Decorating & Renovating
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bare Walls?!
My husband and I did not live together until 2 weeks before we were married. Now that we're living together (I moved into his house he bought 3 years ago) I want to look like my house, too. I'm used to having pictures on the walls, some d?cor around the house and he wants nothing of it! After showing him, I put some pictures of us, family & friends on an end table and he freaked out, saying I was making the house look "cluttered". He's a contractor and I asked if he could build some shelving units for the walls so my things would be out of the way. He said he likes bare walls with as little as possible.....Still to no avail, my pictures went back in bubble wrap in their boxes.
What happens now?!
Re: Bare Walls?!
Well....
It sounds like 2 things are going on here and only one pertains to design and decor.
More importantly, there is a relationship issue at hand here. You two are married now, so that means you need to figure out ways to make all aspects of your lives mesh. If you don't figure this out now, this type of thing can mean you live your entire life in a box and your husband gets to call the shots.
I know wall decor seems like no big deal, but the issue here is your new husband's unwillingness to compromise and value your opinions. Things like this begin small and magnify over time.
This has nothing to do with your husband's chosen occupation either. It's about his control...there are plenty of contractor/designer/architect types who have no trouble seeing that they share a space with loved ones and that they need and ought to work together with them to make a space all parties can love and enjoy.
If your husband is a visual person, why not find some magazine pics or online pics of decor themes you like and show him how it doesn't have to be "cluttered" to still add in your personal tastes? Try Pinterest or www.houzz.com or get free catalogs from furniture/home decor stores.
Above all - don't go into attack mode. You can ask him questions like, "How do you see my interests and tastes fitting into our home?" "What is your perspectve on me making a nest here as your wife?" "I think it's awesome you can provide us this house as newly-weds. I am very excited and I want to begin building a life here as a team. How do you think we can best work together to achieve a home that reflects both of us now that we are married?"
Also, have a list of things that are important to you in your living spaces. Just a few key ones.
You have some good advice above and I agree, this is a signal of something more than pictures on the wall. I would go BATTY if I couldn't have things on my walls, and I take great pains to design areas with family pictures and artwork that I like.
MommyLiberty5013 has provided you with dialogue you can use to start the conversation. I do tend to blow things out of proportion, and her suggestions are more refined and a lighter touch than I would supply, LOL.
There is a difference between a "house" and a "home". A home is somewhere that looks lived in and is a refuge from the world outside. Showing your husband pictures that have tasteful decor and the room is filled with an aura of "someone lives here" are important.
Good luck.
Thank you so much for the advice!
I saved some things I found on Pinterest and I thought I'd show him one or two and proceed with the conversation from there. I'm just keeping it in the back of my mind not to go all kinds of crazy defensive person on him!
Smart.
I also wanted to provide a design idea...what about doing a gallery wall with clean lines and matching frames of varioius sizes to encompass the photographs that are important?