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Feeling like the 'man' in the relationship...
Remember those sitcoms we watched growing up? The husband would pathetically beg for sex every night, and the pretty, young wife would roll her eyes, make a list of all the things she had to do the next day and say she was too tired. I feel like this is becoming my marriage--- except I've somehow become the husband. If anyone would have told me when I was a teenager that I'd be turned down this often-- as a woman-- I wouldn't have believed it.
Don't get me wrong-- I have a wonderful marriage. My husband is amazing. The kind of guy every girl pictures marrying. He's good looking, works out, does the dishes, helps anyone who needs a favor and holds me in his arms as he falls asleep. The only problem is, I can't sleep because I wanted sex and he was too tired. (I know what you're thinking-- cut the guy some slack 
)... and I do. We are still having pretty regular sex (about 4-5 nights a week) most of the time, but we go through these dry spells where 5,6,7 days go by and there's nothing.
Then he'll do things like "sext" me all day long while he's at work, and all evening while I'm at work,.... then I get home around 9:30PM (excited as hell) and he wants to watch TV & drink beer until midnight when he crashes. I think the main issue is our schedule. He works early mornings and I work evenings. I am still wide awake & ready for action at midnight, and I've been led to believe I was going to get lucky, so I watch TV with him thinking the plans are still on. Meanwhile, he was over it around 8pm when he (I assume) jerked it in the shower after his workout.
We've had a million conversations about this and it's gone nowhere. I've tried initiating things earlier in the evening, but I get 50/50 results. I am the only one who initiates at all, really. And if I don't push the issue, it doesn't happen. It's driving me crazy that he goes all day hinting around like he can't wait to jump me when I get home, and then I have to drag him to bed when it comes down to it. Any ideas of what I can do to motivate him?
FYI: Together since high school, married for 3 years, we're in our mid 20's now & both in good shape/health.
Re: Feeling like the 'man' in the relationship...
Y'know, you've been married for 3 years, together for almost 10, and you're still doing it 4-5 times a week. You have an incredible sex life. You're banging like newlyweds. Consider having a baby... then you'll think about this time and be like "we were having so much sex then!!!"
Have you considered joining him in the shower after his workouts? That seems like a real opening? Otherwise, can you get up earlier? Maybe he would enjoy morning sex?
Really though, it sounds like you have such a high drive that he's never had to "work" for it. So he just lets you come onto him. Maybe just ask him to seduce you?
Um, are you serious? You are having sex 4-5 nights a week. Which means you are worried about the two nights a week that you occasionally don't get sex.
You do not have a problem.