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To cruise or not to cruise
My dh and I have been married for 1 1/2 yrs, and have a beautiful baby boy. With the stressors of work, having a baby and the fact that the coming summer months are very busy at work for me, we recently booked a much needed cruise, for the first week of June. Fortunately, my mother watches our son and would do so while we are away.
Two days after booking the cruise I received notification that my aunt was hospitalized with a brain tumor. Needless to say my mother has been worried sick and a nervous wreck. My aunt resides overseas and has no one else but her brother (my uncle) to care for her. My mother intends on traveling to see and care for her sister. I too want to see her, especially since I haven't seen her in over 10 yrs, she is very dear to my heart.
My aunt needs help now, not to mention she feels very alone. If my mother and I go, it would overlap with the scheduled cruise with my husband. The airfare to visit my aunt is expensive and the more we get into June, even more expensive. When I presented to my dear husband the before mentioned he got angry. He says my mother and I are making more, thinking the worst. Since my aunt was discharged, my husband feels she is not in danger ( she is actually at risk for convulsing which can be deadly as per dr). My sensitive husband also states that its not fair to him, that its our vacation and that I'm being unreasonable for not compromising. His compromising suggestion: that we go after the cruise. He also reiterates tha we will lose the money paid for the cruise, which is true since the cruise is three weeks away and my aunt is no longer in the hospital.
i feel so hurt and angry as to how insensitive and selfish he is being. Sometimes in a marriage one has to sacrifice, but in this case when it directly impacts him, he wants me to "compromise". Am I being unreasonable or expecting too much fom my husband?
Re: To cruise or not to cruise
I agree, I'd go on cruise
I'm with PPs that going after doesn't sound like a big deal.
As for this, you can't tell your mom when she can leave the country. If she wants to go without you while you're on the cruise, you need to arrange something else for your son. Do you have friends or siblings living nearby who would be willing to take him in exchange for your promise to take their kids later? Or, can you bring your son with you? I don't know how old he is, but if he's young, it may not cost much at all to bring him on the cruise.
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussAt 1 1/2, he may cruise for free depending on the cruise line (aside from taxes and port charges). At most, he would be charged the third person rate. I'd call the cruise line and see about adding him.
Sadly, this is where having trip insurance would have been beneficial. You could have cancelled the cruise and not lost anything.
And I hate to put this out there, but my mom was diagnosed w/ lung cancer and had many tumors. She was discharged after her initial diagnosis - but she died 2 months later.
Your aunt not being in hospice doesn't mean she's 'fine' and has a long ways to go. For HER sake and your family, I hope this was caught early and that there is a good prognosis. BUT the point being that your DH seems to think that her being discharged means she's not in danger may be very woefully wrong.
Honestly, I'm almost seeing red at your DH's attitude. I'd bet you that is if this were HIS family, he'd be singing a different tune.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
You shoul talk about options not just with him but your mother too. It is a dificult situation the one you have, but you can try to get a way arround the issue.
If you will go to the cruise depens on you, and you only. This is a desition that you need to make between your husband and your aunt.
This is the only part that makes me wonder if I should be on your H's side. I always roll my eyes when people suddenly declare how important some random relative is to them when they haven't seen said relative in decades.
Unfortunately, I wouldn't count on this.
I don't know what cruise line the OP is on, but most of the mainstream cruise lines have a similar policy. Once you're past final payment they usually won't issue refunds nor will they allow you to reschedule. This is why the cruise line sells trip insurance and why there are other companies that do similar. When you have 2000-5000 people sailing on a ship, there's always someone who has to cancel and they always have some unplanned emergency that came up.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10