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Masturbation killing sex life
This post will piss a lot of you masturbationers off. However, I still must share what I have found to be true about masturbating. Throughout my adolescence I was an avid self-gratifier and would do so about once a day. When I finally got married years later, I was a virgin and hadn't masturbated in about 5 years.
I have found that sex is much harder to "get off" on than masturbating and a recent article I read explains this problem perfectly. In the article (which was on AOL several months ago) it stated that when one masturbates, a new pathway is created in the brain that is associated with pleasure or orgasm. While we masturbate, we are teaching our brain that this is the way we have an orgasm/this is what turns us on. Having masturbated for years before actually having sex, I believe I trained my brain and I am now having to retrain my brain to orgasm through sex.
I hear of many women on this site that are dissatisfied in the bedroom because their husband never wants sex and I do believe masturbating could be the source of their man's lack of interest.
Anyhow, just an interesting thought to throw out there.
Re: Masturbation killing sex life
Um, no, actually. Masturbation helps with having orgasms more frequently. Having more orgasms leads to wanting more, which leads to actually wanting sex and thus having more of it. Being a prudish tightwad leads to not enjoying sex and not being able to get off.
By the way, a large proportion of women cannot physically orgasm from penetration alone, because it doesn't stimulate the main cluster of nerve cells, i.e. the clit. Also, FTR, I can and do achieve orgasm different ways depending on what kind of sex I am having: solo (vibe, usually), oral, or penetrative. My neural pathways are working just fine, TYVM.
ETA: some articles in support of masturbation that took about 10 seconds to find, including one from the very conservative Fox News.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,401722,00.html
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/question/faq-masturbation-dangerous
http://www.besthealthmag.ca/embrace-life/wellness/6-healthy-reasons-to-masturbate
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/masturbation-1
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussYeah, I'm not buying this. I've masturbated, used vibrators, and I almost always have an orgasm during sex, be it vaginal or oral. Sometimes twice! I think masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy and CONTRIBUTES to a solid sex life between couples.
OP - if you're having trouble having an orgasm from sex, I doubt your self-gratifying tendencies from a decade ago have anything to do with it. On the contrary, I imagine a lack of orgasms over the years is making it harder for you to have an orgasm. If I were you, I'd pick up where you left off and chances are, your sex life with your husband will get exponentially better as time goes on.
Good luck.
Let me say that I have no problem reaching orgasm during sex. However, my husband has to work hard to get me there. Much harder than I did when I stimulated myself.
Was thinking this exact thing while reading the original post. Just because you can't orgasm from penetration doesn't mean it's because you used to masturbate. Have you tried masturbating while you're having sex? Have you tried having your partner get you off manually? There are plenty of options out there.
I would say that is still pretty normal. Your partner doesn't know EXACTLY what movement will feel good in which way. It's of course easier for you to pleasure yourself. I still don't think it has anything to do with masturbation, but just my opinion.
Um that's because he's not psychic. Not because you got yourself off as a teenager. Since he's not reading your mind while touching you, yeah, chances are he has to do a bit more work than you would yourself.
Team Masturbation!
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
It's totally normal for women to touch themselves during sex in order to reach orgasm.
Chronic masturbation can kill a man's sex drive. It also can help if there is unequal desire between spouses.
Have you tried stimulating yourself during penetration?
After reading all these responses, I think I've realized my original post doesn't quite explain what I meant to say. The real issue I was trying to get at was that it used to be much easier for me to become horny or aroused through masturbation. Without masturbating, it is difficult for me to get in the mood. I am having to learn how to become aroused by the touch of my husband rather than doing it myself.
When it comes to orgasm-- I orgasm almost every time we have sex, and the husband makes sure that he is doing much more than just penetration. Hope this clears up my confusing original post!
Then you're doing it backwards. He should be learning what touches arouse you.
Then show him where and how you're aroused. There's nothing hotter than a joint effort.
Just show him what you do when you're alone. You don't have to train your body to like something it doesn't. You know what works. Show him. You're making this more complicated than it needs to be.
LMAO. ^^
Talk to your partner about what feels good! Sometimes I'll let DH know when I REALLY like something.. and he normally remembers for the next time.