Help with spicing things up

alyxandreeea

It seems like my husband never wants to have sex, or he wants to have sex when I'm sleeping and he can't wake me up. I think he watches porn on his phone a lot and that's part of the problem. I need help with how I should spice things up?

anssett

I'm all for masturbation, but not at the expense of the couples sex life. Have you talked to him? Do you initiate sex? When you do have sex is it enjoyable? Is it mundane or still adventurous (well, was it ever)? Are you orgasming?

Also, how long has this been going on? Did it decrease in frequency over time? 

All of these things will help me/us get a better sense of the situation and advise more specifically. 

alyxandreeea

It's basically been like this for years. I have initiated sex before and usually there's an excuse like he's not in the mood or tired. I've talked to him about it and tried to say maybe there's a problem but he just gets mad and says he doesn't have a problem. When we do have sex, yes it's great we both enjoy it and orgasm usually together.

artbyallie

Have you tried talking about it at a time when you're not trying to initiate sex? Or does he get mad no matter when you try to talk about it?

MaggieF516