Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Help :(
I agreed to a one time 3some with my fiance but he has his mind set on his room mate that's a girl and any time I try to get him to think or talk about anyone else he gets mad. It is like he is in lust with her. I have thought about leaving him as he rather put her before his son and I. What do I do?
Re: Help :(
Why is this even a question? Get out now while you don't have to get a divorce.
Ugh.
Drop him immediately.
He could be as chaste as a choirboy at this point -- that he is putting somebody --- ANYBODY! --- before you is a dealbreaker.
Is he your kiddo's father?
If so, that's bad news. What a skank -- some father figure he is. Get rid of the guy now; get to an attorney to get child support and visitations rectified.
If you can't afford an attorney, try Legal Aid or call your local women's shelter for advice; they can lead you to a low cost lawyer. GL.
ETA: I will bet you that this roommate is sleeping with him. Get rid of this scuzz today.
Even if you say no to the threesome and he says no I will bet you the Federal deficit that this wench he is living with will remain in the picture forever and she will be given preference over you. Get rid of him today. Yesterday would have been better, but ya can't have everything, can ya.;)
Ok there seems to be a pretty clear sentiment here that you are either unwillingly or at least begrudginlgy accepting this proposal for a threesome. The fact that he already has the person in mind is not necessarily a problem, except for the fact that it is his roommate. First off, do you think he is already having sex with her? His interest may be motivated to open a backdoor for him to take your agreement for a one-time threesome and turn it into a complicit understanding that you are cool with him having sex with this other woman, which I assume you are not cool with. Secondly, if you are not into the threesome at all, why agree to it? No man worth your devotion will insist upon doing something that you do not want, or compromise your relationship with sexual demands. Speak up and don't fear losing him for your refusal, if he will leave you over this, he is better gone than with you, so be thankful.
If you are into the threesome its important that boundaries are staked out and if you are not willing to have the third person be his room mate, then make that one of your conditions. You have the right to choose who you have sex with and if she is not someone you want, then so be it.
This kind of thing is usually best explored when a relationship is more stable. I don't think yours is there yet, you are not even married yet, only engaged, and you already have a child so that complicates matters. If the relationship spoils over this, there is an innocent child involved who will be affected negatively, so tread carefully. Sometimes sex is just sex, its fun, it can be a thrill for you both. But the important thing is to set the grounds for what this is before you do it. Will this be a one-time thing? If you like it, will you desire it again? Would you be agreeable to a negotiated monogamy, open marriage, or polyamorous relationship? If so, these details should be clearly defined and discussed with maturity. A maturity which I suspect neither you or your fiancee have just yet.