Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bored Newlywed!
My Husband and I have been married around 6 months and have been extremely busy since the wedding. I've been desperately trying to get some quality time with him but with little to no success. If we manage to get out of the house on Saturday night, we usually end up with our friends and family, which turns into an overnight/Sunday event. I really enjoy spending time with our family and friends, but I'm worried that that's all we have. We're not romantic at all, since we've always got someone around, and we usually have sex on Sunday night. Our schedules do not allow any other time, other than the occasional quickie throughout the week. I'm ready to pull my hair out, since he acts like it's no big deal, and constantly seeks other friendships and social engagements. I'm feeling neglected and very secondary...am I being selfish?
Re: Bored Newlywed!
Cut the apron strings and cut way back on the time with this relative and that.
He also needs to put you first --- quality time with you, nott with his friends and other people.
Sit down and have a good long talk with him; this kind of thing has to end.. And you can also refuse when he suggests that you visit friends or relatives.
I don't think you're being selfish. I believe that even once married you should of course maintain and nurture relationships with friends and family. But your priority should be your spouse. You are seeking and needing personal, quality time with your husband and he should be happy to oblige.
I would have a conversation with him. You want more one on one time, he wants more time with friends and family. You can reach some kind of compromise. Switch off every other weekend or two weekends with friends/family, one weekend with one another, or vice versa. There is an arrangement that will work for you, as long as you're both reasonable.
I think it's so important to continue to date, be romantic, and spend quality time after getting married. And of course sex is important too. You need some way to stay emotionally connected... otherwise you essentially become roommates with shared finances. That will take a toll in your marriage and it likely won't take very long.
Definitely talk to him and get this on the table. Good luck!
My husband and I have also been married for about 6 months and spend a lot of time with family and friends. However, we make sure we have plenty of time to ourselves as well. He works shift work, so if he's off on a Wednesday, that's when we have a date night.
We see my side of the family almost every weekend - but not all day or for days at a time. Today we went out to my moms around 11 and hung out until about 3. We're catching a late supper with friends at a Mexican place at 8. That gave us a late, snuggly morning, 5 hours during the day for just us, and we'll be home by 930ish.
Yesterday we were at a diaper party from about 2-7, and nothing the rest of the day.
Its all about balance and communication. Good luck