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Oral Sex, not getting any :(
My husband and I have been together for 3 years and in that time he has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to perform oral on me. I have only been in two relationships (my marriage and a previous that lasted 3 years) previous partner also refused to perform on me but expected me to for him which I resented. I enjoy performing for my husband and it even turns me on too.
What can I do to get my husband to at least try? How do I approach the subject? I just want to know what it's like, who knows I may not even like it then he won't have to worry about it. He has a ton of excuses. I'm not clean (even though I've shaved, showered and even douched (which I've never done before) for him) I may taste bad, he has a weak stomach. blah blah blah.
Re: Oral Sex, not getting any :(
If you enjoy oral sex and he does not like to participate in it, why in the world did you continue to date him, let alone marry him?
He likes to get but not give. Very interesting.:(
Next time he wants you to wop the ole skull on his thang, you give him the same reasons: he smells bad, you have a weak stomach, blah blah.
How do you get him to try? It sounds like you have gone down that path already and it hasn't worked out. How do you approach the subject? I'm not sure how these conversations went in the past but all you can do is be up front and honest about your desires.
I think it's odd that he doesn't want to do it, but if he doesn't want to you have to respect his wishes. A lot of women don't like giving oral. I enjoy oral but don't like when he ejaculates in my mouth... so my husband doesn't do it. Sex is very personal and everyone has different boundaries. What if your husband came to you and said he wanted to have anal sex but you absolutely did not want to? What if he continued to pressure you to try it? It's a two way street.
It you want to avoid sexual dissatisfaction it makes sense to have a partner you are sexually compatible with. If oral pleasure was that important to you, you probably should have had a relationship with someone who was willing to do it. Instead, you have your husband (not snarky, I realize how that can read) and you may have to roll with it. Sorry.
While I completely agree with that statement, I didn't pick up that OPs husband has set the expectation for her to perform oral on him. She said she does it for him and that SHE enjoys it (as I'm sure he does too). So it's not exactly a selfless act on her part. OP - correct me if I'm wrong there.
Also OP - has he NEVER done it ever in his life? Maybe he did with a past partner and it was really bad? Do you think he's afraid he's not going to be good at it, that he might disappoint you? Have your conversations ever gone that deep?
Yes I do enjoy it, mostly because he enjoys it so much.
He has a near perfect memory and if you've talked to him about something before or ask the same question he gets kinda frustrated. I know we have talked pretty in depth about it.
I believe he has only done it once before when he was like 15 with his first girlfriend who was and is a wreck (she's a friend of ours still). I don't know if he ever did with his other girlfriends. I remember him saying he wasn't sure he would be good at it also. I reassured him that I wouldn't hate him and that he would have plenty of time to practice if he wanted to (lol) We had this deep conversation almost 2 years ago so it's a little hard to remember every detail.
I understand some people just don't like giving oral, I used to be one of those people because of the person who was asking for it was a jerk.
I'll try pretty much anything once (you joked about anal, I used to be a firm "exit only" supporter and we now have anal sex quite often.) and that's what makes me the most worked up about this. I've never turned down anything he has asked me to try. I feel like if I ask for stuff though then it's weird. He gets this look on his face like he's trying not to laugh or be mad that I'm rehashing the same old conversation.
As a man I love to give and receive but some men just will not have any of it.
I have friends that don't like to give and some that think oral is dirty and nasty for both male and female.
You just cannot force him, he is one of the few that hate the act. simple as that.
In the words of the great Dan Savage, oral is standard.
You enjoy giving your husband oral sex because you enjoy his pleasure. He needs to get his head around the fact that he should be excited about seeing your pleasure at his ministrations.
If you don't receive oral, what do you guys do for foreplay? What does he do to get you excited?
My DH is not very adventurous, but I know he'd try if I asked. I actually have a mental aversion to the mouth-to-vag part, but what about limiting to just the clitoris? Maybe he's worried about secretions and that's what makes his stomach turn. Like pp, everyone is different, but I seriously have had a hard time in the past enjoying oral because I think too much about what's going on in my vagina. If you are squeaky clean, suggest him staying external and see where that goes...he might realize he likes it and it's a start. BTW, I can't see how he can use excuses about cleanliness for oral but be fine with anal - I could easily argue the same for anal!
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