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I'm about fed up with it....
So My DH and I have been married for a little over 6 months, However we've been together (dating & living) for 2 years. I love him to death! This is not a bashing him post but at the same time it is!! This is mainly a venting post any advice is accepted at this point.....
We've just bought our first house 2 months ago, before we moved he offered up our apartment to one of his friends to help him get on his feet. Well needless to say we didn't even live in OUR FIRST house for roughly 2 weeks and his friend started to stay with us. That was all fine and dandy for a while. I don't mind helping people get on there feet, however it's turned from 1 person to 2. He randomly got married a week ago and she's prego. AGAIN, I don't mind helping people.. But it's putting me at my wits end because we're(my DH & I) are trying to help them find a place and fast. The other night She made the comment since she's prego she wants to live close to their hospital, his response was "They'll stay at his fathers house and then come back to our house" UMMM.. OK she's due in AUGUST so heck NO!! So my DH pulled him aside after I informed him of this and basically told him to "Grow up" he has a kid on the way. Then my DH wrote down at least 15 places for them to call... THEY HAVEN'T CALLED ANY!! Supposedly there supposed to look for places Saturday and my DH is going with them to make sure they do. When in all actuality it shouldn't be either one of our places to do this for them. They need to do it themselves!!!
Since the DH has opened our house to them. I really would like to watch this friendship burn to the ground. Being the loving wife and kindhearted person I am I feel sorry for them, but after some events that have occurred this week and if they don't find a place tomorrow. I've decided Monday I'm going to start being a straight up B!@$h. It's been almost 2 months and I'm really at my wits end. This is MY house and I'm ready to have it back!!!!!
Re: I'm about fed up with it....
Evict these 2.
Lock their stuff out of the house and that's it.
YOu need to stand up for yourself more -- and your H needs to be a team with you. from the onset you and he should have told this friend no --- it isn't your lookout to be somebody's haven and home to live in.
IF these 2 can't afford themselves, how in ruddy hell are they going to afford a kiddo???? Let me guess....no health insurance so they are having the state foot the bill on this one. Very sad.
And be more fussy who you 2 have as friends. Get rid of their "friendship" posthaste. And don't feel bad about it at all.
This "friend" is weird, shifty, flakey and jost plain flighty --- huh? he married her and she's pregnant "again"? Probably not his kid --- and where is her other child?
This is a can of worms that the 2 of you opened. Lose this "friend" like a bad habit -- I am serious about taking whatever belongings they have, putting them on the sidewalk and locking the doors - change all the locks.
And get yourselves to a counselor. the 2 of you need to learn how to communicate and learn how to make decisions jointly. He decided to bring this flake (and ultimately, the girl that the flake dug up) into YOUR home --- and you didn't have a say! Think about it....is this how you want to live your life with him, with hm making all the decisions and so far, NOT wisely???
I completely agree with Tarpon. You tried being nice - you gave them lots of help, even looked up numbers for them to call! It should be clear to them that you want them out. Now it's time to put your foot down. I would let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they have x amount of time to be out. You've just moved into your first house, and you need privacy! If they complain or try to make you feel guilty, just remember - they're contributing nothing to this relationship.
I also think you need to make it clear to your husband that you will be evicting any "guests" not approved by you - those decisions are a team thing, not an executive decision thing. It is your house too. It is nice that he has a good heart, but he needs to put you first.
Good luck!
I'm curious why you and DH can't sit down with them 2 and give them deadline? Something along the lines 'we decided to help you out for this amount of time and we'd like for you to find a place by _' .
since its both your house, I don't think only your DH should speak to his friend. I'm curious what happened to the apartment, does his friend and pregnant wife have a job? There should have been rules and rent requirement when they moved in.
Husband and I went through a very similar situation right before our wedding. One of his close friends "broke up" with his girlfriend so we did told him he could crash with us through the weekend cause his mom was out of town and he was so upset. We were trying to be nice.
Next thing I know, it had been over 3 weeks of him staying on our futon and her staying over off and on, too. He never even asked if she could come over. We had no privacy.
They drove me nuts! Constantly changing the setting on my a/c and turning off my ceiling fans. He left around half empty cans of soda in my living next to my WHITE chair even though we kept telling him our cat would knock it over.
My favorite is when I baked 2 dozen cupcakes and within 24 hrs they had eaten all, but 6 of them. Had to nerve to ask me after 2 were left that if I had planned anything special for them.
You gotta kick them out! Be mean if you have to. It's your home and your relationship that's what is most important. Believe me, I hate being the mean person. I really do, but sometimes you gotta.
Let us know how the talk goes on Monday. I really hope you guys get your home back to yourselves as soon as possible. Good luck!
Holy crow....if you planned anything special for them!
What were you, their tour director, too, in addition to being the kindergarten teacher???
Yea it's been almost 2 months... They are trying to be picky about where they move to! Um OK we've moved 4 times in the past 2 years. A trailer park, a nice double wide, an apartment and now our house so ya know what I really want to tell them to "SUCK IT UP!"
Yea I haven't cooked supper for the past weeks, yet every time I come in the house the sink is FULL of dishes!!! It infuriates me to a t!! & our laundry room is outside of the house and I've taken the dog out at midnight and the door was wide open and the light still on, I mean come on!!
I'm really hoping we won't have to have a serious talk with them, because tomorrow they are or at least she is going to look in the trailer park and I told the husband they better be moving NEXT weekend or else... There stuff will be outside in the front yard whenever they return.
I'll keep you guys updated throughout the week!!
They have poor eating habits and all they eat is junk food. Neither
of them ever cooks. So when they saw home made cupcakes, they went insane.
But jokes on them....does anybody realize what it does to your system to eat that
much sugar in such a short time???? I'm just glad it wasn't any of my bathrooms
that were being used after that.
You sound very annoying here. I hate health freaks.
For love of mike, get rid of them. Period.
girl, I feel you on that one. Because we went on vacation the first week of June I haven't been grocery shopping, cause I don't feel like cooking for and ungrateful army!! I opened my fridge up yesterday and its nothing but junkfood in there. Same thing with my pantry. It would be different if they bought legit food but junk is a different story. So why should I have to buy and cook for them when they can't even buy regular food. I can't wait to see how it's going to be when they move out and into their place!! :-)
That's fantastic!!! Congrats.
Hope you guys get to finally have
some great quality time together.
Me too!!
I'm so ready to be able to just enjoy it just being us! and Me NOT having to clean EVERYDAY!!