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rude and selfish..
My sister and her H tried having a baby for a little over a year (sister already has a child from previous relationship). They gave up, even though my sister has always gone on and on about wanting a huge family (she has always wanted 5 kids!). They reasoned that with my neice already being 5 and my sister's business taking off, they don't want another kid after all.
We went out to lunch a week ago and the topic of children came up. When I said DH and I weren't sure if we want kids or not, she got really upset. Her reasoning was: "Some people who WANT kids can't have them, yet you, someone who COULD, is choosing not to. It's so rude and selfish of you." Now, I was really offended. And she doesn't know that DH and I might not be able to have kids after all, but really, how would it be rude of me to not have kids if I could? It makes ZERO sense!
Re: rude and selfish..
I would be beyond pissed and would turn it around on her. Why does she want more kids? In my experience, people want kids for selfish reasons. And she already has one. Isn't she just being greedy?
my thoughts exactly! People tell me its selfish of me that i don't want children. But wouldn't it be worse to have a child JUST BECAUSE its the thing to do not because i want to................ *shaking my head*
ahha that is really funny.
She decided not to have more children because her business is taking off. Meaning because she wants to have more time to herself. That isn't selfish?
Most human decisions are based in what could be considered selfishness. Most people make decisions based on what will give them the best life outcome. Most people don't intentionally make decisions that would make life harder or worse off. If given $10,000 for no reason at all (not worked for, etc.) most people would spend it on themselves instead of donating it. Selfish? You bet ya. It's human nature. Being selfish is not a bad thing.
I think considering what you want before jumping the gun and getting pregnant is less selfish than having kids for the sake of fulfilling your fantasy of what family should be. As far as it being "rude" not to have kids?? Um... only if you wear a t-shirt that says "I'm choosing not to procreate" to an infertility clinic.
Very strange, indeed. I will take a guess that this is not the most bizarre irrational thing she has ever said. People like this tend to just jump from one crazy conviction to the next.
It's nowhere close. She is very openly athiest. She "came out" about a year ago. That is what she calls it- coming out with her atheism. Anyway, she will post anti-religious rants on her FB all the time and "tag" me in them. I am very religious and am in a "strick" religion, so I guess she thinks if I read enough of her posts I will be "unbrainwashed." She also has 5 facial peircings and her back peirced and has tons of tattoos and purple hair. Really, I think a lot of them are really nice. They are different, but they suit her. When people compliment her appearance, she assumes they are mocking her. She has something against the world.. and she is certainly a character!
This exactly.
I have some insight on this actually. Yea, what she said was out of line, but I wouldn't be too hard on her. I dealt with infertility for six years and I'm just coming out of it now. It is HARD! It makes you irrationally angry over the stupidest things... which I'm pretty sure is what happened at lunch. I used to have the same reaction to people who got pregnant and weren't happy about it, though I never told them, that was a little out of line, she must be very comfortable with you.
It makes zero sense because it was said out of grief. I'm not saying she was in the right, but I'd try to let this one go if you could, she's in a rough place.