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Update on ER bill...
Well, ex wife did it again... H got a phone call from the ER billing for payment yesterday. If ex wife takes the kids to the ER and the insurance is in MY name, how did they get his phone # and name?! Chances are she puts his info and her address.
H explained to the guy, and told him to mail us the info ASAP. We will be hand delievering it when we pick up the kids next Friday since the Ex told us "she hasn't gotten anything". BS, such BS. I called billing whenI found out 2 months ago and they said it was send and i verified her address.
After we take the kids back, I told H to tell her if we get another call about it, we will pay it off and take $100 off CS each month until paid in full. She b!tches, he needs to tell her he's been trying to get this stuff in a court order, but oh... she hasn't gotten that either... then H needs to get a lawyer, because if we touch CS she will try to keep them from him.
I think H needs to call her buff and get tough. Why are men so scared of the biomom? If it's through the court and she keeps them from him, it's CONTEMPT... end game. Right now she has the trump card - the kids. He needs to get that taken from her.
I'm at the point where I don't want to hear his boo-woo poor me attitude about the kids and ex. MAN UP and get it straightened out legally.
Ok /rant, Sorry. Had to get that out.
Re: Update on ER bill...
Ugh, sorry you have so much "baby mama drama!"
I understand where you are coming from. I have a few friends that decided to handle similar situations outside of court. When it comes to kids, you just have to make everything court official. It always becomes some kind of mess if they don't.
Good luck!
Sorry you are going through this with his ex. I agree a little with what you're saying about your H putting his foot down and not taking anymore crap. But at the same time, those are his kids and it would be a horrible experience for him to grow through not being able to see and talk to his kids. So, I can see why he might not want to push so hard.
Hopefully, she can get her sh!t together and this get's taken care of easily.
I think going through a few months of hell is worth getting more time/communication would be worth it.
He's not allowed to talk to them on the phone right now, or Skype. She just wants him to pay and that's all. Last year he asked if he could call his son on his birthday, the next day. She said no. Then the day after she blew up his phone saying he's a terrible father, who doesn't even call his kids on their birthdays! He only gets to talk to them when his mom gets them once a month.
During the his ex's bad times, his "are the kids ok" texts are ignored, or responded by F*** You. Or her new H texting back to stop texting his wife. Her H takes her phone with him on guard weekends.. there's no trust there AT.ALL. I kind of think her H got MH text about calling for his son bday and told him no. So I really don't know.
We only get them for weekend trips for birthdays, a week in the summer, and alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'd really like to see him get them for at LEAST a month in the summer.
I feel like this would all be easier if the court said - weekly phone call, weekly updates via texts, here's the visitation schedule, here's the CS amount, and here is who is responsible for medical bills. IF she asked us to help we would. We talked about paying half, and it's $680 total. But this happened last year and she said "she'd get to it when she can" and it was about to go onto H's credit (they were still on H's ins at the time). I just feel like we try to help, H tries to be a good dad with the given situation, but she gets him everytime.
Sounds like you need to go to court! i feel like the situation is not very fair for your H if he wants to see them and talk to them he should be allowed!!! Plus he should have to pay for her taking them to the hospital ( if i remember correctly they didnt even need to go to the hospital, just a doctor! ) she is being very unfair using his kids as leverage! you need to get court orders so everything he is and isn't allowed is spelled out!
Hope it all works out!
Ok, now I see your point of view. And you guys need to take her a$$ to court! That's horrible and not fair to the kids. It sounds like you guys have your work cut out for you and I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like this.
Thanks guys for letting me get that out. I've been lurking on the blended family board on TB, but they scare me haha. I am learning a lot from them, though.
Ever have a friend and she only dates jerks, and when sh!t goes down, she gets upset they are jerks... and you get to a point where you have no more empathy left for them? I feel like that with H on this subject. I can't feel sorry for him anymore. It's been 4 years, I just tell him "well if it was through the courts..." and leave it. He has to do it, not me.
Plus side - MIL has them this weekend and we've been talking to his daughter. His son has autism so he gets on and says hi daddy and runs off. His daughter even asked if she could call my dad haha. H's dad passed away, so I think she's taken up with my dad, who absolute LOVES her. Actually when H asked to marry me, my dad offered a trade, his daughter for H's haha. Anyway, she excited to see us and I just went shopping for fun things for us to do and food... we never have that much "junk" in our cart, but that's how they eat, can't change it in a week with us.