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Help my brother
After having his heart demolished after a long term relationship and an almost fatal accident, he's ready to start dating again. He's not the same person physically or mentally as he was before the accident. He walks with a cane, has a plate in his head and noticable scars on his arms. He had fallen into a really bad place a few years ago, but has pulled himself out, and for the part two years has been working IT for a government contractor including TS+ security clearance. He's in a good place in his life, but in some respects doesn't have a lot to offer to a relationship.
3 days a week he goes to the gym and is as physically fit as he can be. Otherwise he goes to work, and either goes home and games for hours, sometimes all night, or goes to his local bar and watches a sporting event. Maybe it's just me, but this is really unattractive to me. He has a lot of interests, but doesn't do any of them for fear of commitment. He feels if he commits to a group or an activity he has to go to everything and can't ever miss a meeting or rehearsal. I've tried to explain that it's OK to miss some, he's an adult now and life gets in the way.
Hes agreed to sign up for EHarmony for 90 days. I told him to not go into it expecting to meet his future wife, but to gain experiences. If he meets his future spouse then it's a bonus, but he really needs to expand his horizons and get out of his rut. He says he's ready, but one never knows how we'll react in a particular situation.
Suggestions or avenues to help my brother. He really wants a family and he does have so much to offer, how can I help him unlock or see his potential?
Re: Help my brother
what about some kind of volunteering that is not a regularly scheduled type of event? playing with animals at Paws or mentoring a child with BB/BS? volunteering is a great way to meet new people. Does he have any pets? if he has a dog he could go to the dog park... I met a lot of people there.
Hope he finds what he is looking for soon, you are a great sister for looking out for him so much!
What about meetup.com? There are a variety of things he can do. Some are just other guys meeting up for a social event, some are geared towards singles, seeing shows etc.....
You are a good sister, and I hope he meets someone nice! It is difficult to step back out of your shell after something happens, and sometimes it is hard to make new friends etc.... You feel like people are looking at your flaws; because they are new to you. I can relate in this aspect; it is challenging and hard. With time, you tackle that battle.
Good luck to your brother!