Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.

aggiebug

Gwyneth Paltrow confessed to what Ben Affleck admitted a few months ago ? marriage is hard and it takes work.

And why does the idea of marriage being ?hard? or ?work? cause so many to get incensed?

Do you think marriage is "work"? And, is that a bad thing? 

http://omgchronicles.vickilarson.com/2013/05/13/should-marriage-be-work/

 

this is copied from ML.  But I thought it was interesting so I relayed it over here.  

 

oh and HAPPY FRIDAY! 

aggiebug

I think its silly when people get up in arms over calling marriage hard or work- especially in a society that is so plagued by divorce.  I truly feel their issue falls with the connotations of the words not what people are actually trying to say.  You have to put effort into your marriage, its not always going to be easy and happy and fun and that's ok.  

  

loislane906

"Say hello to Lumberg for me!!!"

Happy Friday! I only have one more week of work (provided I don't have the baby this weekend or early next week). The doctor said on Wednesday that she thinks I'll go full term. I'm glad I'm not miserable yet, but I can't believe it's almost time! We don't have much planned for this weekend besides having lunch with my sister and her husband tomorrow and grilling out since it's supposed to be awesome. We'll probably try to go on a walk too since it might help speed things along.

I agree Aggie. Marriage is work. But it's also fun! If it's all work, then you might not be with the right person (at least in my opinion). I think a lot of it comes from not getting to know the person well enough before you get married or ignoring signs of incompatability and thinking that marriage will "fix it". Wrong. 

Joy2611

So soon, Lois!!!

 

I think life is work.  Taking care of yourself, your bills, your home, your spouse, your family, and your children.  All of that is work.  Sometimes it's fun.  Sometimes it's hard.  As long as the fun times out number the hard times, then you're doing something right.

 

My husband and I have not had any real time together in weeks.  It's making me really sad.  We thought we'd get last night, but then work clients swallowed him until nearly midnight.  Before that, I was out of town, then we had all those weddings and were surrounded by family.  We also have a really small, temporary bed right now and we're both so conscious of not taking the other's space that we're on the edge of our own sides.  BLAH.  This weekend he has to go away one last time and the we're out of this ridiculous month.

BeanieJane

"Yeahh...I'm going to need you to stay late" I hate that movie, haha, and I haven't seen it all the way through. 

 

I think people who say "marriage is hard work!" all the time are either trying to prove something to themselves or others. To me they are trying to control every aspect of everything rather than just living. Like Joy said, every aspect of life involves some kind of work, sometimes you hit a road block and it can be hard to work around, but in general no.  If you have to work THAT hard for marriage then you need to re-evaluate. 

 

I fear I will need a boat to get home, and then a boat to drop me off on my door step.  

jlq2005

I don't know this movie. Booo. I always google them later, though. I can't stand not knowing things.

I agree with what Joy said - Life is work. Keeping all aspects of your life together and running smoothly is work. Marriage isn't always fun and games. Sometimes it's work, too. But so what. It's part of life. 

degrea

"We need to talk about your TPS reports."

I love this movie! Sadly it is reality for me and most engineers. I dream of some day coming into work hearing "Damn it feels good to be a gangster..." over the PA system and beating the crap out of the all in one copier.

I agree with everybody. I dislike when society gets angry for people saying marriage is hard work. As Joy said life is hard work why would marriage be any different. If it was easy everyone would celebrate their 50th wedding ann.

LaBellaVita23

I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". 

Joy2611:

I think life is work.  Taking care of yourself, your bills, your home, your spouse, your family, and your children.  All of that is work.  Sometimes it's fun.  Sometimes it's hard.  As long as the fun times out number the hard times, then you're doing something right.

 

This is exactly how I feel.  I think a lot of people take their marriage for granted and think that they don't have to put effort into it.  Once you start taking something for granted, it can start to disintegrate whether you mean for it to or not.

 

 

I have the day off for yippee for that!  DH and I are going up to our alma mater today to participate in this "internship" thing for the athletic department.  We hopefully get to meet a bunch of the coaches so that should be fun.  Then we're having dinner in a dorm and going to see The Internship at the movie theater.  We're really excited so hopefully it's as fun as it sounds!

LaBellaVita23

Also, I don't like how there's a negative connotation with working on your marriage.  Isn't it far better to admit that it's work and that you are in fact working on it than just give up?  Or will people throw in the towel because they mistakenly believe that marriage should be all rainbows and butterflies and then give up because life throws them a curveball? 

Joy2611

I can see how people get surprised when they realize that marriage isn't something that is passive.

Dating is active.  You have to like each other, you have to have fun together, you have to keep wanting to see each other or go your separate ways.  Engagement is all about planning the wedding.  Once the wedding is over, I can see how a lot of people think the "courting" is over, all the active work is over and it's time to just enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.  Marriage is a beginning, not an ending.  You didn't just win the World Series and get to relax; you've just made it on the team and it's the start of the season.

I'll be the first to admit that I find marriage hard.  Not all the time, but there are most definitely moments when I think "this would be easier alone!"  I was on my own for nearly ten years before marrying.  But, as time goes on, I have far less of those moments and far more of the "Oh, thank god someone else in this with me."  There's been a learning curve for me.  But, I keep working at it!

jlq2005

I shouldn't have waited so long to wash the dishes. Ugh. 

degrea

E: That sounds like an awesome time. Hope you have a blast!

jlq2005

I just finished scrubbing my bathroom floor, and now I have to pee.  This is why I don't scrub floors.