opinions and advice

hotsummerwave

we have been married just about 1&1/2 year now and my husband has not once came in side me. i feel like im missing something because i want to feel what it is luke to have it inside me and feel him totally melt into me when hes finishing. his reasoning is he is scared about having a child...how can we possibly change things up? even with a condom on and birth control he still pulls out. i try very hard to not lwt it bother me but it does. i feel like im being robbed in a way. we have talked about it but nothing seems to change

Kimbus22

If he's too afraid of getting pregnant even with condoms and birth control, there's most likely some sort of other issue going on.  I'd be asking him more questions about where the fear stems from and show him the statistics on the likelihood of pregnancy with multiple forms of birth control used.  If that didn't change his mind, I'd ask him to see a counselor.

donjowns

Consider turning the tables for a moment.....He wants to do something you don't want to do....like maybe anal sex for example.  If he asked you to do it because he feels like he is "missing something" would that be enough for you to do something that you don't like? 

You wanting him to finish inside of you is not an odd thing or anything that you should be ashamed of wanting.  But you can not expect him to just be ok with it after knowing for years that he is not.  What is normal to you, may be strange or uncomfortable for him and you should respect that.  You would want the same respect from him if he had a sexual desire for an act that you did not want to do, right? 

 

 

TarponMonoxide

hotsummerwave:

we have been married just about 1&1/2 year now and my husband has not once came in side me. i feel like im missing something because i want to feel what it is luke to have it inside me and feel him totally melt into me when hes finishing. his reasoning is he is scared about having a child...how can we possibly change things up? even with a condom on and birth control he still pulls out. i try very hard to not lwt it bother me but it does. i feel like im being robbed in a way. we have talked about it but nothing seems to change

See a sex therapist. There's something psychological in the mix here.

A full workup with a urologist is also warranted. See if there is a medical reason why he cannot ejaculate inside of you.

 

Kimbus22

donjowns:

Consider turning the tables for a moment.....He wants to do something you don't want to do....like maybe anal sex for example.  If he asked you to do it because he feels like he is "missing something" would that be enough for you to do something that you don't like? 

You wanting him to finish inside of you is not an odd thing or anything that you should be ashamed of wanting.  But you can not expect him to just be ok with it after knowing for years that he is not.  What is normal to you, may be strange or uncomfortable for him and you should respect that.  You would want the same respect from him if he had a sexual desire for an act that you did not want to do, right? 

 

But he didn't say "Eh. That's just not my thing. I prefer to do x/y/z".  He told her he won't do it because he's afraid of pregnancy even while using multiple forms of birth control.  So either he's lying about his reason or he's got some sort of psychological problem regarding this subject.  Either way they need to deal with it.

oldbugle

Could it be that he is actually unable to reach orgasm thru intercourse and is embarassed about letting you know?     More than a few men have this problem due to using too tight a 'grip' in masturbation, and being circumcised tends to make the problem worse.   If this IS the problem then it's possible to 'retrain' a mans response so that the more subtle stimulation of a vagina can be enjoyable and orgasmic.