it won't suck because you will hopefully have two awesome little kids that will grow up to not be anything like you!
The other part of this to me is that if this is what he is willing to admit to on here what else hasn't he said. and what has he said in front of his other child and to others? this will eventually get back to the kids.
and why not pursue adoption if he doesn't want these children at all? there are other parents who would love these kids... both of them.
Not all people are happy about all pregnancies. And not all people want to bring all pregnancies to terms for any number of reasons, including various medical conditions.
The whole "He should be happy about what he gets" is super icky to me.
this dudes feelings about fetuses can be wholly different than his feelings for the babies when they come. give him a break! he isn't going to stick them in a corner and leave them there hoping they'll feed themselves. he is fearful and a shitload of other things right now and I don't blame him.
but this wasn't a surprise... they were TRYING and sought out medical help and chose to put two embryos in. it isn't like she was raped or found out she was pregnant and it would cause medical problems for her or the baby... they paid 10s of thousands of dollars for this result! And to HOPE for a genetic problem? that is disgusting to me. From everything in this article (which is all I have to go on) there is nothing wrong with the mother or the babies other than the parents being selfish. Neither the children or the mother are at risk medically... this is a personal preference. which is what makes this sick to me.
ETA I also want to be clear that I am not saying there are not reasons that people can choose to abort a fetus. I am pro-choice. I'm just saying that to hope for a reason upsets me. I also think he is making light of how hard that would be if they had to do it for some reason. Abortions are emotionally and physically difficult for most women or at least the very few I've ever known. It isn't like she would abort one and everything would be all better!
i can agree with your first sentence in a "normal circumstance" but they went through ivf and put back two embryos!! What the hell did he expect?? If you're going to go that route then yeah, he should be happy with what he has. That was no easy feat and you sign papers saying you understand you can have twins and you're ok with it! That part blows my mind.
My little nuggets
This is not an "article" -- its a column.
This isn't the story about some man -- its an entertainment piece written for HuffPo.
I call eight shades of bullshit to anyone who can honestly say thoughts like this never ever crossed their mind in pregnancy.
I TRIED to get pregnant too, and I assure you if I found out I was having more than one, lots of thoughts would have crossed my mind, not all of them good.
Also, let's be real -- lots of people do fertility treatments and end up with zero kids -- multiples are the exception, not the rule.
Yeah, but they never terminated, right? I mean i could sign all the paperwork in the world, that doesn't mean I wouldn't have fleeting thoughts.
This is a column giving voice to doubts.
I would be FREAKED out if I got pregnant with twins right now. Tommy is and was a lot to handle since birth but honestly most kids are. I can totally relate to his fears about the future but he was pretty bleak. There was no, even though this isn't what we wanted we know it will all work out in the end.
I hope this is just a piece he wrote about his fears and he does have SOME excitement about the future with his twins